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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF vet???

244 replies

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 10:33

NC for this because it's very outing and I'd rather it didn't follow me around. For ease I'll refer to my friend as VF.

This is a bit awkward. One of my very, very good friends is a vet, she owns and runs two practices and has an impressive amount of qualifications; far more than your average vet. I'm not sure what they are, specialisms in some things.

I decided to move my pets to her practice because of the friendship, her expertise and I wasn't entirely happy with the old vet. She very kindly allowed my dd (12) to go and do a few hours of work experience, my animals have been well looked after whenever I've taken them. My kitten was neutered, vaccinated and chipped there, and they spotted and dealt with a potential abscess on his tail. All great.

I have an old lady cat, she's 14, still sprightly but had got very, very thin, was messing around the house and had moments of confusion. VF had been to my house a few times, cuddled the cat and I'd asked about what could be wrong with her. VF could feel a couple of thyroid lumps and suggested that she have an op to remove the thyroid gland. I booked her in and delivered her to the surgery. I didn't hear anything for a week or so, but didn't mind, I assumed VF was doing what needed to be done. I bumped into her in the pub a couple of days after that, and she tells me that the thyroid tests have come back as normal. She now suspects that it's lymphoma. She says the cat is too poorly to come home yet, she will discharge her soon.

Again, we hear nothing for a week or so. I ring the practice to ask about what's going on and I'm told "Oh, I'm not sure, it's VF dealing with this. Can I ask her to give you a ring?" No problem. However, no phone call either. Again, I bump into VF socially (lots of the same friends) and enquire about my cat. She doesn't have lymphoma now and is ready to come home. VF says something vague about the cat having a liver infection. Along the way I've asked her to keep an eye on the bill and tell me when it's gone over a certain amount (£600 quoted for thyroid op). If I ask her directly, she says "It's still in 3 figures."

Anyway (sorry, this is really long! Didn't want to dripfeed), I arranged to collect my cat yesterday and I am greeted with a bill of £1,250. I was absolutely gobsmacked. She's billed me for that huge amount, despite:

Cat didn;t have or need a thyroid op.

Cat didn't have lymphoma.

Cat has had no surgical procedures at all.

Cat has had a few blood tests and basically been left sitting there for three weeks, whilst I was under the impression that she was being treated for cancer!

I asked for a breakdown of the bill and was told they didn't have it ready but that they can post it to me.

Awkwardly, it was my friend doing the discharge and I didn't want to challenge her at the time, because I wasn't sure if the fee was a fair one, and I didn;t want to accuse her of something she hadn't done, so I paid the bill and left.

I came home to my partner (who is a GP) and he says that we've been taken for a ride by VF and he's furious about the bill. Now that I've had time to process it, I'm furious too.

But what should I do?? If I go back and complain it will make things very awkward between VF and I and I do genuinely like her. Or shall I just chalk it up to experience and move my pets elsewhere? I feel like I can't say nothing, but I also don;t want to overreact. Or have I done something wrong along the way which has allowed her to bill this much??

Opinions please :)

OP posts:
Mia1415 · 22/10/2019 14:17

@beveren

It says exactly that. From the original OP VF could feel a couple of thyroid lumps and suggested that she have an op to remove the thyroid gland. I booked her in and delivered her to the surgery.

In the update the OP says that she dropped her off for thyroid surgery.

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:17

@Bev - yes, she was booked in for the op. She went in on a Monday, VF said that she would have a couple of days of medication and then she would operate "Thursday or Friday". It was a foregone conclusion. She didn't mention testing first to see if there was a problem. And no, they didn't call me to tell me this.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 22/10/2019 14:18

The fact that the receptionists couldn’t give you any information is extremely dodgy just in and of itself.

Just because your friend has 2 surgeries doesn’t mean they’re well run.

Take your cat to another vet for a second opinion.

Get an itemised bill off your ‘friend’ ASAP.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/10/2019 14:18

I'm surprised they kept your cat in so long - when our cat had suspected thyroid problems, they took a blood test and she came home. We got the results a week later - i would have thought it would be the same with yours, and that even i a second blood test was required (for lymphoma) than the same would apply.

In me experience a lot of vets are CFs these days, because so many pets are insured - they think it's okay to bung every little burp and fart on the bill.

And also in my experience the animal owners who get most irate about the cost of drugs are doctors, because they know how much the drugs cost to buy in, and the huge mark up the vet puts on them. (I know your pet doesn't seem to have had any drugs, but you see what I mean).

