To say that life isn’t a fair playing field

[Thetruth02]

I know al going to get flamed for this so have name changed. But... I see more and more threads that say “why can other kids go to private school and I can’t afford it” it’s not fair or “someone gets paid a shit load of money but doesn’t seem to work that hard” it’s not fair.

Yes - it may not seem fair - but that’s how life Is. To be clear I’m not talking about things like equal pay, or discrimination here, but the fact is life isn’t fair - karma isn’t a thing - and sometimes you do need to accept that you cannot have what someone else does.

I sometimes think that fairness, rights and justice are very elaborate constructs that don't sit very well with us because we're an animal species.

We've applied the principles as far as we can because there's so many of us living in complex social structures, but really, the 'rights' we have are a bit of an illusion when they can be changed, and there's no overlord keeping score (really). And if your human rights have been seriously abused, then it's not a great deal of comfort to have people weeping over it or passing judgement after the fact.

As far as human rights go, I think we'd be better off living in a primitive, small population where there's so little human competition for resources that capturing or enslaving people just isn't on the agenda. The size of human populations and the competition for resources makes inequality and injustice more unlikely.

But then I probably sound like one of those nutters who rambles on about humans not being a naturally monogamous species.

The more you forget about the “big picture” and just focus on changing your own tiny part of the world for the better, the happier you will be... just wish I could follow my own advice and stop reading the bloody news!

All the people saying it isn't good enough and that we shouldn't accept it

What do you actually do about it?

capturing or enslaving people just isn't on the agenda.

Capturing and enslaving people has been fairly consistent throughout human history, well prior to modern population explosion

Life isn't fair.
As tumble said:
However, we should be trying to make things more fair - for our children at least.

Fairer societies consistently have a higher quality of life- for everyone not just the poorer people.

Life was even less fair 150 years ago. Some people back them argued that 'the poor will always be with us' and that educating people 'beyond their station' would only lead to misery and social unrest.

Just as well plenty of people disagreed then. I still think we have a long way to go.

Totally this. Tolerating profound structural inequality is rubbish.

Life isn't fair. Depending on what sort of a person you are that statement is either the start or the conclusion to the conversation.

There are 33 MPs in Boris Johnson’s Cabinet - 64% them went to private school vs 7% of the population at large. For me it’s quite astounding that a government in a developed 21st nation can still be so dominated by very privileged individuals, but there it is. And even more astonishing that people are surprised when such a government fails to properly represent the interests of the country at large. Oh well.
By comparison, 30% of MPs total were privately educated, 50% of Cameron’s cabinet, and 30% of May’s cabinet.

What would be really nice if people who are advantaged (with intelligence, well paid careers etc) acknowledged that they are in a position of privilege. I must stress that many are aware but I still see that old line 'I worked hard for everything I have' if hard work equalled material gain then the cleaners who get up at 5am and do two jobs would also be comfortably off.
My mother is a good example. She did indeed work hard. However she also bought her council house at a ridiculously low price, inherited another and now lives in a nicer postcode with a fantastic final salary pension!
My sister, earns 6 figures and again works bloody hard for it yet seems to think that everyone should be capable of that. I couldn't! I barely scraped a GCSE in maths. She got a first from uni!
I've been a lone parent on benefits but working as a cleaner too. I'm finally doing a vocational degree but its bloody hard and not everyone will be able to lift themselves up into a better life.

'Life isnt fair get over it' is bollox advice - hate the phrase. We should aim to make life more fair for all including equal opportunities in education.

IMO people need to stop worrying about the haves and put their thoughts and energy in the have nots.
If we want a change in society. I am far from wealthy though as were both working we are comfortable week to week.
I am going to allocate €10 of my food budget towards food bank supplies for 6 weeks up until Christmas.
I often find those who envy others are usually uptight and over judgemental it comes with the jealous streak.

By the way, the reason I dislike most modern Conservatives is not because they are privileged. In fact, I live a very privileged life myself and make a very good salary for doing a relatively easy job. Rather, because their words and actions tell me that for them privilege is not something to be shared and distributed through society (through great public services, libraries, help for struggling families and the disabled, etc) but something to be hoarded and protected from the country at large.

