To say that life isn’t a fair playing field

[Thetruth02]

I know al going to get flamed for this so have name changed. But... I see more and more threads that say “why can other kids go to private school and I can’t afford it” it’s not fair or “someone gets paid a shit load of money but doesn’t seem to work that hard” it’s not fair.

Yes - it may not seem fair - but that’s how life Is. To be clear I’m not talking about things like equal pay, or discrimination here, but the fact is life isn’t fair - karma isn’t a thing - and sometimes you do need to accept that you cannot have what someone else does.

Well, it certainly won't change if we accept it and do nothing about it, because "that's just how it is".

All it takes for the evil to prevail is good people doing nothing about it.

I agree life isn't fair and some will always have it easier than others. I count my blessings every day. It will always be unfair that some people are better looking, more intelligent, wealthier, healthier.

On a wider level I also believe in sharing good fortune which is why fair taxation is important so the least fortunate are valued and can live with some dignity. Life isn't fair but we should strive to make it fairer.

The thing is truth why would anyone want to give their children a worse deal?
I'd send my child to the school I currently work at quite happily (state secondary), but if the choice was somewhere I previously worked or private then I'd send them private if I had the money. I'd not be sending them to a school where I know there's terrible behaviour, where staff are verbally abused, where outcomes aren't as good in order to win some sort of "social justice warrior of the year" award. Ultimately sending my child to a school other than the local sink school isn't going to suddenly level the playing field for the students I used to teach.

Should parents who read to their children not read to their children or do educational trips because that gives their children an unfair advantage?

Social inequality is complicated and stems from large structural issues mainly, I don't think anyone should be expected to sabotage their children's futures just to get some warm fuzzy glow.

YABVU to say that life isn’t a fair playing field, because that makes no sense.
The phrase is Life isn’t a level playing field.

The sentiment behind it it reductive.
Yes , one does have to accept at times that one cannot have what someone else has.
But egalitarianism needs to come into play in order that a culture that calls itself civilised ( and evolving ) pays more than lip service to distribution of resources etc.

I agree, life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

There's no karma or 'meant to be' and fate doesn't exist. Life is random and chaotic with a myriad of consequences.

On a personal level, I appreciate everything I do have and I don't dwell on what I don't, or what should/would have happened 'if'.

But it's still important to campaign and work towards improvement.

Knowing circumstance leads to disadvantage doesn't mean we can't try to change those circumstances - if we just accepted how things are, nothing would ever be improved.

I think the biggest divide is between proactive and reactive people.

Some will look to create the opportunity if it doesn’t exist and the others expect to be spoon fed and waste countless time, whinging about it. I’ve been in both camps

YABVU to say that life isn’t a fair playing field, because that makes no sense.
The phrase is Life isn’t a level playing field

One really oughtn't be petty when one obviously knew what the OP meant. One also ought to RTFT as they would see OP mentioning the corrected term at 08.19, which would have helped regarding one's dire confusion.

It's true that life is inherently unfair, but the question is to what extent society/governments can or should attempt to balance that.

Private school is a good example, because unlike some areas of inequality it could actually in theory be abolished. It depends whether you think that education is in a different category from the other services and goods to which having more money gives you exclusive access.

I think that people who say that there's just as much inequality between different state schools as there is between state and private schools are missing the point. Having worked in multiple state and private schools myself, I'd say it was a totally different ball game.

@Thetruth02

I disagree. We wouldn't have free state schools and health care if that wasn't the case.

It took the elite agreeing to it to bring them in.

@LolaSmiles I completely agree with you - I’m not suggesting that people shouldn’t do this - just that they do.

I know I sound goady but I’m not trying to be. The original post was borne out of reading a specific thread combined with someone irl complaining that something work related and completely normal wasn’t fair and it just got me thinking really.

Comparison is a thief of joy definitely. I didn't like the cleaning lady comparing her amount of effort with the homeowners. They hired her to do a job and not bring negative judgy vibes to their homes.

Yes, life does feel unfair at times. I can only look at it from my perspective though - don't we all. We have to work with what we have, some have very little and some a lot.

*Having an absent father affected my self-esteem badly and took years to restore
*Being bullied through high school meant I was often (secretly) suicidal and my GCSE grades were abysmal
*Shit grades meant I could not enter my preferred career
*I found an alternative career and moved to management level but I do not enjoy what I do at all

I am in awe of young adults who follow their intended career path. They decide to be a lawyer, doctor, accountant and jump through all the loopholes to get there.