Ask to speak to the vet. Tell her that she repeatedly told you that the bill was under your specifies threshold - and now this, which is twice as much! Check you haven't been mistakenly given someone else's bill.

Have you any proof of her assurances (eg e-mail)? Or of your £600 limit? If so, refuse to pay more than that.

NoSquirrels · 22/10/2019 14:20

Did you not think it was bloody odd to book your cat in for an operation based just on an examination at your home?

Usual practise would be vet examines, orders tests, discusses results of test with owner, decides on course of action.

If you’ve had a pet for 14 years you must have some vet experience?

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:21

VF spoke about the op. like it was a magic cure. She said that it would improve everything, she wouldn't be so skinny, she wouldn't mess, she'd feel so much better in herself. Not just once, but several times. I had no reason to question her apparent 'diagnosis'. It never occurred to me that VF would be wrong.

I don't know if she behaved inappropriately in giving me the thyroid diagnosis as a foregone conclusion, but that is most definitely what she did.

OP posts:
adaline · 22/10/2019 14:24

yes, she was booked in for the op. She went in on a Monday, VF said that she would have a couple of days of medication and then she would operate "Thursday or Friday". It was a foregone conclusion. She didn't mention testing first to see if there was a problem. And no, they didn't call me to tell me this.

Why couldn't the cat be prescribed medication for you to give her at home?

And what's with the vague date - surely your pet is booked in for surgery a set date/time?

I've left pets the night before surgery due to working hours/surgery opening times before, but I didn't drop them off until the last minute and picked them up as soon as I could the next day.

I just don't understand leaving your cat in the vet for weeks on end. It's all very weird.

DarlingNikita · 22/10/2019 14:25

And do they really purr to self heal and if they're nervous?? I never knew that. But a vet should, I agree with the pp. It's very worrying IMO.

what should I do? Leave it and not go back again? Question the bill and risk losing the friendship? What's the best approach?
You could leave it if you can afford to lose the money – although you might resent your friend over it and it could damage the friendship anyway/come out some time in the future, if you don't address it now.

You've asked for the bill breakdown, so she may well already know you're investigating. So in a sense you've nothing to lose. Get the bill, decide what you think and then if necessary question it politely.

Is your friend the top dog, as it were? or is there a senior partner or practice manager or anything? Might be less awkward if you had someone else you could deal with.

theoriginalmadambee · 22/10/2019 14:25

3 weeks in a cage equals weak muscles, of course your cat is not feeling well, behaving normal.

I usually try to say things nicely, but with your carelessness towards your cat, your vet friend should have charged you double 😡.

Does your dh have open consultations at the pub too, for those who CBA to visit relatives?

NoSquirrels · 22/10/2019 14:25

You really don’t have any choice but to speak to your VF about it. Not least because you still don’t know if your cat is OK.

Junkmail · 22/10/2019 14:25

I think you need to change vets—any vet I’ve been to it’s not up to the client to call. The vet calls you and updates at least daily. One of mine was kept for a week not that long ago (he has CKD and is unwell a lot) and they called twice a day to update so the fact that no one called you (imo) is negligent. I also think you got off very lightly with costs—my cat’s stay cost £1400 for the week and he didn’t have any surgical procedures, just tests, some medication and rehydration. I’m really confused as to why no one at the practise queried this and it took you bumping into the vet to learn what was going on. Very unprofessional. That and the fact that you got no indication of how the costs were adding up along the way is a sign that this isn’t as good a vet as you thought. It’s not all about how they treat the animals—they have a duty of care towards owners too.

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:25

@Nosquirrels - no I didn't think it was odd. I've had a lot of pets, but none with so serious a problem as this potentially could have been. I thought I was doing the right thing for her.

@SchadenfreudePersonified - I know I should have questioned the bill at the time, I was just so shocked. And they said that there wasn't a printout ready for me, they said they'd send it in the post. I'll give it a couple of days and then chase it if I haven't heard anything. I just paid the bill in full there and then because they wouldn't have let me take my cat home if I hadn't.

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 22/10/2019 14:26

VF spoke about the op. like it was a magic cure. She said that it would improve everything, she wouldn't be so skinny, she wouldn't mess, she'd feel so much better in herself. Not just once, but several times.
Sorry but she sounds like a charlatan, promising the earth.