Even if you were to remove all societal inequalities like private education, pay that reflects the work that is done etc. you would still have inequality because some people just have better genetics that others. A level playing field is simply unachievable.

@Cam77 aren’t societies always dominated by privileged individuals? If Britain didn’t have private schools it’s would still be rule by an elite, they would just find different ways to make this connections and distinctions. Just look at the USSR for instance, they killed off as many privileged people as they could. It was still the families that had been privileged by wealth that formed the new elite anyway. They simply adjusted their methods away from money towards education and attractiveness. At least where money is concerned your genetics matter less.

F

Animal farm

An example - I was walking around a very nice area with a friend recently - and she said “how do you suppose anyone affords houses like these?”. My answer was that most likely inherited wealth. She really got a bee in her bonnet about it being unfair - why should some people live in these huge houses just because they were born rich.

To me it was a shrug it off - but it really seemed to bother her.

There are obviously lots of reactions that you could have “well why does anyone need a huge house anyway?” to “well someone earned that money”. But I wonder if those who feel that everything should be “fair” are more likely to feel downtrodden more often.

If you have a moment to watch this piece of a Dunlin Senator who grew up in a WC estate. I think her interview was inspiring and should be watched by all professionals, especially around work experience for the under privileged youth from 4 minutes in.

I agree we can't make things equal without infringing on people's freedom too much.

But I still think we should aim towarda decreasing inequality, we're always near the bottom of the OECD tables.

Of course everyone can't be a Dr, but cleaners/kitchen porters/and supermarket workers should also be able to live and have DC without needing benefit top-ups.

@Velveteenfruitbowl
Fair points. Still, I think there is something especially toxic about Britain’s system of class and privilege, the way it’s so in peoples faces, via the Royals, the private school system, even accents. I think t damages social mobility - because people on some level just accept it as the “natural order of things”.

@cam77 I’m not sure that it’s any more damaging than say the US “American dream”. To me that infers more that “you didn’t work hard and that’s why you’re poor.”

I was walking around a very nice area with a friend recently - and she said “how do you suppose anyone affords houses like these?”. My answer was that most likely inherited wealth

Interesting example. I wonder if your friend would feel less aggrieved if she knew for sure that they’d made their money themselves, from nothin? And if they then passed that money on to their kids - which is now and always has been a huge motivator for accumulating wealth - would that then be considered “unfair”? And if those kids then totally screwed up their own lives - which does happen - by having too much wealth given too then at too young an age - fair or unfair?

Yep, life isn't fair and there's not a lot you can do about it.

Some people grow up in families that love and nurture them, some don't.
Some people find love that lasts all their lives some don't.
Some people live long and healthy lives some die young or live in pain or sickness.
Some people have jobs they enjoy some struggle day to day either without work or in jobs they hate.
Some people have children and struggle some struggle to have children.

Lots of instances, its not just the big things that make life unfair sometimes the simple things are what makes the difference.

@Jillyhilly I mean there’s also the unfairness that even if they did - they bought at a time when it was potentially easier to do so - say the houses cost £300,000 rather than £3million. While they’d worked for it - was it harder or easier work than say the work of a bricklayer? There’s so many ways to find this unjust.

What should we do though? Just accept a shitty hand and not push for things to be better?

My children are both disabled. I’m currently fighting to enable them to access the education they need. Many disabled children aren’t accessing education at all.

Are we just meant to say “well life isn’t fair” and not bother fighting?

I agree entirely, @Cam77. What continues to amaze me is that large numbers of the people the OP is complaining about, the ones who (understandably) resent other people’s success or money or privilege, camp out overnight on royal wedding routes waving flags, and continue to support parties/vote for governments composed overwhelmingly of the privileged.

As unfair as it may seem, trying to make things like education a level playing field is essentially a race to the bottom. There is no aspiration/motivation for improvement or achievement. Essentially no school would be able to be better than the worst one. What kind of society would strive for that?