An old friend becoming DC's teacher

[EthicalEni]

Hello,

I have a weird dilemma here.
I have an old friend (know her for 15+ years), and had just received a letter from the after-school club my children are attending with the introduction of a new instructor for their group for the next half term. And yes, it is her.

I was surprised that I had quite an adverse initial reaction to it. It is her first job ever (she's been a SAHM since graduating), and I had never heard about her having an interest or any involvement in this topic before, even as a hobby (it is quite niche / specialised, let's say chess, but at the primary school age appropriate level). The club is a bit on the expensive side (I pay close to £50 for two for a 40 mins session), and now I am asking myself whether I'd paid her that for a 1-to-2 private tutoring in the subject and the answer is a clear no. I am also a little bit uncertain about her being in a position of authority over me in some way (she does not approve of many of my life and especially parenting choices, we learned by now to leave these topics silent in our friendship, but not sure if a formal teacher-parent relationship is going to help).

AIBU to consider cancelling the club? Or am I greatly overestimating how qualified instructors for 7-8 years old usually are?

Cancel the club.

I would not want someone who had judged me having influence over my child. I would find alternative provision.

It’s too expensive.
She thinks there is a link between vaccination and ASD?

OP quite simply I would cancel - paying that for 40 minutes with a non-expert really is taking the piss. What it sounds as if she will be doing, if you know this is not her area, is supervising the kids using this nice specialised equipment but not actually teaching much. Which is a total rip -off.

I am vaccinating and one of mine possibly has mild ASD (under assessment now). There was a period of time last year she could not help stop mentioning "well I told you" and we fell apart for some time.

Christ, no way would I be friends with someone after that.

On the specific issue: can she code and does she understand robotics? If so then the price is reasonable given the equipment cost and expertise required.

It sounds to me like you have (rightly) concluded she's an imbicile, and are wondering why you pay so much for a club which hires unqualified randomers.

Sorry, 40 minutes? £50?

A no brainer. It's a no at that age especially. Not worth it even with an amazing teacher, by the time it is relevant to them it will have all changed.

Do you have CoderDojo in your area?

coderdojo.com/

or actually DD3 is obsessed with Minecraft atm. I bought her a book for under £10 and she does it unaided on her PC after her older sister set her up.

Bear in mind that whatever tech a 7 year old learns will be obsolete by the time they leave school.

Sorry I can't get beyond you pay £25 for a 40 minutes session of something......I paid slightly more for small group tutoring - but the tutor was a trained teacher who had been doing it for years and had a track record. Are you suggesting your friend isn't trained in the task? I'm thinking music lesson where your friend doesn't play the instrument.....If so I would be asking the organisers what qualifications the new tutor has. If I've misunderstood and you £25 per half term for a 40 minute session - then you are being unreasonable - she's probably learning as she goes along.

Where did I say it was 'against the law'? YY seaweed you can charge 1,000 an hour, well said, and?

I hate AIBU sometimes, full of such ridiculous comments.

BillieEilish

My point is she isn’t doing anything wrong, no matter how underqualified she might be. The OP doesn’t have to use the service.

You're being odd about what is basically a primary level after school club (I don't have any science training beyond gcse but could likely lead a primary level robotics course with the right materials) . What's your background with this person? There's obviously unresolved tension.

Ah just read the whole thread and anti vaccine remarks - of course you want to keep your kids away from that kind of idiocy. Understandable. But let's be honesty, there are daft people everywhere and your kids need to learn to get on with everyone even where your views differ so this is a great chance to set that example for them!

Op not sure why you're being deliberately vague. This is a pretty niche scenario as it is. Just tell us what it is so we can have a better understanding. I'm so confused trying to put myself in your position. Also a change of tutor after a couple of sessions seems strange. Especially when you're paying£25 per child. It's not swimming is it?

I don't have any science training beyond gcse but could likely lead a primary level robotics course with the right materials

I have a science degree, over a decade of teaching experience and s little robotics experience and I would not do that in a paid role.

Unless you can code and have built robots before you are essentially having a bash by reading instructions. Fine for a free club but not for £37 per hour per child.

@howabout

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll take a look. There seems to be one not far away.
I am aware about the tech getting antiquated very quickly, I am in software development myself. They do learn specific platforms in older age groups (Python, I think), but at this stage it is more about algorithms / structured thinking / basic mechanics.

That's the problem, 'I speak a bit of French' 'I got GCSE Science' 'I like painting' 'I got grade 5 piano'

No, you can't be a qualified after school teacher in a group session commanding 25 per pupil for 40 minutes. 10 minutes of that, guaranteed, is getting children ready to start or leave the class.

