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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF vet???

244 replies

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 10:33

NC for this because it's very outing and I'd rather it didn't follow me around. For ease I'll refer to my friend as VF.

This is a bit awkward. One of my very, very good friends is a vet, she owns and runs two practices and has an impressive amount of qualifications; far more than your average vet. I'm not sure what they are, specialisms in some things.

I decided to move my pets to her practice because of the friendship, her expertise and I wasn't entirely happy with the old vet. She very kindly allowed my dd (12) to go and do a few hours of work experience, my animals have been well looked after whenever I've taken them. My kitten was neutered, vaccinated and chipped there, and they spotted and dealt with a potential abscess on his tail. All great.

I have an old lady cat, she's 14, still sprightly but had got very, very thin, was messing around the house and had moments of confusion. VF had been to my house a few times, cuddled the cat and I'd asked about what could be wrong with her. VF could feel a couple of thyroid lumps and suggested that she have an op to remove the thyroid gland. I booked her in and delivered her to the surgery. I didn't hear anything for a week or so, but didn't mind, I assumed VF was doing what needed to be done. I bumped into her in the pub a couple of days after that, and she tells me that the thyroid tests have come back as normal. She now suspects that it's lymphoma. She says the cat is too poorly to come home yet, she will discharge her soon.

Again, we hear nothing for a week or so. I ring the practice to ask about what's going on and I'm told "Oh, I'm not sure, it's VF dealing with this. Can I ask her to give you a ring?" No problem. However, no phone call either. Again, I bump into VF socially (lots of the same friends) and enquire about my cat. She doesn't have lymphoma now and is ready to come home. VF says something vague about the cat having a liver infection. Along the way I've asked her to keep an eye on the bill and tell me when it's gone over a certain amount (£600 quoted for thyroid op). If I ask her directly, she says "It's still in 3 figures."

Anyway (sorry, this is really long! Didn't want to dripfeed), I arranged to collect my cat yesterday and I am greeted with a bill of £1,250. I was absolutely gobsmacked. She's billed me for that huge amount, despite:

Cat didn;t have or need a thyroid op.

Cat didn't have lymphoma.

Cat has had no surgical procedures at all.

Cat has had a few blood tests and basically been left sitting there for three weeks, whilst I was under the impression that she was being treated for cancer!

I asked for a breakdown of the bill and was told they didn't have it ready but that they can post it to me.

Awkwardly, it was my friend doing the discharge and I didn't want to challenge her at the time, because I wasn't sure if the fee was a fair one, and I didn;t want to accuse her of something she hadn't done, so I paid the bill and left.

I came home to my partner (who is a GP) and he says that we've been taken for a ride by VF and he's furious about the bill. Now that I've had time to process it, I'm furious too.

But what should I do?? If I go back and complain it will make things very awkward between VF and I and I do genuinely like her. Or shall I just chalk it up to experience and move my pets elsewhere? I feel like I can't say nothing, but I also don;t want to overreact. Or have I done something wrong along the way which has allowed her to bill this much??

Opinions please :)

OP posts:
Sotoes · 22/10/2019 13:45

Bizarre behaviour all round. There must be a bit of the story missing somewhere, especially as the OP's nn would suggest she's prone to exaggerate slightly.

WagtailRobin · 22/10/2019 13:45

I hope your other half OP is more caring towards his GP patients than you appear to be towards your cat!

When one of my dogs had surgery I literally could not settle for the whole four days he was away, if I wasn't on the phone to the vet I was there in person.

diddl · 22/10/2019 13:45

Presumably vets are expensive as you are paying full price for what you get unless you have insurance.

I had a FB post come up where someone had been given the same/similar eyedrops as their dog & the dog's cost about 3X more.

Well yes, NHS subsidised yours!

TheNestedIf · 22/10/2019 13:47

Sorry Beveren but she does actually say she didn't check up on the cat for at least a week twice in the OP and there's an implication the cat was left a third week with minimal contact.

" I booked her in and delivered her to the surgery. I didn't hear anything for a week or so, but didn't mind, I assumed VF was doing what needed to be done. I bumped into her in the pub a couple of days after that"

"Again, we hear nothing for a week or so"

Boireannachlaidir · 22/10/2019 13:47

OP will probably be back to answer all these points once the twins have been collected from school by her and her GP husband. Be patient people.

TheNestedIf · 22/10/2019 13:48

Apologies for formatting fail.

Shannith · 22/10/2019 13:48

@TheNestedIf WinkGrin

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/10/2019 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FoxSquadKitten · 22/10/2019 13:49

GrinGrinGrinBoireannachlaidir

Shannith · 22/10/2019 13:50

Sorry, the WinkGrin was for @Boireannachlaidir but @TheNestedIf you can have them too

Lizzie0869 · 22/10/2019 13:50

I am quite surprised you don't have pet insurance? It's essential for when you have an elderly cat. You will be having further vet bills to pay, and you only have yourself to blame for that. With insurance, the excess I would have to pay for one of my 4 cats would be around £100.

Like other posters, I'm shocked that you didn't show more concern for your poor cat.

smoresmores · 22/10/2019 13:52

If this is true, I feel like there could be a similar post from the vet's side.

"CF friend abandoned cat with me. I'm going to have to bill her but feel awkward so have knocked it down. Now she's being off with me"

recrudescence · 22/10/2019 13:53

POI: several people have accused the OP of being disinterested. They mean uninterested.