Just take a look at these boards - tutoring, moving to be within a great catchment area, not wanting their children to go to certain nursery’s due to demographics etc. That’s giving advantage to their own children - not offering a level playing field for all.

Yes but imo you can be in favour of a more egalitarian system, and be prepared to vote for a government who would change the system, but still feel you must do the best for your own child in the system that currently exists.

@earphones you see it a lot in all manner of ways... the person who cannot believe that their CEO has a two hour lunch meeting when they’re only allowed an hour. The sister who thinks it’s unfair that her sibling has more children but with less income topped up with benefits.

I think I probably gave bad examples in my op making it sound purely like a money thing but o don’t think it is.

Thetruth02
I don't think you're goady at all.

Setting aside structural inequalities, some people have an overactive sense of what's unfair, usually meaning that they think their lot in life is unfair, or its unfair someone gets an opportunity they don't, or its unfair someone has something they don't.
Equally some are quick to moan and complain and not do anything about their situation as if they're powerless to do anything.

Life can and will never be completely fair. But there's a reason why we bring children up with such a strong emphasis on fairness. Their behaviour is easier to manage, by and large, when things are fair and they can see that. Similarly, societies are easier to manage, on a broad and long-term scale, when things are fair and people can see that. Deep-rooted societal inequality (exploited by the very populists who benefit from and maintain it) is a very significant root cause of the current Brexit mess.

I recently met an old school friend who is now financially much better off. This is due to different choices in life rather than fairness or unfairness. But I did think 'wow I wish I had the money she has' - they travel, have a big house.

I don't think I was jealous or envious - no desire to take it from her. So what is it called when you feel non-malicious longing for something someone else has?

It's one thing to say that life isn't fair and another to say it to justify being unfair to others.

Life isn't fair, and whether you agree with it or not, a level of inequality needs to exist to keep things balanced and moving, I don't know to what extent exactly, but you will never eradicate inequality and I don't think you should.

"How can education ever be a fair playing field? Even if all schools were state -
Some would still have better teachers, by dint of where they are they would have better “Connected” pupils etc."

Look at other countries. Your posts read as if you think the UK is the only country in the world. The UK is one of the least equal countries in Europe and this is seen in education as well.

I totally agree OP, and reading a lot of threads on here I do despair of the everything-in-life-should-be-fair brigade. I can't remember which thread I was reading recently but I was like at the poster's inability to explain to her children that life wasn't fair and yes, sometimes we do have to just suck it up. If you knew my life you would sympathise if I said 'x,y,z happened to me and the consequences were a,b,c which wasn't fair' but I didn't think like that - it was life and you made the best of it.

I strongly believe in putting as many recourses as possible towards getting equality of oppurtunity.
But I don't believe in putting anything towards achieving equality of outcome.

"you will never eradicate inequality and I don't think you should."

You can reduce it though. Scandinavian countries are more equal than most Latin American ones, for example.

Life ISN'T fair. If it was and everyone actually had the same amount and money and the same level of intelligence the world would collapse. It would be better if the gap between the rich and poor were much smaller and there were opportunities for everyone to better themselves if they worked hard for it, but the reality is that isn't the case. All we can do is try to work towards that goal with fighting for fair pay and conditions etc.

But there will always be those that are jealous of what others have and tout the "Life's not fair" card without trying and working hard for it. Take the Private V State schools argument. Our daughter has a few issues, her primary school didn't want to know, she was also badly bullied because she was "different". Because she didn't want to complain, the school denied there was a problem, despite her friends standing up for her and saying something on her behalf. So we scrimped and saved, my husband works long, long hours and we have put every penny we have into sending her to private school. We don't live in a fancy house, we don't have fancy holidays, but our daughter is happy and thriving. So stuff those that say it "isn't fair". I may think your nice house "isn't fair" whilst you are thinking my daughters private school education "isn't fair"... I didn't think that the state school was being fair, so I did something about it!

As my Mum used to say "life isnt fair so get over it!". Harsh but true .However I think we should still be trying to change things ,esp as we are in the 21st Century and there are still people living on the street! , kids leaving School illiterate ,and a ever widening gulf between rich and poor .There will always be people who have a "leg up " so to speak ,and I cant see it changing much anytime soon sadly.The sheer waste of Bright Children who fall through the cracks is upsetting ,and the fact that if you can afford private treatment no waiting lists !.I am unsure as to whether we are better off now or not .Housing is another thing .Poor people have little choice but to rent and Council flats /houses were built profusely in the 50s and 60s and before!