When I was young I saw that my father forced my mother to work when it wasn’t usual for mothers of small children to do so and, what is more, made her pay bills while his money was saved. He once bought a small cottage for cash he has so much put by. He was stingy and kept everyone short. When they divorced he tricked her into having a one off payment in lieu of proper maintenance and she ran through it in a moment and then hand two jobs to keep her two children.
I vowed never to marry or be exploited financially by a man like mum had been but met a decent man and we married and pooled our finances. It has worked very well for us as we trust each other. Whenever the DH strayed into ‘the money I earn’ territory I put him right immediately about it being our money. To keep independent I worked full time teaching for 34 years ( a killer) and, while I earned less than him, it was my sacrifices on the child, home, garden, decorating and maintenance front that allowed him to pursue a lucrative career.
At the very least, OP, you should share the childcare costs equally. And cost your domestic contributions to the family. If you had to pay others to do what you do ( with tax add ons ) you would be swallowing up ‘his’ £1200 odd ‘ pocket money’ a month. You are being economically exploited. However, you do need to be mature about how money is spent. I never, ever wasted family cash on ‘girly’ trash like nails, beauty treatments, spa days or ephemera like that. I had my hair cut, yes, and a cleaner, but then, so did he and the cleaner was for the house, not me. For his part, my DH never wasted money on lads’ days out or football or expensive hobbies.
I suppose it all comes down to trust in the end - but a serious readjustment needs to be made now if it is not too late.