NoSquirrels · 22/10/2019 14:28

I just paid the bill in full there and then because they wouldn't have let me take my cat home if I hadn't.

This isn’t how vets usually work. Not good ones.

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:29

@adaline - I appreciate it sounds weird, but she's a very good friend. So boundaries were blurred, somewhat. It wasn't a case of dumping my cat and pissing off; I knew what was wrong with her, I knew how she would be treated and why, and as I've said multiple times before, I trusted VF totally to act in her best interests. No, I didn't think it was strange at all.

OP posts:
adaline · 22/10/2019 14:29

And they said that there wasn't a printout ready for me, they said they'd send it in the post. I'll give it a couple of days and then chase it if I haven't heard anything. I just paid the bill in full there and then because they wouldn't have let me take my cat home if I hadn't.

What on earth?

You should never, ever pay a vets bill without seeing what you've been charged for. I've never picked up a vet from surgery without being given an itemised bill of every single cost, and the vet has also explained the reason for the costs/different medications.

You've been had. And I can't believe you just left your poor cat at the vet for three weeks and didn't bother to go down in person and insist on seeing her and making sure she was okay Hmm

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:30

Sorry, meant to say that I APPARENTLY knew what was wrong with her.

OP posts:
Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:31

Oh my God. I feel so stupid. I haven't seen a bill at all.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 22/10/2019 14:31

Don’t wait a few days - just call the surgery and ask them for the itemised bill. Say you’ll pop in to pick it up. Then you can ask questions on the spot.

adaline · 22/10/2019 14:31

So boundaries were blurred, somewhat. It wasn't a case of dumping my cat and pissing off

Of course it was. You left your 14yo cat at the vet and only bothered to get updates when you saw your friend on nights out/social occasions. I would have been down there insisting on seeing my cat and making sure she was okay!

You just left her there for three weeks and didn't think to query any of your friends' actions until the bill was higher than you thought it was going to be Hmm

CallipygousElephant · 22/10/2019 14:31

Have you considered that upon taking your cat in for investigation/confirmation (which it seems like VF did not get, instead original diagnosis was disproved - this is quite common, especially when initial diagnosis is made informally), VF was quickly horrified by your lack of communication?

I wouldn't let my pets go anywhere for treatment for 3 weeks without checking on them, phoning, agreeing to treatment etc etc. They're pets, not bloody laptops you send away for repair without a thought.

This is all SO bizarre, and I find it quite hard to express the level at which horrified by your inaction for 3 weeks while you DID NOT KNOW HOW YOUR CAT WAS.

Also, your GP DH does not know anything about veterinary diagnosis procedures, that's why they are separate 5 year degrees and why your DH isn't simply treating your animals himself with all his medical knowledge, HTH.

adaline · 22/10/2019 14:32

Don’t wait a few days - just call the surgery and ask them for the itemised bill. Say you’ll pop in to pick it up. Then you can ask questions on the spot.

Yep. Get down there today and don't leave until you've seen a bill. It should be on the system and they'll just need to print it off for you.

I bet you they don't have one.

CallipygousElephant · 22/10/2019 14:32

NOT that I am saying VF wasn't taking you for a ride, sounds very possible. But you are both coming off awfully here.

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 22/10/2019 14:37

One of our cats was in the vets for a few days earlier this year because they thought she had heart or lung disease. Luckily it was a chest infection and with lots of antibiotics and steroids she's fine now. That cost us (well, out insurer) over £1000. Our vet rang us at least twice a day to update us of her progress, how she'd been overnight, what the test results had shown, what they were going to do next, etc and the couple of occasions we rang them the receptionist put us through to a vet who could answer our questions. When we picked her up we had another long consultation about how she was, what medication we needed to give her and when and when they wanted to see her again. We also got an itemised bill without asking for it. I thought this was normal and other posters clearly experienced the same. I think you got 3 weeks worth of care very cheap even if there are no results at the end of it. If you still think there's something wrong with your cat then maybe try a different vet as I suspect this has probably irreparably damaged your friendship.
I also concur with others that purring isn't a good sign in a cat, especially if it's when she's on her own in a cage. It's a way of self-comforting and is something any vet worth their salt would know.

Jaxhog · 22/10/2019 14:40

You really don’t have any choice but to speak to your VF about it. Not least because you still don’t know if your cat is OK.

This. You currently have a huge bill and your cat is still sick. Do it today. If your VF kicks off, then she isn't much of a friend.