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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

453 replies

ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 16:43

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

OP posts:
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8
PrincessHoneysuckle · 17/10/2019 17:17

Take them all to the park have one to one time eith eldest in the house while the two younger children nap

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 17/10/2019 17:17

Please no OP don;t ....please.

Darkbendis · 17/10/2019 17:19

If you were with your 4 y.o. in the back of the garden, something happened and you needed to rush back to the house in a minute but the child won't co-operate, you could leave him alone in YOUR garden for a few minutes and rush in to attend to the baby/toddler emergency. You cannot do this while you are in the park with the 4 year old.

cakeandchampagne · 17/10/2019 17:21

It would be neglect- and I would report someone if I knew they were doing it.

If the majority here isn’t convincing, call the police & social services and let them know what you’re planning.

NerrSnerr · 17/10/2019 17:22

I wouldn't do it. When my eldest was 3 she fell off a slide onto her bum and complained straight away that her neck hurt so we had to do the whole 999 thing (she was fine just had a bruised and sore bottom) but imagine having to explain to the paramedics that you had to go and collect your unattended babies.

If you're following SIDS guidelines the 5 month old should be asleep in the same room as you anyway.

GreySheep · 17/10/2019 17:22

No sorry. There are many factors that come into play once you leave the house and go into a public area. You shouldn’t do this.

Sceptre86 · 17/10/2019 17:23

My ds still naps whilst dd doe on occasion. This week we have done a lot of one on one stuff whilst her brother has been asleep. We made fairy cakes, have played in the garden, made towers with Lego and painted a makeshift telescope with loo roll. There is a lot you can do at home. I wouldn't take the risk.

GettingDucks · 17/10/2019 17:24

I’d be too worried in case something happened to you or oldest whilst you were out and you couldn’t get back to the house. What would you do then? All sorts of things can happen in or on the way to/from a playground that wouldn’t happen at the bottom of your garden! Don’t do it OP!

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/10/2019 17:26

Your five month old should always nap in the same room as you! And you plan to not even be in the house.

kenandbarbie · 17/10/2019 17:27

Nope. I would never leave my children alone napping. Crazy.

HalfBloodPrincess · 17/10/2019 17:27

You would be neglectful to do this. Why cant the 2 small ones nap in the buggy at the park whilst your 4 year old plays?

I've got a 2 year old and an almost 5 month old, I'm more impressed that they nap at the same time!

BlueJava · 17/10/2019 17:28

I wouldn't do this - just in case something happened which could prevent you getting back or being right there when they needed you. Even if you aren't convinced from everyone saying you shouldn't do it think about what you'd say if you were questioned by the emergency services. "Yes I left my kids in the house asleep whilst I went to the park" is not going to sound great.

Mummae21 · 17/10/2019 17:30

I wouldn't do it regardless.. it just isn't worth the risk.

Lunde · 17/10/2019 17:30

I wouldn't do this. The 2 year old will soon be dropping naps and may soon learn how to escape the cot (mine started dropping herself over the side before age 2). It is not worth the risk.

A friend of mine picked up her kids from nursery and they fell asleep in the car. She needed to post some stuff so thought it would be fine to leave them in the car. She was never further than 10 metres and in full view of the car the whole time. On the way back, and on the zebra crossing, she was hit by a car and very seriously injured. It wasn't until she arrived by ambulance at A&E, 35 miles away, and her husband arrived and asked about the kids that anyone realised they were were still in strapped in car.

Notodontidae · 17/10/2019 17:31

I've put the car in the garage while the children sleep, and been on tentahooks the whole time, there are lots of problems with your idea. Not realising the phone batteries have died, getting too relaxed and missing something important, getting knocked over by a car, "even more likely if something makes you panic", you have to motivate your DS, to move quickly before you can even think about crossing the road. @AliceAbsolum I dont know if your playing devils advocate or truely thought it was sensible. I would have to advise you that it is not sensible.

Sexnotgender · 17/10/2019 17:33

Absolutely crazy. You can spend 1:1 time with your son without leaving the house.

Weedinosaurus · 17/10/2019 17:33

Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened?
And the name Madeline is springing to mind here.....

MinTheMinx · 17/10/2019 17:34

the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet

...and then one day he will be able to, but you don't know when that will be.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 17/10/2019 17:35

@ChilledBee why would there be an ambulance involved in that scenario?

I don’t really see this as any different to being at the end of your large garden while children are napping in the house but then again I wouldn’t do that either. I am a bit streets though.

PoppiesarelethaltoSpellmans · 17/10/2019 17:36

Wow. I get why the idea occurred to you but the fact that you're actually considering it is worrying.

raspberryk · 17/10/2019 17:36

No I wouldn't, but I think it's a bit over the top to have to stay in the same room as 5 month old baby napping as others have said, I'm sure you can find a middle ground.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 17/10/2019 17:36

*stressy

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 17:40

If your 2 year old is still in his cot, yes I would. A friend of mine used to do similar, carrying her mug of coffee as the playground was literally opposite her house, across the street.

It was a small street though, not a dual carriageway.

MN is funny, on one side posters are happy to leave a baby sleeping in the garden, but it's deemed unsafe in their own cot safely in their bedroom .

user1471424489 · 17/10/2019 17:41

People say things like 'it's no different to having a shower, or going to the loo', in terms of the time it takes, but the difference is that you can't avoid doing those things. Leaving babies/very young children alone in the house is a totally avoidable risk, and there is no need to do it.

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 17:41

the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet

...and then one day he will be able to, but you don't know when that will be.

that's the point of baby monitor, so you can see what's going on!