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Original poster

Drinking drugs and smoking whilst being pregnant?

454 replies

pennygirl26 · 19/10/2019 13:11

I know someone who is due her baby in Dec. She only found out a few weeks ago she is pregnant.

She had very openly continued to smoke cigarettes and joints,but has been drinking also saying its not anything worse than what she's done in the past 6 months. She's also still taking coke every now and again. What can I do about this? I feel sick every time I see her. The other night I caught her buying a half bottle. It's just so dicgusting I don't know who to go to as I don't want her to know its me.

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 21/10/2019 13:50

Nope still batshit

SesameOil · 21/10/2019 13:51

Are you suggesting that none of the women who would be locked up under tigger's proposed policy have other children, jobs or mortgages tequila? Because unless you are, we would have to have some way of dealing with these other commitments.

Now I can see that the state might well say fuck your job and your house, those are your problem. But if the woman has caring commitments either for her own children or someone else (elderly relative for example) then they potentially do become the state's problem. So we'd need to think what to do with them. The foster care system? That sounds like a superb way to lead to more alcoholics in the future, given the stats for children who have been in care.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 13:51

Tequila

Please could explain where I objected to someone answering me?

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 13:52

*you

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 13:53

And of course, it would mean more children in care. Which is what we are - apparently - trying to avoid.

TequilaPilates · 21/10/2019 13:53

But if the woman has caring commitments either for her own children or someone else (elderly relative for example) then they potentially do become the state's problem.

Well if said woman is pissed out of her head or cooked up she won't be doing a very good job of caring for her children or elderly relative will she? So best all round for the state to step in rather than leave them in the care of an alcoholic coke head, wouldn't you say?

I'm done.

SesameOil · 21/10/2019 13:54

It's ok though seaweed, the only children that matter are the ones not yet born. As soon as they're out, they forfeit any right to consideration when we make policy.

Tableclothing · 21/10/2019 13:55

tequila

If the avoidance of long term suffering is your priority, where do you stand on euthanising old people, or those with terminal diagnoses?

(Sorry for derail)

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 13:56

Well if said woman is pissed out of her head or cooked up she won't be doing a very good job of caring for her children or elderly relative will she?

That’s another straw man. The argument was if the woman was consuming any of these substances over the recommended guidelines (ie. none). Nobody said she was pissed out of her head.

I drank a glass of wine once a week when pregnant. As I said before, I am an alcoholic. You would be hard-pressednto convince me that my child would better off now if I had been shackled in a hospital ward during my pregnancy, or that she would be better off in foster care than in our family’s.

These things aren’t black and white.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 13:56

As soon as they're out, they forfeit any right to consideration when we make policy

Indeed.

TequilaPilates · 21/10/2019 13:57

If the avoidance of long term suffering is your priority, where do you stand on euthanising old people, or those with terminal diagnoses?
I have an advanced directive. If I'm ever in that position I will have no qualms about going to Dignitas. I think that is something that should be legalised in this country.

It also has nothing to do with this thread.

SesameOil · 21/10/2019 13:59

Well if said woman is pissed out of her head or cooked up she won't be doing a very good job of caring for her children or elderly relative will she? So best all round for the state to step in rather than leave them in the care of an alcoholic coke head, wouldn't you say?

I'm done

But tigger stated that the threshold should be when a woman goes above recommended guidelines. That is significantly below being pissed off her head. Most of us are advised to drink no alcohol at all when pregnant. You're conflating two different things.

Although even if it was actual alcoholism, no, it's not necessarily best all round for the state to step in as an alternative to leaving them in parental care. Because the state does such an appalling job at looking after children in the care system. A sobering thought, no pun intended, but no less true for it.

tigger001 · 21/10/2019 14:02

which is just as well since there's none to be had in chaining a woman to a bed for the duration of the pregnancy. Which is where this eventually takes us.

No one is chaining anyone anywhere (HmmHmmConfusedConfused), the same as they don't in mental health facilities and rehab institutions.

So imprisonment of a person regardless of their actual state of mental health (no, it’a not enough to state that someone drinking over the recommended guidelines is mentally unwell) or of the legality of thei

I at no point stated the woman is or any woman is mentally ill for drinking over the recommended amount, I said she was "not well". So if you have an addiction issue and you are drinking to extremes and taking drugs whilst pregnant, a rehab facility would not be a bad place.

SesameOil · 21/10/2019 14:06

Nobody is chaining a woman to a bed now tigger. But if you want to prevent someone from imbibing certain things, that or something having the same effect as it is what you ultimately have to do if they are in a facility where such things are potentially available and the woman doesn't wish to co-operate. And if you think there aren't any drugs or alcohol available in prisons or secure units, you're very naïve.

As for a rehab facility not being a bad place, it's a pointless place if someone isn't ready to engage. You can't make that happen. However convenient it might be if you could.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 14:06

I at no point stated the woman is or any woman is mentally ill for drinking over the recommended amount, I said she was "not well". So if you have an addiction issue and you are drinking to extremes and taking drugs whilst pregnant, a rehab facility would not be a bad place.

You are going to need to be a lot more specific than “not well” to get judges to let doctors lock up pregnant women to protect their foetuses. And you’ll need to rip up the HRA. And persuade doctors en masse that the Hippocratic Oath was just a sidebar to their actual vocations.

tigger001 · 21/10/2019 14:07

I'm not quite sure why everyone is throwing prison at me when I never stated they should be sent to prison ConfusedConfused it was used as an example of legitimate circumstances where we take people's rights away

Why let the facts get in the way hey !!

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 14:08

But you are suggesting locking them up in rehab? Apologies if I have misinterpreted you.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 21/10/2019 14:09

A rehab facility is not a bad place if it stops a pregnant woman from taking drugs during her pregnancy. At least some harm to the foetus would then be prevented.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 14:09

A rehab facility is not a bad place if it stops a pregnant woman from taking drugs during her pregnancy. At least some harm to the foetus would then be prevented.

It’s a prison. Let’s not mince our words.

SesameOil · 21/10/2019 14:10

Where are you thinking of putting these women then tigger, could you be clear? You mentioned rehab but there's not actually much point in that if someone isn't willing, ready and able to engage. Frankly they might even be detrimental to the others in there who are ready at that point. And it would need to be somewhere that had the facilities to detain someone against their will.

I'd also like to hear about your ideas for forcing non-compliant women to stay. Sometimes people being detained against their will receive some kind of sedation, but of course that potentially has an effect on the foetus too.

Tableclothing · 21/10/2019 14:10

But you wouldn't be able to stop them from drinking without depriving them of their liberty.

tigger001 · 21/10/2019 14:11

You are going to need to be a lot more specific than “not well” to get judges to let doctors lock up pregnant women to protect their foetuses.

Good job I'm not discussing it with them now, and I'm just having a discussion on a forum.

Did you want to ask me what I meant though ? If so you can just ask you don't need to get all het up.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 21/10/2019 14:12

Did you want to ask me what I meant though ? If so you can just ask you don't need to get all het up.

Het up Hmm I’ll get as het up as I like when people are suggesting the removal of my legal rights.

What did you mean?

Passthecherrycoke · 21/10/2019 14:13

It's got to be prison though hasn’t it tulip? Because you could just walk straight out of a rehab

Contraceptionismyfriend · 21/10/2019 14:14

@TequilaPilates both my husband, I and all of our closest friends work in bars, pubs and nightclubs.

So by your solution with alcohol being banned or to expensive we would all lose our jobs. So how do you resolve that?