Horror Movie at 9yr Olds Birthday Party?!

[FixItUpChappie]

Just wondering if I've handled this alright.....

My just turned 9yr old headed to friend birthday party tonight. Just prior to the party another parent told me their son wasn't going because he had told his mum they would be watching the horror movie "Slender Man". - which I think is 18+ in the UK.

So I asked the dad at drop off if this was true as I would pick our son up prior to if that was the case....nope he says, no worries - his son told kids that but he hadn't passed it by his parents. Not to worry he said.

Got a text 1hr later saying that all the other 7 kids were disappointed they couldn't watch the horror movie so he was going to put it on, so I could come pick son up. Which I did.

I was clearly annoyed when I picked son up. Told the dad I wish we had known in advance because we would have just declined the invitation and pointed out it put our son in a very awkward, difficult position.

Son crying second he hit the car not understanding why they didn't just watch a different movie instead of putting something in which meant he had to go home . Good point IMO.

I took my son for ice cream and had a heart to heart about how he may be upset but his father and I will prioritize our values and beliefs about what is best for him because he is our greatest love and responsibility. He seems hurt and confused.

Am fucking fuming with this dad and my kid will never go over there again not just because of the movie but to single out one child and choose a movie over their feeling well he can fuck right off - am I totally unreasonable in this thinking? Am I in la la land thinking horror movies for 9yr olds is not a typical thing and other parents are going to be unpleasantly surprised? What would you lot have done?

Thanks everyone - sorry I'm in a different time zone so I just woke up.

I'm still upset tbh. Just how it all played out......basically the kid who my son idolizes (much to my chagrin) has shown he'd rather have some shit horror movie at his party than his friend - all supported by his fucker of a father. That seems to be my sons take-away.

Yes, the child has a mother - she wasn't there. It was the dad and the paternal grandfather that were hosting. Kids mom seems permissive type but I don't think she would have put the movie in at expense of one child needing to go home, but who knows - I wouldn't have thought the dad would have done that either tbh.

It was a sleepover invite but because we've had some other concerns about the parents we told our son he could go for the party not the sleepover. I'm aware only 2 of the boys were sleeping over which is a bit interesting.

I did ask my son if the boys were jerks about him having to go home and he said no and I just pray it stays that way and it's water under the bridge Monday. This relationship between our kids has been a real challenge for us - we find the kids parents questionable, we constantly try to get their son to come to our house, we are super friendly but also constantly "busy" - the parents have been very persistent though. What a minefield all this shit is! Our son just went to a birthday party 4 weeks ago where the kids played Halo the whole time. I just don't get it.

I know of each kid at the party they are all from my sons class which has pretty much the same 20 boys traveling along from grade to grade. My son is friendly I understand with all of them save 1 or 2, and 3 of them were at our sons own daytime party 2 weeks ago but they aren't his usual group of mates aside from the birthday boy. This group doesn't go to our sons after-school care either so I don't know the other parents or run into them casually. Gawd I'd love to talk to them though.....

It's a 15. Some of my eldest childs friends have watched it (last year of primary school). I wouldnt let mine watch it until in seco dary school at least as dont need to be kept up with them having nightmares

I love horror films. However, I'm not going to allow my DC to watch them early just so I can say they are a chip off the old block.

Op have you asked the other parents if they knew the boys would be watching it? I know you said the dad said at the start it wouldn't be shown etc but have you asked them today if they knew?

No hardy, I really don't know the parents though I have 3 of the boys contact info.....it seems the boys talked about it amongst themselves at school so they would only know if their sons told them, which they may have I dont know. My son told me they were going to watch "Spider-Man"

Yanbu - it's incredibly rude hosting even from an 'excluding a guest and making them feel shit' point of you, let alone the inappropriate film rating. Your son just didn't be made to feel like that if the dad had behaved like an adult and hImself said no to the film. Awful to have to go and get him but better than the alternative, I suppose. I still remember being made to watch IT at a party, unplanned, and being terrified and wanting to go home but not daring to speak up.
As MiddleClass said it's not just about being able tolerate a bit of gore and blood, there's so much more emotional aspect involved. Maybe you dont think it'll have an affect but it all depends on context. I Just do not understand this race by parents atm to see films underage then using it almost as bragging rights or a badge of honour of 'bravery', pretty odd message to be giving kids.

What a shit dad. 1) for putting that movie on 2) for not running by all the parents first 3) for assuring you they wouldn't watch it and 4) for not having the balls or parenting skills to put on an appropriate dvd and going back on his assurances.

I'd be fuming if i was the other parents. Just because the dad can't parent and wants to play Disney dad.