Horror Movie at 9yr Olds Birthday Party?!

[FixItUpChappie]

Just wondering if I've handled this alright.....

My just turned 9yr old headed to friend birthday party tonight. Just prior to the party another parent told me their son wasn't going because he had told his mum they would be watching the horror movie "Slender Man". - which I think is 18+ in the UK.

So I asked the dad at drop off if this was true as I would pick our son up prior to if that was the case....nope he says, no worries - his son told kids that but he hadn't passed it by his parents. Not to worry he said.

Got a text 1hr later saying that all the other 7 kids were disappointed they couldn't watch the horror movie so he was going to put it on, so I could come pick son up. Which I did.

I was clearly annoyed when I picked son up. Told the dad I wish we had known in advance because we would have just declined the invitation and pointed out it put our son in a very awkward, difficult position.

Son crying second he hit the car not understanding why they didn't just watch a different movie instead of putting something in which meant he had to go home . Good point IMO.

I took my son for ice cream and had a heart to heart about how he may be upset but his father and I will prioritize our values and beliefs about what is best for him because he is our greatest love and responsibility. He seems hurt and confused.

Am fucking fuming with this dad and my kid will never go over there again not just because of the movie but to single out one child and choose a movie over their feeling well he can fuck right off - am I totally unreasonable in this thinking? Am I in la la land thinking horror movies for 9yr olds is not a typical thing and other parents are going to be unpleasantly surprised? What would you lot have done?

I'd have done exactly what you did and I suspect he will have more parental complaint once they all go home and tell their parents what they watched.

Appallingly ill-judged decision, completely irresponsible and indulgent, and rude to your son.

Ridiculous! Your poor son. I'm pretty relaxed about films a little above age limit at sleepovers (I remember watching Scream at a sleepover and my friend's dad terrifying our group of 13-year-old girls by creeping outside and banging on the window ) but nine-year-olds watching a 15 or 18 rated horror is too much. And to carry on doing so when it means someone who was invited has to leave is just rotten.

Also he was BVU as I just looked it up and it has awful reviews. If you're going to show an inappropriate film to kids, at least choose a decent ones.

He sounds like a complete twat and I’d be furious.

It’s not that big of a deal if the other parents were okay with the movie being watched. I wouldn’t expect 7 kids including the birthday boy to miss out just so one child didn’t have to go home - IF and only if the other parents had said it was okay. 9 is too young for a movie like that but if the other parents consented then I can see why the dad put the movie on rather than spoil his sons sleepover.

Dad did not ask anyone - did not ask me. I only found out because another child mentioned to his mum it being discussed at school. I'm curious to know if the other parents were impressed

I've just googled and the bbfc rate it as a 15 but some American sites list it as a PG13, which is suitable for anyone under 13 under adult supervision. I wonder whether the dad looked at a US site. Either way, a scary movie isn't appropriate at all and he can't possibly know that every child present, or their parents, will be ok with it.

No one should be missing out because it is 18's they shouldn't be watching it.
Were all the other parents aware of the plan, as you only heard through another pal last minute?
I'd be angry with the father too.

9 year olds watching an 18 movie is not acceptable, I don’t believe 7 other sets of parents agreed to this. I think this Dad will have quite a bit of fallout from this. I wonder what the birthday boy’s mother made of it?

God the more I think about this the more annoyed I get on your behalf. I'd be bloody fuming if this was my DD. Even if I did think it was OK she watched the film, I'd be really unhappy if doing so isolated another child who had been invited and who then had to be picked up from a party where all their friends were. It's just utterly rude and ridiculous behaviour. Being someone's birthday doesn't mean they get to show no manners or be pandered to to the extent it hurts other people.

Slender man is only a 15 cert. But still no way should 9 year olds be watching it

Also it sounds like they are 'just' turned 9, not 9 going on 10, so some of them might even be 8 still? I hope your DS is OK. Is he pals with the other boy who ended up not going? Maybe they could do something nice together like a cinema trip to make up for it.

Sounds awful! I bet half of the other kids were just braving it out to look cool! But well done to your DS for saying he wasn't watching it!

I was at a sleepover when I was about 10 and the birthday girl put on IT. I managed to get through part of it before I pretended to feel ill and called my mum to pick me up! She said I didn't sleep properly for ages afterwards.

Some parents seem to want to be the "cool older friend" rather than a parent and will allow anything. Feel sorry for their son I'd still be raging with the dad though

That's true celebelly - my son just turned 9 two weeks ago, his friends b-days have been dotted over the last month so some of the kids may still be 8yr range.

My son is happy to watch cartoons so I really can't relate to the desire to show them this type of material....a movie that according to google is about a faceless evil creep that murders children

My son would have been happy to watch it lol! My husband and I have put our foot down

A 9 year old shouldn't be watching an 18 film!

I think you made the right decision. And going forward the right decision too - about him not going there - although I'm sort of impressed the dad called you and didn't just say "Oh the boys put it on before I realised" followed by a cheeky smile. I wasn't expecting that to happen in this incident. Obviously deciding to send a child home rather than watch one if literally a million other suitable movies was utterly a shit decision.

I would prep your DS for school though. Let him know that sometimes kids can say stupid things about movies being amazing but actually they were quite afraid and don't want to let others know that. Something to prep him in case they're dicks on Monday about him leaving.

This is the character that was linked to a stabbing case in 2014. A girl was stabbed multiple times by two other girls who were besotted by the Slenderman character.
Good call OP, unfortunately it will be the first of many as you parent your child.

I would be less than impressed too. Isn't slender man the urban myth that's terrified children? My son is only 7, but I know that he'd be scared still at 8/9. I bet there will be more pissed parents

My 9 year old watches Pokemon, why the need for horror!

I would have checked with parents before putting on a Star Wars or Avengers movie at a 9th birthday party - those are much more appropriate for this age.

The dad is a dick and my kid would not be going there again.

My child had nightmares for weeks after some kids in the playground told him about Slender Man when he was 6. I don't know the movie but good call by you.

What sort of father thinks it’s ok to show a 15 movie to a group of 9yo without their parents’ permission? What a dick. There are tonnes of other movies they could have watched.

You definitely did the right thing! And it's good you found out before he went.

I've just read the plot and although it looks like a terrible film it sounds bloody scary! I wouldn't sleep after watching it now. Let alone if I was 9!

I'm imagining the other parents are not going to be impressed.

YANBU to have collected your son.

But you should have properly checked out the film. It is not an 18. It is a 15. And most (not all) of the common sense reviews suggest it is suitable from around about age 13.

I would not have let my just 9 year old watch this film either, but I do think that should such a situation ever arise again you should check the film out before you swoop in. Getting the certificate right is fairly fundamental. The content of 18 films is very very different from that even of 15 films and some of the outrage you feel has no doubt been stirred up by thinking he was showing an 18 film to 8 and 9 year olds.

I would have done the same. It’s the fact that he said he wouldn’t show it and your child went and then changed his mind. He should have made the decision before party and stuck to it. Slender man is a really crap movie anyway. I could barely get to the end of it as it was so bad.
My DC watch a lot of movies. They watch most 12s when they are under 12 but we either watch them first or check the reviews as to whats in the movie that makes it a higher rating. I wouldn’t let them watch a 15. When other kids come over I am mindful of what the other kids parents would want them to watch or play. I wouldn’t show a 12 without checking it was ok with them first.

My 10 year old daughter would have had nightmares for days if she'd watched that. You made the right decision, I would have done the same. Very poor judgment from that parent. I wonder what the other parents thought.