Dinner at childminders

[Paperyfish]

My dd (7) has started at junior school in September and goes to a childminder one afternoon after school when I work later. She’s there till 6.30. I pay the childminder and additional £6 to give her tea ( dinner/ supper - what ever regional word you use for her evening meal) not just a snack. She takes a packed lunch to school so I wanted her to have a decent, substantial meal in the evening. The childminder often gives them things such as a toasted bagel with honey or scotch pancakes or a banana sandwich. She says my dd wanted these and eats them. I think most of the other kids have a hot lunch at school- so I guess I understand that they might find this acceptable...but I don’t think it’s really fair if I’m paying extra for an actual meal. I’d regard these things as a hefty after school snack. Am I being a bit precious? Would it be appropriate for me to request she has a proper meal even if the others aren’t? It doesn’t need to be fancy or complex- jacket potatoes and beans, fish fingers and mash, pasta and sauce, omelettes and salad etc kind of things. Quick after schools type basic meals. Am I being unreasonable to insist or are bread based toasty sort of things generally accepted as a meal for 7 years olds after school? And do you think these meals are worth an extra £6? As I’m thinking I might as well just do her a second lunch box!

[manicmij]

Your DD probably has the snack just after being collected from school so would probably be ready for something decent when you are home. If you are going to provide a nutritious course why not give her at home. Most childminders I know and where I live is polluted with them seem to just offer snack type meals and kids are collected up to 7 pm. You are being ripped off.

[dottiedodah]

I would speak to CM ,£6.00 seems an awful lot for a snack! If she wants to eat the same things as the other children ,then pay a reduced rate (or find another CM)! Maybe could do a pizza or ready meal for her when she gets home?

[Howlovely]

I think I'd have to make a bit of a point and say something like,
CM, DD has been saying she has only been having a banana sandwich/bagel for dinner at your house and won't tell me what else she's had! Would you mind telling me what evening meals she has at yours please?
If she says yes, it's just a bagel, then you can definitely question the £6 charge and how she is blatantly taking the piss. Imagine if are charged every parent £6 for lunch and dinner? She would be absolutely raking it in!

[BackforGood]

She's robbing you blind!
I'm not a CMer but have used several over the years, for different reasons.
Most would give the dc fruit / toast as an after-school snack as part of the 'minding'', without charging anything extra.

As she is clearly considering a meal as a separate transaction - which is fair enough, IMO - then she needs to fulfil that part of the contract. Firstly I think it only ought to be £2 - £3 at the absolute tops, but it needs to be a proper meal. I would be happy with her having a portion of whatever the CMer's family were having the night before - shepherd's pie, roast dinner, lasagne, fish pie, curry, whatever so she didn't have to cook a separate meal, but it needs to be a well balanced meal if she is charging to separately to make it.
BabyShark's idea about asking for a list of the things she is going to be served, makes sense. You would be absolutely right to challenge her as to why your dd hasn't been getting the full cooked dinner you are being over charged for.

[Babysharkisanearworm]

If she said it would be a hot meal then I would not expect a high tea.
Ask her for the week's tea menu in advance so you know what she has planned to feed your child from her list of hot meals as you are concerned she is not getting what you thought.

[kateandme]

BeesKnees4 I've never had one.is it something I could get the same pleasure out of as an adult.i feel deprived. 🙂

[underground76]

YANBU. My mum used to be a registered childminder and kids whose parents paid for tea got a proper meal. Nothing remotely fancy - pasta and sauce, fish fingers with oven chips and peas, jacket potato with tuna or beans, pizza/quiche and salad, that kind of thing.

One kid was very fussy and he quite often used to have a sort of ploughmans with bread, cheese and pickle and some fruit, so not a hot meal as such, but it was still more than a snack.

[Dutchesss]

The childminder is feeding your daughter sugary crap for dinner, I wouldn't be happy at all, never mind the fact it's not worth £6.

[AdriannaP]

YANBU

I don’t pay extra for dinner at CM and my daughter gets home cooked food like lasagna, pasta, chicken and rice... etc Always with plenty of vegetables.

[TriciaH87]

I would be pissed too if I paid £6 for 2 slices of bread and a banana. Or for a bloody bagel and honey. You could send a months supply if it's one afternoon a week for that price. Ask her to provide a proper meal or tell her you will send her a snack and feed her once home. I would be annoyed if I was charged that for a snack. Can feed kids a meal and dessert out for that price.

[ShinyGiratina]

In many restaurants, you'd get change from £6 for a children's meal!

£6 for a snack or even a hot meal is extortionate.

[TheOrigRightsofwomen]

How much do you pay in total for an after school session, and how far away from school is it (as the fuel costs are probably 45p/mile)?

[Aprillygirl]

That's a complete and utter pisstake. Even if your DD is happy with it, she's being fed the cheapest and easiest food going and expecting you to fork out 6 quid for it? Fuck that. Pack her something similar yourself to tide her over then give her a light hot supper at home.

Banana and peanut butter on toast is food of the gods btw.

[Tanith]

This is the sort of snack I'd give them as soon as they got in from school (they are always ravenous!), but I'd follow it up with a cooked evening meal later.

I would check with the childminder. Perhaps she's doing the same, but your DD refuses the later meal? In which case, of course, she needs to cut back on the snack.

[Butterfly84]

Definitely insist she has a hot dinner and if the CM has an issue with this, just say you'll do her a dinner at home then. Can't believe you requested a proper dinner and it's just been a bagel etc.

If the CM didn't have any ideas on what to cook, she should have just asked you. Seems like she doesn't want to cook for just one child...even though you're paying her.

[willstarttomorrow]

Also OP, I had the same with DD. She wanted pack lunches to eat with her friends, then their was a change in how school lunch's were delivered and she wanted that. I quickly discovered whay constitutes a 'hot meal' at school lunch time is pretty poor and overpriced. As parents I think we have an obsession about our children getting a 'good hot meal'. They just need a good meal. So send a good packed lunch, ask for a good snack meal at the child minder, make sure they have a good breakfast. You may need to offer food again at home but if your child has had nutritionally balanced meals throughout the day is there any reason that it has to be a full hot meal? The main thing is that children sit down to eat together and learn how to not be fussy about food. The whole 'one hot meal a day' is probably quite outdated.

[clucky3]

Never mind banana sandwiches, the only way to eat banana is on toast

[1Morewineplease]

YANBU ... you need to talk to your childminder else pay for school dinner and accept a childminder snack . £6 seems to be free money here!

[Crinkle77]

A banana sandwich? Didn’t even know that was a thing confused
What you've never heard of a banana butty?

I'd sack the CM dinner and feed her when you get home tbh. 7pm shouldn't be too late for a 7yo
I would say 7pm is too late for kids to have their tea.

[namina]

YANBU I think that's crazy especially when ur paying £6

[SunshineCake]

Food wise what she is giving is fine if you weren't paying £6 for something costing less than a quid!!

[CottonHeadedNinyMuggins]

Sorry love I've just seen it's once a week and not each week. Then definitely no!! that is far far too much!

[cdtaylornats]

A "snack" that your DD will eat is surely better than a hot meal she wont.

[BillHadersNewWife]

To be honest I would talk to the childminder to ascertain a few things. It could be DD is the only child NOT having the snack and she just wants to be like the others.

I'd let her have the snack and have dinner at home. 7.00pm isn't terribly late.