Should I apologise

[CannotbearsedRN]

Background 35 weeks pregnant with twins massive, exhausted and sore.

‘D’P has his son this weekend who is 10 DP was working today and I was picking up DSS from school along with my DD (6). First DSS has been to stay in a few months as there have been issues with his mum. So I made sure we had a nice night planned with Halloween activities etc.

DP then rang to say he was being kept on in work until 10 so I told DSS who cried as he missed his dad. I continued on with the planned activities dss had a toilet accident (which I have tried to get DP to sort out but there is no improvement) I cleaned that up text DP to tell him
And he said I was ‘getting at him’.

DSS then started playing his game console online which I really really don’t agree with kids gaming online so mentioned this to DP and he said his mum lets him. So I said yes but this is our house we have our rules...he replied saying he didn’t want to rock the boat as he’s only back. Which I just think is ridiculous parenting so he told me to sort it but I didn’t feel comfortable enough.

It got to 930 and DD was exhausted so I put her to bed then told DSS his bed time would be 1030. I finally sat down at 1045 with a cuppa and half hour later DP comes in (finally) and because said that I was rude as I didn’t reply to his message on the way home. No thanks for sorting out everything today nothing. He went for a shower and I’ve just heard him get into bed. Wtaf is his problem! He has never had my DD all evening and I know he would no bother but I would at least be a little grateful. Apparently I’m just miserable and I probably am but I am exhausted all the time. Should I just bite the bullet and go in and apologise?

OMG he's awful!

he was more ‘pity me’ as all he does is his hobby and the gym so why am I so hard on him.

...and then he promptly fucks off to the pub??

What a sub-standard man he is.

Obviously I will not have him driving me anywhere after 3 drinks no way

He shouldn't be driving at all! He could kill someone else's child. I would report him for drink driving.

It is easier to make major changes when the babies are in your womb, than out of it.

So after everything, he has gone out drinking with his mates, what a total waste of space.

I feel for you OP, but that little boy must feel dreadful, he's literally passed around with no consistency and a dad who frankly doesn't seem to give a toss. The toileting issue needs to be addressed, you said that you collected him and your dd from school, do they go to the same school? Could you speak with the school about the toileting issues? If it's happening during school hours, is there a reason? My dd is in Y5 and they've been told that they aren't allowed to go to the toilet during lessons (that's a whole other thread), but could it be something as simple as this which is causing the issues?

So he's left his son with you again plus your daughter plus you're heavily pregnant with twins... and he's doing his hobby, the gym and the pub....??? Yeah right poor him. He sounds awful and selfish when he should treat you like a queen still going being pregnant with 2 of his babies.
And I feel so sorry for his son. I can totally understand why he didn't have contact with his dad... he's not even there making the most of the time he has with his son.

So YOU KNOW that he will have over the limit to drive and that's fine as you won't be getting in the car with him?

What about all the other innocent people on the road that he may kill?

Shame on you, you should be calling the police.

Who said he'd be driving?

@Motoko you may be right, I may have taken that wrong. I hope so.

If I have, I apologise.

Sorry he didn’t drive to the pub no way! It was before he left he said he’d only have three drinks so if I did go into labour he would be sober enough

Ok, @CannotbearsedRN I misinterpreted that, I apologise.

Get to bed and have a good (as it can be heavily pregnant with twins) sleep.