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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear leggings to DD's University Graduation?

354 replies

OneToughMudderFudder · 15/10/2019 10:17

Big row this morning as DD wants me to wear a bloody evening dress like she is Hmm.

I'd planned to wear my new knee high brown boots, camel knee length coat with a black polo neck and leggings underneath.

DH (who is wearing a suit) and DD are horrified. It's a daytime ceremony.

Who's BU?

OP posts:
foodname · 15/10/2019 16:41

There's a compromise between leggings and evening gown!

tolerable · 15/10/2019 16:58

evening dress=ott. completely. Personally i think the coat n boots work but it will be hot/are you doing lunch\dinner after...cos the underneat outfit isnt so smart then.

Dyrne · 15/10/2019 17:22

I think it’s a bit sad that you don’t consider your own daughter’s graduation a big enough event to get dressed up for. Even when she clearly communicated to you how much it meant to her you still decided to wear leggings and a polo neck... and now you’re being ridiculous saying you’re going to hobble around in high heeled boots instead (and no doubt complain all day).

It’s not hard to put aside your feelings for one day and make it about your daughter’s achievement, surely?

Cryalot2 · 15/10/2019 17:23

Depends on where. Look at previous years graduation photos.
Many many years ago when son graduated I felt under dressed on the day and avoided photos. When dd graduated we both had hair done and and wore a smart dress.
The general theme at both was wear what you would to either a christening or wedding.( no hat) but no jeans, leggings or casual. Only seen one of all the people in evening dress. Men wore ties.
It can be a lovely event .
Hope you all have a wonderful day

FloatingObject · 15/10/2019 17:28

I think it's so lame that graduation is now a big massive showy deal like how the UK adopted the whole prom thing, and then the baby shower thing, and now stressful graduation dressing.

I think its tacky to be wearing evening dress to your child's graduation and your outfit sounds fine

steff13 · 15/10/2019 17:35

The boots should look fine with a knee-length skirt or dress.

In the US, a polo shirt is this. This isn't the type of shirt you mean, is it? It's like what you would wear to work at Target, not nearly dressy enough.

To wear leggings to DD's University Graduation?
Cryalot2 · 15/10/2019 17:36

I think Fizzygreenwater has summed it up . Think garden party.
If you are close to your dd see it as a time to let her help choose your outfit.
Most families had a family photo taken as well and went out for a meal after. There was a lawn event later in both our cases.

DappledThings · 15/10/2019 17:39

@steff13 That's also what we would call a polo shirt but OP said a polo neck which I think is what you would call a turtle neck sweater.

FizzyIce · 15/10/2019 17:41

@ FloatingObject of course graduation is a big thing !
Uni is hard !
And it’s not a new thing, my parents and my in-laws both dressed up for our graduations and so did everyone else’s families . That was about 17 years ago ...

SesameOil · 15/10/2019 17:42

That's a polo shirt in the UK too, a polo neck is different. I think a rollneck is what Americans say?

Either way, no, doesn't sound appropriate. Nor does an evening gown, not sure which is worse in fact. Meet in the middle. Smart trousers or a nice dress.

steff13 · 15/10/2019 17:43

DappledThings ahh, I see.

OP, if your husband and your daughter are both "horrified" at what you've chosen to wear, then perhaps it's not dressy enough. I'm sure it's not an indictment of you as a person, you might just have the wrong end of the stick here. It happens to the best of us. A nice dress or skirt would be more appropriate, or a pants suit.

Pandaintheporridge · 15/10/2019 17:43

Floatingobject the first graduation I attended was back in the early 80s and we all dressed up - as if for a wedding though not a ball.

BillywilliamV · 15/10/2019 17:45

It's your daughter's day, wear what she wants you to wear.

Amanduh · 15/10/2019 17:46

Every graduation I have seen or been to is a formal occasion.. like pp’s said, wedding attire.
Leggings aren’t really suitable...

Cohle · 15/10/2019 17:51

It's a special day for your daughter. Just wear something that she thinks is appropriate. Your reluctance to make an effort seems a bit unkind tbh.

RainWoman19 · 15/10/2019 17:53

Leggings? No. YABVU.

Aridane · 15/10/2019 17:55

I think it sounds fine. I wore a very similar outfit the other day and got lots of comments on how smart I looked

Smart enough for a graduation ceremony or daytime wedding - or just, you know, smart casual

ELM8 · 15/10/2019 17:58

YABVU even considering wearing leggings to a graduation.. YABVVU still considering it after your daughter has asked you not to.

Aridane · 15/10/2019 17:58

I wore leggings and and a long to my DDS graduation. She didn't tell me it was inappropriate. Lots of parents there in all different types of clothes. No one cares

Except OP's daughter (and her father) do care

HisBetterHalf · 15/10/2019 18:04

Dont wear leggings

TheMonkeyWhale · 15/10/2019 18:12

I would be heart broken if my mum didn’t follow my wishes on my graduation day.

Aridane · 15/10/2019 18:13

Goodness knows what the OP would consider suitable attire for her daughter's wedding Shock

OooErMissus · 15/10/2019 18:26

Leggings??

Seriously?

And to have to be told by your own offspring that it's inappropriate?

That's got to be a new low, surely.

SpiderCharlotte · 15/10/2019 18:32

@FloatingObject the OP has already clarified that by evening dress she doesn't mean ballgown type dress, that would be ridiculous.

But as for tacky, to be honest I'm not sure you get much more tacky than wearing leggings as trousers.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 15/10/2019 18:36

Sounds like a perfectly good outfit to me, if they're substantial leggings not cheap, jersey Primarky ones. Maybe swap them for smart trousers if she's that fussed.

Over dressing would be more of a cringe to me. An evening dress for a parent, way OTT unless a classic shift suitable for day wear.