Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moaning neighbour!

35 replies

NancyBirch · 16/10/2019 12:22

So we're currently decorating our bedroom and as we both work full time we only get time at night or weekends. We have neighbours above us who are away on holiday for a week but have a house guest dogsitting. Our neighbours have never complained about noise ever - they've lived there 2 years, we're 23 years in our house.

Last night my DH was putting up the last of the coving so tapping nails in to hold the coving and scraping excess adhesive etc. This all went on between 6pm - 8pm.
A knock at my door at 7.40pm from the upstairs house guest who said 'Are you doing something in that room' pointing at my bedroom window. I said 'Yes we're decorating'. She then complained that it was like banging on the ceiling and she was in her bed as had to get up at 7am (she's sleeping in the room above the room we're decorating). She wanted to know how long it would go on for, I said a few weeks but that DH was almost finished for the night.

I was quite dry with her as I think she's being completely unreasonable. I'm also annoyed that I didn't realise what time it was when I answered the door as i'd have been more vocal about it. I mean who goes to bed at 7.30pm and expects complete silence at that time?!

She's being massively unreasonable right?

OP posts:
hazell42 · 16/10/2019 12:30

Yes.
She doesn't live there and is causing neighbour disputes with people who aren't her neighbours.
And 7.30 is early.
Might be different if she asked, nicely, if you could knock it off because her children are trying to sleep, but what adult needs 12 hours, and why does she think 7.00 AM is early?
My next door neighbour is a builder and is regularly drilling and hammering until 9.00 PM because he is working all day. It has not crossed my mind to complain, and he does stop at 9.00
I'd just ignore her.

ThreeLittleDots · 16/10/2019 12:39

Doesn't really matter what she was doing up there, but it wasn't unreasonable of her to ask you when it would stop.

ThatMuppetShow · 16/10/2019 12:44

No, you are being unreasonable! and rude.

She just asked you what was going on, the normal reaction is to tell her, and as you said, that it was finished for the night. End of story.

FaFoutis · 16/10/2019 12:46

wanting to know how long it will go on for is completely reasonable

Venger · 16/10/2019 12:47

Just because she doesnt live there permanently doesn't mean it's okay for her to be disturbed. She wasn't being unreasonable to ask how long it was going to be going on for and that applies no matter what time of day it was. When we had new carpets and new wardrobes fitted it was daytime and I still let the lady next door know that there would be hammering going on for several hours so she knew to expect a certain level of noise and roughly how long it would last then. It's common courtesy.

As for who goes to bed at 7.30pm, lots of people do. Maybe she's had a run of very late nights if the dog has been unsettled and needed an early night, maybe she gets up several times in the night for whatever reason and needs to go to bed earlier to compensate, maybe she is one of those people who does need twelve hours. She doesn't have to justify her sleeping habits.

YABU to have been "dry" with her and YABU to be annoyed that she was disturbed by the noise.

Bluntness100 · 16/10/2019 12:50

It's a totally reasonable question to ask how long it would go on for. Why be rude to her? Length of tenure doesn't give you the right to be mean.

misspiggy19 · 16/10/2019 12:50

YANBU. She was going to bed at 7:30pm as she has to be up at 7am? Ignore her, 7:30pm is early and you were not doing anything wrong.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 16/10/2019 12:51

No, you are being unreasonable! and rude. How?

She answered the woman's questions, the noise stopped. People who work odd hours have to get used to the rest of the world living without a care for them... that's just how it is.

She doesn't have to justify her sleeping habits. Just as OP doesn't have to justify ordinary DIY that stops at 8pm!

HappyHammy · 16/10/2019 12:53

Shes only there for a week, just tell the ndn when they get back that you're decorating and apologise for any noise in advance.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/10/2019 12:55

Whether or not she was in bed or not, that noise would be really irritating if you're trying to relax in the evening. Fair enough to stop before 8pm but I can kind of see both points of view.

What I really wanted to ask was how can it take 3 weeks to decorate one room?

ThatMuppetShow · 16/10/2019 12:55

HOW was the OP rude?

Like that: I was quite dry with her as I think she's being completely unreasonable. I'm also annoyed that I didn't realise what time it was when I answered the door as i'd have been more vocal about it. I mean who goes to bed at 7.30pm and expects complete silence at that time?!

7:30pm is late for DIY - yes, it would be worst if it was 11pm, but it's still late.
Being so entitled to be outraged because a neighbour dares asking how long it will go on - for all she knows , the DIY could have meant to go on until midnight!.. that's rude.

