Dinner at childminders

[Paperyfish]

My dd (7) has started at junior school in September and goes to a childminder one afternoon after school when I work later. She’s there till 6.30. I pay the childminder and additional £6 to give her tea ( dinner/ supper - what ever regional word you use for her evening meal) not just a snack. She takes a packed lunch to school so I wanted her to have a decent, substantial meal in the evening. The childminder often gives them things such as a toasted bagel with honey or scotch pancakes or a banana sandwich. She says my dd wanted these and eats them. I think most of the other kids have a hot lunch at school- so I guess I understand that they might find this acceptable...but I don’t think it’s really fair if I’m paying extra for an actual meal. I’d regard these things as a hefty after school snack. Am I being a bit precious? Would it be appropriate for me to request she has a proper meal even if the others aren’t? It doesn’t need to be fancy or complex- jacket potatoes and beans, fish fingers and mash, pasta and sauce, omelettes and salad etc kind of things. Quick after schools type basic meals. Am I being unreasonable to insist or are bread based toasty sort of things generally accepted as a meal for 7 years olds after school? And do you think these meals are worth an extra £6? As I’m thinking I might as well just do her a second lunch box!

[Howlovely]

How the hell can she justify taking £6 off you for a banana sandwich?! She knows she's taking the piss and is just seeing for how long she can get away with it I think. Does she tell you, oh she had a bagel for tea, then say that's an extra £6 Thanks? I'm really curious as to how she thinks this is at all reasonable!

[SpottedOnMN]

£6 for that is ludicrous and it’s not even a proper tea. When I childminder a couple of years ago they always got a proper cooked tea for £2..

[Mum2jenny]

A supermarket ready meal would be cheaper and you could give it to the CM to microwave for her

[Bonkerz]

As a cm myself I cook at lunchtime for my younger mindees. I keep a meal back to heat up for older after schoolers. It's not unreasonable to expect a cooked meal especially on a late finish like 6:30. You need to sort it quickly.

[miaCara]

Seems excessive for snacks I must say.
I would stop paying the CM the extra and get a chippy tea that evening since its only once a week.

[Ugzbugz]

Hang on are you paying around £6 per hour for care and then another £6 for a bagel? I used to pay £6 per hour and no extra for food and it was hot food, tbh they were not huge portions but it was hot every day and no extra x

[BillHadersNewWife]

Did you ask your DD if other kids were having an actual meal? Like...has she seen a proper meal there or does everyone get bagels or the like?

Sounds like a massive rip off! 6 pounds!

[GleamInYourEyes]

I'd speak to your CM and say you'd really like a hot cooked evening meal as your DD has packed lunches.

If she can't do it then swap to school dinners on those days and send a packed tea for her.

I'm a CM and do a tea for after schoolers at £2 a day - usually pasta bake/fish fingers/jacket potatoes etc

[MintyMabel]

A banana sandwich? Didn’t even know that was a thing

You’ve never had a banana sandwich??

[purpleme12]

I've never had a banana sandwich either

[MyDcAreMarvel]

£6! Our holiday club charges £2 for a hit home cooked meal eg curry, cottage pie and a pudding. It’s far to much even if it wasn’t a bagel!

[MyDcAreMarvel]

*hot

[purpleme12]

Maybe OP does mean £6 for after school care including the meal

[Mum2jenny]

I’ve never had a banana sandwich either, and I wouldn’t thank you for one under most circumstances.

[Italiangreyhound]

You are definitely not unreasonable.

However, I think I would simply pay for her to have a hot lunch so she can eat what the others are eating at tea time. I am still not sure I'd consider a bagel with honey as a 'proper' tea for a growing child.... but I do fancy one right now!

[Italiangreyhound]

Banana sandwiches are pretty yummy, I think I need to eat some tea!

[LauraMipsum]

Banana sandwiches were a treat for tea when I was that age! We did have school dinners though.

[Mermaidtissues]

I’ve employed various Nannies who say that they can cook pretty much anything but really can’t, burnt pans, no idea.

I suspect that this is the case here rather than CF.

[purpleme12]

I'm presuming that if her child is having a snacky tea then that's what the others are having too

[IceCreamConewithaflake]

School dinners are £2.80. Give her a hoy school dinner and then she can have the pack up, that she would normally have had at lunch, for tea.
Sorted.
And you will save £2.20

[eastmidswarwicknightnanny]

I pay £13.50 per child for 2.5hrs after school inc a hot meal usually breaded chicken or sausage type food with pasta and veg they have it at 4.30pm my 4yr old eats again when we get home so a snack and 9yr old has fruit before bed.

[willstarttomorrow]

OP most after school clubs and child minders provide a snack meal, such as you describe. It is how DD discovered she loves tomato soup. Your child minder is totally taking you for a ride here. You need to confront her but you also need to consider if she is any good. Professionally we employ good and outstanding child minders to have pre-school and potentially vulnerable children in their care whilst we work with parents to avoid care proceedings. Absoulutley no way would a child minder worth their registration do this. In fact I have the opposite problem, bloody amazing child minders suggesting they pick-up and drop off, be the ones communicate and just do more than they should when we are trying to assess the parents doing it!

[Paperyfish]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I think they all have a snack type tea. Maybe I’m the only one paying? I don’t know.
Our school doesn’t do one day dinners. You have them full time, or don’t. I think it’s because it’s quite a small school and they lunches aren’t done on site. You have to give a fortnights notice to change from one to other. Also, she wants lunch with her friends. The packed lunch crowd eat in a different room to the hot lunchers.
I suspect dd is happy with lunch snacky dinners as she’s keen to just get in with playing or whatever- but I do prefer her to have the proper tea.
She does like it there and I like that another girl from her class goes there and she’s made a New friend through this.
It’s £6 on top of the childminding fees - not £6 total for everything!
I’m going to speak to her and ask for change or just stop the dinners and I’ll do her dinner at home later.
Thanks!

[Dieu]

YADNBU!

[onemorerose]

Good decision @paperyfish. That amount of money for a snack is entirely unreasonable.