TheNestedIf · 22/10/2019 13:55

Thangyouverymuch @Shannith Grin

cometothinkofit · 22/10/2019 13:58

We were presented with a bill for nearly £300 for 36 hours care and a dead guinea pig at the end of it.

It would be a lot cheaper if they didn't have to charge VAT on veterinary treatment.

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 13:58

Wow! So many replies.

To answer a couple of questions:

I mentioned that DP is a GP because he therefore has some understanding of how these problems are diagnosed and treated.

Secondly, I didn't ring up every day because I TOTALLY trusted my friend, who assured me that she was fine, they were treating her (initially for thyroid problems and subsequently lymphoma) and she would keep me abreast of any developments. And when I did ring the practice they couldn't tell me anything and referred me straight back to my friend.

I appreciate that I could have intervened a bit more, but I honestly trusted her judgement, that she was always acting in the best interests of my cat and she would get in touch with me if needed. She also mentioned each time we spoke that my cat was very happy, always purring and away and 'talking' and that two staff embers had fallen in love with her. I took that as reassurance at the time, but reading it back, it's a bit sycophantic isn't it?!?

I would actually say that my cat has come back WORSE, if anything. She's very lacklustre, not grooming herself and seems to want to lie down all the time; like her hind legs aren't working properly. I'm going to give her a couple of days to re-acclimatise to home and then see how she is from there.

OP posts:
adaline · 22/10/2019 14:04

Do you have any proof your cat received any treatment at all?

I think you made a huge mistake leaving her there - poor cat Sad

Vanhi · 22/10/2019 14:07

But, at the same time, what sort of vet books the cat in for an operation on its thyroid without doing any tests first, then thinks it's got cancer, then thinks it's got a liver infection, then sends it home with a relatively clean bill of health - all without calling the client to update her on the possible outcomes

This really. It sounds as if both the OP and the vet are rather remiss. I have to admit I speak as someone who not only phones up to check, but asks to speak to my animals down the phone though.

She also mentioned each time we spoke that my cat was very happy, always purring and away and 'talking'

A vet should know those aren't always good signs. Cats will purr to self heal and may also purr when nervous.

I would actually say that my cat has come back WORSE, if anything. She's very lacklustre, not grooming herself and seems to want to lie down all the time; like her hind legs aren't working properly

If you shut me in a cage for several weeks I'd come back lacklustre and with my legs not working properly too.

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:09

Oh, and definitely not a troll!!

I dropped her off 'for thyroid surgery' because that's what my friend suggested I do. Obviously she was going to run tests beforehand!

As I've already explained, every time myself and my friend had a conversation about the cat, I was reassured that she was happy, getting the right treatment and that she would let me know if there were any problems.

AND I TOTALLY TRUSTED HER. We've been friends for ages, she's known my cat for ages and I didn't feel the need to check up constantly. I didn't abandon my cat and swan off into the sunset not caring whether she was alive or dead, as far as I was concerned I had her admitted to one of the top UK vets (so VF tell me, I haven't checked the vet league tables, or whatever they are but there is no reason to lie to me) for the very best treatment for her.

My AIBU is because I feel like she's leeched out every last penny from us that she possibly can and it feels disingenuous. And now, what should I do? Leave it and not go back again? Question the bill and risk losing the friendship? What's the best approach?

OP posts:
Beveren · 22/10/2019 14:11

Beveren but the OP thought the cat was going to have surgery when she dropped her at the vets. The OP said that the vet suggested she had an operation to remove the thyroid glad and she was booked in for that.

It doesn't say that. The cat had to have thyroid tests first to decide whether surgery was necessary. Presumably if it became necessary the vet or a sidekick would have told her.

BeesKnees4 · 22/10/2019 14:13

£1200 for 3 weeks is cheap! You’re the one at fault here, nobody leaves a pet for weeks on end and doesn’t keep in touch, it’s just odd!! Don’t use your friends practice again.
Christ I hope your kids never have to stay in hospital!!!

Millionpoundvet · 22/10/2019 14:14

@vanhi, yes, that's what I immediately thought re. her legs.

And do they really purr to self heal and if they're nervous?? I never knew that.

Cat was admitted to have the op, but she also was going to have a few days of medication beforehand to prepare her. I'm unclear whether this happened. I assumed this was normal practice because I've never had an animal this ill before and I trusted the experts.

OP posts:
Beveren · 22/10/2019 14:16

Sorry Beveren but she does actually say she didn't check up on the cat for at least a week twice in the OP and there's an implication the cat was left a third week with minimal contact.

"I booked her in and delivered her to the surgery. I didn't hear anything for a week or so, but didn't mind, I assumed VF was doing what needed to be done. I bumped into her in the pub a couple of days after that"

"Again, we hear nothing for a week or so"

That makes two weeks. Where are you getting the third week from?

Gonetoget · 22/10/2019 14:17

It’s the ‘friendship’ that blurred the boundaries. I can kinda get why you’ve sat back, but you need to reassert the patient/ professional dynamic. Take the lesson, don’t mix ‘business’ and pleasure again. I’m sure your doctor husband doesn’t treat his friends And now you can understand why.

BlackCatSleeping · 22/10/2019 14:17

I don't think it's a huge amount of money for tests and overnight stays. It seems pretty standard. Vets are bloody expensive. I ave a cat who gets sick a lot.

Why don't you have a chat with her about the itemised bill and exactly what your cat went through?