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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that these are not signs that we live in poverty.

328 replies

Tweedledeedumb · 19/10/2019 09:43

Had an unexpected phone called from DS's school.
All year 7's were given a survey and my sons answers indicated that we might be in need and the school were offering friendly help. It turns out that the questions that he responded no to were:

Do we have a dishwasher
Do we have a microwave
How many holidays abroad has DS had this year.

AIBU that these are not an indicator or poverty. I have never seen dishwashers or microwaves as necessary.

Both I had in the past and never used them. It is personal choice not to own them and we do perfectly well without.

As for the holidays, why is going abroad necessary when we have amazing places in the UK. Fair enough if they said holiday in the last 2 years but for all they know, I may have had 6 holidays last year.

I work in education so not knocking the school as we see these things all the time but this had to be the most ridiculous one to date.

The school said that it was fine and it was just to flag those needed help and they couldn't ask the children if their parents struggled to pay bills.

What do you think? Are these questions useful?

OP posts:
Blackbear19 · 19/10/2019 13:28

Those questions are a data protection issue what are they doing with the data?

What about children raised between two houses, mum might not have those things, dad might?

What about the single parent who doesn't see point in using the dishwasher for two plates? But uses it to sort polybags!

What about the disabled mum who couldn't bend to empty the dishwasher so doesn't have one?

Not good indicators of poverty in my opinion.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 19/10/2019 13:29

It really isn't that unusual to not own a microwave or dishwasher.

Blackbear19 · 19/10/2019 13:29

Store not sort polybags

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/10/2019 13:31

Ridiculous. I don't have a dishwasher, I did but it broke down and I couldn't justify replacing it. I do have a (£20) microwave. And we did go abroad thus year because my parents took us. I am not well off, working part time with 2 small children, but am not living in poverty by any means.

Mimsnethe · 19/10/2019 13:39

What ridiculous questions.

Our household income is £220k.

We don’t have a dishwasher (don’t need one), or a microwave (had one but it broke 12 years ago and never got around to replacing it so very happy without now).
Didn’t go abroad this year (a parent was very ill and subsequently passed away so didn’t have the opportunity/heart).

Gimmechipschocolateandcake · 19/10/2019 13:41

Very weird

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 19/10/2019 13:57

I just don’t like this questioning of kids for personal information, and not knowing who’s seeing the data, and what they’re doing with it. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it does make me uncomfortable. And I’m not sure how it fits with all the new data protection rules?
I think if schools want to help families in trouble, they need to stop with the branded uniform so parents can buy the cheaper supermarket items, encourage a culture of exchanging secondhand uniforms (they can always cite eco reasons), make school trips local and affordable to all (so many threads lately about trips costing thousands), stop the constant requests for money, or make things like non uniform days an optional donation (so you can give 10p or £10, but it’s anonymous).

Mamasaurus82 · 19/10/2019 14:06

Oh my goodness! We're living in poverty too then Grin. Don't need any of those things in the slightest xx

carolina21 · 19/10/2019 14:21

Having a microwave isn't a good thing ? Would you me think no home cooked meals ? Only junk ?

WagtailRobin · 19/10/2019 14:25

I don't have a dishwasher and I don't really use my microwave. Neither is due to poverty!

Lilacviolet · 19/10/2019 15:07

Neither do I, cold

louderthan1 · 19/10/2019 15:10

Ha ha ha! I grew up without a dishwasher or microwave. Still have neither in adult life 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not going on foreign holidays is a good thing! Climate change etc.
Do hope you get to the bottom of this op

NoraThePessimist · 19/10/2019 15:13

We use the microwave to reheat batch cooked (homemade, healthy, low salt sugar etc) items as well as invaluable for easy peasy eggs, porridge, etc

..but we have the highest income level we've ever had.

Years ago when we were dirt poor (as in, walking around with holes in shoes poor, eating Tesco value beans on smartprice Asda toast for a normal dinner).. we owned one too. But rarely used it because we didn't , couldn't afford to, batch cook or store lots of food basics...
It's absolutely not an indicator of wealth at all.

