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Original poster

Drinking drugs and smoking whilst being pregnant?

454 replies

pennygirl26 · 19/10/2019 13:11

I know someone who is due her baby in Dec. She only found out a few weeks ago she is pregnant.

She had very openly continued to smoke cigarettes and joints,but has been drinking also saying its not anything worse than what she's done in the past 6 months. She's also still taking coke every now and again. What can I do about this? I feel sick every time I see her. The other night I caught her buying a half bottle. It's just so dicgusting I don't know who to go to as I don't want her to know its me.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 20/10/2019 09:32

^^ me too.

VictoriaBun · 20/10/2019 09:32

You say it's not the first time she's found out she's expecting late on.
I'd suggest she knows early, but chooses to ignore so she can carry on her lifestyle .

PotteringAlong · 20/10/2019 09:32

That was for the caring about legal rights.

TrexDrip · 20/10/2019 09:35

Report report report !
Foetal alcohol syndrome is a high possibility and drug withdrawal for the poor child when it’s born.
High chance of the baby being taken into care if she doesn’t change her ways.
SS will do hair strand tests and gather evidence.
When we adopted our children the paediatrician said that there were no long term studies on cannabis but out of drugs and alcohol, alcohol is by far the worst in most cases.

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2019 09:35

Well you must be a very compassionate person

Yes, I am actually. I have compassion for women who find themselves in difficult situation.

You think that means it's OK for this baby to be subject to the drugs and god knows what else from this 'mother'

How exactly will you stop the mother from smoking and drinking? Those are both legal activities.

As I have said several times, it would be better if she stopped. I have a huge issue with how that would be enforced.

Presumably you’re pro life?

Meganc559 · 20/10/2019 09:35

This reply has been deleted

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Seaandsand83 · 20/10/2019 09:35

Absolutely report to SS!! You have a duty of care now that you are aware of the situation. This baby doesn't have a voice but you do. Please do the right thing and report her!!!

Meganc559 · 20/10/2019 09:36

Yes I am pro life, I think it should be illegal for pregnant women to drink and smoke.
As a mother myself I just can't get my head around a women not wanting to do the best for her unborn child

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2019 09:37

The alternative would not be to murder the baby, an abortion is killing the baby, she shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place

Her not getting pregnant in the first place isn’t an option in this situation.

What’s your plan? It her in prison?

ChilledBee · 20/10/2019 09:37

Pregnancy is a bad time for behaviours change. I feel sorry for her. Seems like she has a chaotic lifestyle.

Meganc559 · 20/10/2019 09:40

Prison would be too much of an impact on her stress levels but there should be facilities for women with these problems to get off the alcohol and drugs but that not hard to do by yourself if you actually cared

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2019 09:42

And if she doesn’t want to go to one of these “facilities”? How much does she need to be smoking and/or drinking? Is one cigarette a day bad enough? What about five?

but that not hard to do by yourself if you actually cared

This is utter nonsense.

DragonontheWagon · 20/10/2019 09:43

Aah women judging other women is just the way I like to start my Sunday.

The poor woman can't go back and become unpregnant so how about seeing this through her eyes, I can't even imagine what would be going through my head if this were me.

Try supporting her rather than flipping judging her because whilst not idea smoking and drinking, any damage to the foetus is already done when she didn't know she was pregnant

quincejamplease · 20/10/2019 09:43

Meganc559 you don't have a clue what the fuck you're talking about.

GinUnicorn · 20/10/2019 09:45

* I think it should be illegal for pregnant women to drink and smoke.*

I totally disagree with this. Pregnant women aren’t incubators. Yes offer education and support to make the right choices but we don’t lose our ability to choose once we conceive. I’m pregnant and I might have a small glass of something very occasionally. (I haven’t because with sickness it’s the last thing I feel like) but this would be my informed choice.

If a mother struggles to stop smoking she needs support not prosecution.

JorisBonson · 20/10/2019 09:46

Report. If she didn't know she was pregnant that can't be undone, but carrying on with that lifestyle while knowingly pregnant is disgusting.

Tweetingmagpie · 20/10/2019 09:48

I think you should report her but I’m not sure why good it would do really.

I don’t give a shit about the law, what she’s doing is disgusting, at that stage it’s a baby in there, a baby that could live if it was born now Sad

Meganc559 · 20/10/2019 09:48

None, would obviously be the best

I did all of the above before I found out I was pregnant, but as soon as I knew I stopped everything cold turkey, it not hard if you really want to

Tweetingmagpie · 20/10/2019 09:49

In threads like this I get the feeling the women saying things like she needs support and she is struggling, have never met the kind of people that do this blind of thing because they want to, they havent tried to stop, they just can’t be bothered.

Applesanbananas · 20/10/2019 09:49

Nothing. It's her body

Most useless advice ever. And so the baby means nothing. Pathetic.

report her. She is unfit and a disgrace. That child doesnt deserve this waste as a mother.

QwertySmalls · 20/10/2019 09:50

I done a course at work about neglect and this was one of the types. Before I used to think that you could only report someone once they had given birth.

Meganc559 · 20/10/2019 09:51

So yeah I do know what I m fucking talking about, I agree there should be extra support for her but is she gunna take it if she's carrying on with it now!
Doing something you miss like drinking or smoking while your pregnant is very selfish! It's only 9 months!

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2019 09:51

None, would obviously be the best

That wasn’t my question. At what level of cigarette/alcohol use would you forcible admit women to your facilities? Are you up for sending police to make them go if they don’t want to?
What about pregnant women eating unpasteurised cheese? Or a partner who won’t stop smoking around his pregnant girlfriend?

477964z · 20/10/2019 09:52

You can make an anonymous report to social services, and then they will take that information and investigate. If they assess and find there’s a concern they will get involved, provide support to her and the baby, and the child will have professionals looking out for their well-being and safety.

Once you become aware of child abuse it’s actually unethical imo to sit back and do nothing because ‘it’s none of my business’. Child protection is everyone’s business, you can’t unknow what you now know. So find the contact details for your local social services referral line and get in touch.

Fookadook · 20/10/2019 09:53

You can report anonymously. Please do so.

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