1/2 hours tuition at most.

No, it is not illegal

This all sounds bonkers OP. My kids have attended coding classes for free and the facilitators are college lecturers with PhDs and college students studying computing. Sports my kids attend have parents who played the sports for years and years as facilitators.

The only things our kids attend now where training might be an issue is a type of guides/scouts club and even they offer significant training to leaders.

We pay for music lessons for our kids at the type of prices you are saying and the teachers are not “formally” qualified but they are some of the best musicians I have ever heard and work professionally as musicians as well as teaching. There is no way I would be forking our the kind of money you are suggesting with out some one adequately trained or even self trained with a significant interest in the discipline.

Also as a mother of a child with ASD I simply would not have maintained a friendship after the vaccination/ASD comment. That was horrendous.

Op not sure why you're being deliberately vague. This is a pretty niche scenario as it is. Just tell us what it is so we can have a better understanding.

It's a good job you RTFT before moaning at the OP. If they had already answered this question and it was referred to many times you'd look a right numpty.

I used to work for a large UK outdoor activity company that many people here will have paid extortionate amounts of money to send their children to. For most activities the training was three hours followed by a quick assessment to check you’d got the gist. For high ropes activities, it was 2 days (having started with no experience whatsoever). At least it was an external assessment for those.

Yes, you are overestimating the amount of training that people running these activities get.

At most clubs they dont have to be an ex professional/expert it's more about enthusiasm and how they teach/coach. But most clubs are £5 or so per session.

For £50 for 2 per session is ridiculous unless it is one to one tuition and still I would expect relevant experience.

We pay for music lessons for our kids at the type of prices you are saying and the teachers are not “formally” qualified but they are some of the best musicians I have ever heard and work professionally as musicians as well as teaching.
The previous instructor was absolutely brilliant, with great industry track and credentials (to the point that I was wondering what's in it for them, as certainly their professional time is worth more than whatever they are being paid to run this class). Maybe that had set my expectations unrealistically high.

Hi OP,
To me the issue isn’t your friends lack of qualification in itself but the massive price that you are paying for the tuition.

My son has a one hour piano lesson each week. It is a one on one lesson with a teacher for whom performing and teaching the piano is his life, and on a very (very) expensive piano belonging to the teacher, and it costs £30 an hour. He also goes to Stage Coach with 3 hours of singing/drama/dance with teachers that have backgrounds in their specialisms and it costs around £35 a week.

Let’s say the subject was chess and it is for a group of 5 or six children. I would expect to pay up to around £6 each child for 40 mins with someone whose experience was a week learning chess online /through apps in order to take the class. To pay £25 per child (£150 for a group lesson of 6 kids) I would expect someone that ranked on the world chess scene - and only worth paying this if the children were already pretty competent players.

@Jas1985
Wow, I had no idea. We went to one of those activities and all instructors looked super confident and professional. I guess there might be a bit of an outsider bias.

We have various after school clubs at the school I teach at, all run by outside groups.

Some are amazing...and some, I cannot believe parents pay money to send their kids there....the kids enjoy them because they are RUNNING RIOT for the hapless and untrained instructors, I imagine if parents saw the quality of learning in some of them, they’d think twice.

I think I'd contact the friend and say something like 'Gosh, I've just seen that you will be leading the coding/robotics club from now on. I hadn't realised that you were interested in that area' and see how she responds.

I might also check the website of the organisation that runs the clubs, to see what it says about the the qualifications/expertise of their staff. I agree with others that, at the cost of the club, I'd expect experts.

@EthicalEni You need to separate out your personal feelings and emotions re the 'friend' and the value of what your children are getting from this class.

I know the tutoring industry inside out having tutored alongside a teaching role, for years.

I had 30+ years of experience and fees were based on that.

HOWEVER there were many centres being set up (won't name them all but they include Kumon and McGrath) where the 'teachers' were NOT teachers at all.

They could be 6th formers or anyone who they felt was able to teach primary literacy. I personally knew a girl of 18 who 'taught' 3 x a week at one of these centres, teaching maths and literacy.

The fee to the parents was not as much as my 1:1 but it was far higher than it ought to have been for the quality of the teaching as it was a business, they rented premises and had bought IT equipment.

The tutors however were teaching from a script. ALL my lessons for 1:1 were prepared for each student, using my 30 years' experience, I had to make and photocopy/ print worksheets, keep notes on progress etc.

All your children are getting is someone following a script.

It's far too ££.

You never really mention the kids in your OP it is all about you and her. Presumably your children asked to do this and enjoy it. It would be a shame to let this get in the way of an activity they have an interest in.