Arnoldthecat · 19/10/2019 15:15

Am i one of the elite? My microwave is also a fan oven and grill . I mostly use the van oven.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 19/10/2019 15:19

That’s very odd. It just seems a bit random and I’m not sure how it would be a good indicator of poverty (especially considering that things like microwaves are very cheap and dishwashers are often present in rental properties so don’t come out of the household budget).

We don’t have a microwave - why would we?
We have a dishwasher but didn’t have one for a while because we struggled to figure out how to fit in a dryer and a dishwasher.
We go abroad but only because we have to, given the option I’d choose domestic holidays.

PixieDustt · 19/10/2019 15:37

How ridiculous!
I don't own a dishwasher because I don't like them I'd much prefer to do the washing up myself. I go on holiday in the UK every year as I absolutely hate flying. As my DS gets older I will take him abroad as I don't want him to have the fear of flying I have or know about my fear.
But I still wouldn't take him abroad yearly maybe every 2 years.

477964z · 19/10/2019 15:37

I think people are missing that the three questions mentioned by OP are almost certainly just three of many/several more. I’m sure there are other questions which make more immediate sense, and mirror the examples people are giving on the thread! It would be silly if it was just those three but as part of a wider picture I can see how they’d make sense.

The microwave question: even in cheap rental properties ovens come as standard, I’ve never met anyone without an oven unless they’re in a B&B/homeless shelter. Whereas microwaves rarely come as standard in rentals, or when you buy a house, they’re a white good you’re expected to buy and then keep hold of yourself, an added extra. So I can see why no microwave is used rather than no oven, as if you’re doing poorly financially you’re not likely to buy a microwave when you already have an oven even if the microwave might be more convenient.

TottieandMarchpane · 19/10/2019 15:40

even in cheap rental properties ovens come as standard

Not in social housing. No white goods, no carpets, nothing.

NoSquirrels · 19/10/2019 15:40

I think people are missing that the three questions mentioned by OP are almost certainly just three of many/several more.

No, it’s not that people think there were only three questions, it’s that ticking ‘no’ to those three questions triggered the phone call. Which is silly.

NoSquirrels · 19/10/2019 15:42

^^ and what Tottie says about social housing. It’s not like a private rental. You literally just get the shell, the four walls.

477964z · 19/10/2019 15:42

Ah, I stand corrected. Only ever been able to rent privately (not a chance of council housing in any of the areas I’ve lived) and it’s unheard of not to have an oven already fitted. So yeah, that puts the microwave question in a different light!

477964z · 19/10/2019 15:44

NoSquirrels

It’s probably the case that ‘no’ to any three questions triggers further investigation. I doubt it’s left to the ‘marker’s judgment which three might indicate an issue and which three might be okay in conjunction. Personally I’d rather they err on the side of caution even if it means offering help to families who don’t need it.

NoSquirrels · 19/10/2019 15:45

if you’re doing poorly financially you’re not likely to buy a microwave when you already have an oven even if the microwave might be more convenient

Even if you do have an oven, it’s not the convenience of a microwave, it’s the cost of cooking meals - the electric you’ll use up on a 3-minute microwave meal is far, far less than what the oven will cost. Which you are super aware of if you pay for electricity on a power key rather than a direct debit.

That’s why the questions are poorly thought out - they don’t actually make sense in the context of determining poverty.

Rezie · 19/10/2019 15:45

We just went to tons of showhomes. Price range was £300k-500k and most didn't have s dishwasher space unless you took some of the storage space away. Clothes washers were in place. I do have a dishwasher and microwave but they are not a necessary. Maybe the questions should be more like "do eat daily?" Or something with more proof.

mumwon · 19/10/2019 15:46

just a thought - some people get into debt precisely because they have these things- or they may have don't these things this year earlier but parent/s may have been made redundant/got a lower paid job/be doing less hours/zero hours (etc etc etc) or they may have been given these things as presents from gparents? However - perhaps its a polite/tactful (!!!) way of narrowing who might have problems (but as stated above...)