It was a perfectly reasonable question, and YABU to not only be such a nuisance, but feel bother because your nuisance is being disturbed by a reasonable question and request.

Some people are neighbours from hell!

Venger · 16/10/2019 12:56

Just as OP doesn't have to justify ordinary DIY that stops at 8pm!

I didn't say that the OP has to justify her decorating. I said this woman wasn't being unreasonable to ask when the noise would be ending or to say it was disturbing her, OP was unreasonable to be pissy with her about it though.

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 16/10/2019 12:57

I pity the poor dogs being minded in the upstairs flat, having to wait almost 12hrs to get their next wee break!

Honeybee85 · 16/10/2019 12:59

YANBU at all.

7.30 isnt an unusual time at all to get some work done on your home. Aren’t there general rules available for your building that state the times during which you are allowed to make ‘noise’ because of cleaning, redecorating, playing a music instrument etc.?

For example in my old building such sounds were allowed between 9 am and 8 pm, monday - sathurday. My downstairs neighbour used to complain about hearing me hoover my bedroom on sathurday morning 11 am because she wanted to sleep in but had no right to complain because of these rules.

Plus I think she’s quite cheeky to start making troubles with you over normal sounds at a reasonable time and she is just dogsitting there.
If I were the owner and I heard about this, I would have been pissed about her behavior.

ThatMuppetShow · 16/10/2019 12:59

Just as OP doesn't have to justify ordinary DIY that stops at 8pm!

and unless she asks, the neighbour has no way of guessing the time the noise is scheduled to stop.

ThatMuppetShow · 16/10/2019 13:01

If I were the owner and I heard about this, I would have been pissed about her behavior.

seriously? People are supposed to put up with everything now? The OP is rude, the neighbour has done nothing wrong.

On so many threads, the advice is to knock on the door and talk - which is exactly what she did. People can't win.

userxx · 16/10/2019 13:01

She was being unreasonable.

Tinkobell · 16/10/2019 13:05

Sorry but I think that you are wrong actually. I think it's very reasonable for people to undertake noisy home improvement (hammering, tools etc) between 8-5:30pm Monday to Saturday not Sunday. Outside of that you should seek prior agreement. Given you are both working, I'd say your window for the hammering noisy works should be Saturday from 8-5:30pm.... surely that's long enough to tack up some coving isn't it?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 16/10/2019 13:07

@Venger I didn't say you did. Just as is a normal turn pf pharse, isn't it? Direct comparison between to behaviours... one isn't unreasonable nor is the other!

@ThatMuppetShow how is being 'dry' being rude? OP didn't tell her to fuck off... that would have been rude. And as for 7.30 being late, please. Almost every LA has guidelines that are quite clear that DIY will take place after normal work hours and most have 7.30 - 8pm as the recommended weekday stopping time. YOU may feel it is too late, but no noise abatement team would agree with you.

And I already agreed that the woman asking was being reasonable - again "Just as..." - it really is a normal turn of speech.

Jaxhog · 16/10/2019 13:09

Perfectly reasonable of her to ask. For all she knew, DH was going to be banging for hours every evening.

You gave a perfectly reasonable answer.

Not sure what the problem is really?

Original poster
NancyBirch · 16/10/2019 13:17

Maybe I was being unreasonable but I've had some really noisy neighbours over the years and I've always put up with it so just felt quite pissed off that someone who doesn't even live there had to come down and complain about the noise when it wasn't even that bad Confused

OP posts:
MarkinTime · 16/10/2019 13:18

Reasonable for her to ask, unreasonable for you to be 'dry' with your answer.
What's wrong with being perfectly pleasant and stating what time you would roughly be finishing.

sonjadog · 16/10/2019 13:21

Reasonable for her to ask, reasonable of you not to falling over yourself to apologize about doing DIY at 7:30pm.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 16/10/2019 13:28

Totally sensible time for diy imho.
Much much better than during the day which is awful if you are nights as suggested by previous posters. That time means that it should enable most people day or night workers to get the required sleep.
When you live in close proximity to others there will always be occasions where each other’s actions inconvenience people.

SweetNorthernRose · 16/10/2019 13:34

Hmm, well I don't actually think it was reasonable of ndn to knock on at 7.30. If it was still going on at 9pm ie outside of most LA reasonable hours then yeah, I could understand. Personally I think 7.30/8am is way too early for loud work but thems the rules so I suck it up and so should she.