Drinking drugs and smoking whilst being pregnant?

[pennygirl26]

I know someone who is due her baby in Dec. She only found out a few weeks ago she is pregnant.

She had very openly continued to smoke cigarettes and joints,but has been drinking also saying its not anything worse than what she's done in the past 6 months. She's also still taking coke every now and again. What can I do about this? I feel sick every time I see her. The other night I caught her buying a half bottle. It's just so dicgusting I don't know who to go to as I don't want her to know its me.

Ok I get that tequila. I don't like it either. Now what do you think would happen if we decided that pregnant women didnt have the right to consume what they chose?

sesame I understand it's the thin end of the wedge. I honestly under the implications for pregnant women.

But those children are going to suffer, for life, because of what has been done to them.

Do we just accept that as collateral damage in the protection of women's rights?

“Do we just accept that as collateral damage in the protection of women's rights?”

Yes

Do we just accept that as collateral damage in the protection of women's rights

Yes.

Actually in shock at how many people are defending this creature.
Yes it maybe a bit handmaids tale but very few women are as stupid/selfish/weak as the op are describing that drastic action should be taken.
Poor fucking kid having to live life with whatever consequences come from having the misfortune to be conceived to an utter cunt.

Passthecherrycoke. HauntedPinecone

Sorry, that's disgusting.

At the very least why aren't you saying we need to look at ways to help women with addictions, not just "yes, so what if babies are born with lifelong disabilities"

Maybe these children should be helped to sue their mothers for the cost of the lifelong disabilities they will face?

We do help women with addictions. What would be the point in the children suing them? You reckon they’re going to have any money?

What would be the point in the children suing them? You reckon they’re going to have any money?

I don't know but any that they do have should go to compensating the child they damaged through their actions.

No one should have the right to cause such injuries to another human being.

Can’t you see what a total and utter waste of time, money and court resources trying to sue a heroin addict or chronic alcoholic would be? What’s the point in banding around non solutions? Your outrage is clouding your ability to think about whether these measures are actually useful for anything apart from making a vulnerable woman’s life harder.

Your outrage is clouding your ability to think about whether these measures are actually useful for anything apart from making a vulnerable woman’s life harder.

And your insistence on protecting these women appears to be making vulnerable children's lives harder but you don't seem to care about them.

What happens to these children during their lifetime?

What children? The OPs example is a light one to be fair- someone she barely seems to know occasionally taking coke, smoking and drinking 1/4 bottle of wine a day. The chances are very high that that child will be undamaged, taking it at face value.

But let’s look at the extreme- child of a heroin addict? A chronic alcoholic? I hope that out social services system assess those children in danger, removes them from their care and of course provides them with the medical care they need.

What else is there that could be done? You will never stop women taking drugs or drinking alcohol/ smoking in pregnancy. It’s impossible.

A child with FAS - what is their lifetime prognosis?

What effects does that have on them over their lifetime?

What medical care will help them?
And how does the care system help them?

Report. She cannot be forced to stop taking what she is taking, because she has the right to bodily autonomy. But the baby is likely to need help. Which is more likely to be well planned and appropriate if the services involved have warning.

I’m not sure what you mean Tequila- do you want me to google the effects of FAS?

TweetingMagpie not what I meant. I meant why do some people think that as soon as a woman becomes pregnant she is relegated to the role of waking womb and that her rights as a human should alter. Hence at the beginning of pregnancy a future baby is a cluster of cells. I was commenting on some of the views espoused on the thread not this particular pregnancy.

I too would report to social services but not in some attempt to censure the mother, but in the hope she would get the help she needs.

I’m not sure what you mean Tequila- do you want me to google the effects of FAS?

Well, if you don't know what they are then, yes, I think you should.

You're arguing that women have bodily autonomy to cause lifelong disability to a child so.i think it's right that we actually focus on the innocent victim - the child - rather than the person, who as you point out, has autonomy and therefore choice.

I think it's only right that we acknowledge the damage that is done to these children.

FAS is awful. No one is saying that it isn’t.

I think people should acknowledge that though rather than just "yeah, but women's rights..."

I’m aware of FAS and it’s effects.

You won’t be able to stop pregnant women drinking- ever- and as I’ve stated, you can’t legislate against it because you would be taking away the woman’s bodily autonomy. And no one wants to live in a world where we don’t have bodily autonomy, do they?

Maybe we need to be centering these children in our discussion then as they are the innocent victims here, who didn't have autonomy but will be forced to live with the effects of it?

The people who are so keen to fight for the women's rights - are they fighting equally hard for the rights of these children throughout their lives to get the love and care that they will need? The education and support that they will need? Where do they end up once in the care system?

You can't just fight for the rights of women to cause harm to these babies and then not care what happens to the children.

I work with disabled children. That good enough for you tequila?

No. It's not just about you, but society as a whole.

What becomes of these children?

Removed into the care system and then what?

What do their lives look like going through school, getting jobs, growing into adulthood?

Who supports them as adults?

That's the tragedy in this.

Maybe these children should be helped to sue their mothers for the cost of the lifelong disabilities they will face?

An interesting point. Do you think the right to sue should be extended to women who conceive or continue a pregnancy knowing full well the child will be born with lifelong disabilities?

For example, would you say that a couple who conceive knowing that the child will be affected by Tay-Sachs should be sued on behalf of the child? A woman who decides to continue a pregnancy after finding out the child has Downs - should she be sued? It wouldn't be factually incorrect to say that such children are brought into the world with their parents knowing full well they will have disabilities - by your logic, Tequila, they should be sued.

Or is it only women who smoke, drink or take illegal drugs who should be sued?

Everyone has acknowledged that FAS is bad, and has an impact on the children for their lives. I don’t know what you’re expecting as an answer. Constantly repeating “won’t somebody think of the children” doesn’t change anything.

Everyone wants women to make better choices so no child is born with FAS. Everybody. It’s whether taking away a woman’s right to decide what she does with her own body that’s the sticking point.

Yes OP, you should report her.

It might turn out they offer her some help, it might highlight her so the hospital are aware of her situation when/ if she goes in to have the baby and it will flag her to SS.

It's a disgusting situation for the unborn child.