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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear leggings to DD's University Graduation?

354 replies

OneToughMudderFudder · 15/10/2019 10:17

Big row this morning as DD wants me to wear a bloody evening dress like she is Hmm.

I'd planned to wear my new knee high brown boots, camel knee length coat with a black polo neck and leggings underneath.

DH (who is wearing a suit) and DD are horrified. It's a daytime ceremony.

Who's BU?

OP posts:
Redvelvets · 15/10/2019 12:31

If you struggle to walk in heels maybe just wear some nice flat shoes with some trousers

Zeldasmagicwand · 15/10/2019 12:35

With a coat and knee high boots, who's going to see your leggings anyway?
The coat and boots sound smart enough. Nobody wears evening dress. That's OTT.
Tell your DD she's being ridiculous.

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/10/2019 12:35

I don’t thing leggings are appropriate. They’re too casual. As it’s your daughter’s special day you could go some way towards her request but do stop short of evening dress or MOB attire. A smart dress would work well.

caperplips · 15/10/2019 12:37

I seriously don't think the DD actually meant an evening dress. I think this was the op's way of describing the fact her daughter wanted her to dress a bit smarter.
OP has subsequently said her dd's dress is NOT an evening dress, just a smart day dress. I think there was a lot of exaggeration being used!

FunkyKingston · 15/10/2019 12:37

Having been to these as both a student and a member of staff across a range of institutions I would say the dress code would be daytime wedding guest. So your daughter will be significantly overdressed in evening wear and you'll be somewhat underdressed in leggings. Tailored trousers are a viable alternative.

sableandI · 15/10/2019 12:37

Your outfit sounds lovely however, not for this event. You can dress up no matter if it's a day or night event. Do it for your daughter as it's going to make her happy and it's her special day. Hope you enjoy the graduation Smile

ThatMuppetShow · 15/10/2019 12:39

It's HER day, why do you need to make it all about you?

She must be dreading her wedding already!

Myshitisreal · 15/10/2019 12:41

I work a lot of graduations and parents come in all sorts of outfits from mother of the Bride , to just walked off a building site. Some graduands even come in shorts and trainers Although they do stand out. So people very much please themselves to be honest. The general Standard is highly polished anyway. Fair play to those who dress alternatively/more casual etc . I would compromise with your daughter, its her special day and the photos as well, they are a special memory and one you will look at time and time again over the years ♥ so not leggings, but Somewhere in the middle?

FuriousVexation · 15/10/2019 12:41

😲😲😲

Jesus christ. Just wear whatever you feel most comfortable in, and "explain" if need be to your family member that you are attending purely to pump up her numbers but are not inclined to pretend you give a shit.

(If you give a shit then you'll have already sent the graduate a message saying well done or whatever)

Jaxhog · 15/10/2019 12:43

You are. You're there to celebrate your DD's achievement and she wants you to dress up. Do it - for her.

dreichsky · 15/10/2019 12:44

Evening dress is over doing it.
Smart day wear is good, day wedding style would be fine. It is a formal day event.

Aridane · 15/10/2019 12:48

YABVU and disrespectful. It is a hugely important even for your DD and you should treat it accordingly.

sunshinesupermum · 15/10/2019 12:51

Happy medium - leave the leggings at home and wear a more formal outfit but NOT an evening dress (you will stand out for all the wrong reasons!)

SoftSheen · 15/10/2019 12:59

YABU. It's a special occasion, make a bit of effort (though not an evening dress, obviously, as it will presumably be a daytime event).

notmytea · 15/10/2019 13:04

Doesn't matter as long as you're there to share it with her. Graduations are usually in cold cathedrals or halls and you're sat for hours so wear something comfy I say

EdinburghFox · 15/10/2019 13:07

Read the update people! The OP was exaggerating about the evening dress: DD's dress could be day or evening I suppose

You sound like one of those mothers who makes it all about them. What a shame you can't just dress appropriately like like everyone else and put the focus back on your DD where it belongs.

Drabarni · 15/10/2019 13:09

I wouldn't wear an evening dress, but certainly a nice day dress or trousers and dressy top.
My dc all wore shirt and tie and dh wore a suit to my graduation.

JustDanceAddict · 15/10/2019 13:09

Leggings and jumper - big no go. Add a skirt and it’s fine.

milliefiori · 15/10/2019 13:14

It's her day. Wear what makes her feel comfortable and happy on the day. Not hard.

misspiggy19 · 15/10/2019 13:15

YABVU-

You are. You're there to celebrate your DD's achievement and she wants you to dress up. Do it - for her.

^Completely agree with this. I wouldn’t even wear leggings to work let alone my child graduation.

Whattodoabout · 15/10/2019 13:16

Black trousers would look better.

walkintheparc · 15/10/2019 13:21

I really didn't think it was that posh of an event!
Have you seen photos of a graduation before? Do you know what it entails? If not, why not get your DD to describe it to you. She probably has a pack from the uni. Get excited about it with her.

I'd also allow her to help you pick an outfit. I don't think boots and leggings is right OP.

It breaks my heart that your poor daughter is being palmed off with your lack of interest and care for this achievement.

Autumn2019 · 15/10/2019 13:22

Congratulations to your DD on her graduation. A smart day dress or trouser suit should be okay but discuss it with her. I think leggings and knee high boots are a bit too casual. I don't think knee high boots and leggings compliment your DH's suit either. It is your DD's day which she has worked very very hard for (kudos to her) - try not to spoil it for her with arguments etc. For my graduation, my mum wore what i requested her to wear (no arguments - she didn't want to spoil one of the happiest days of my life) and we even colour co-ordinated our outfits so the family photo was very nice. Your DD will have her graduation photos for the rest of life and should to be able to look back at them with fond memories. I hope you all have a great time at her graduation x

Autumn2019 · 15/10/2019 13:25

As a PP has said i would let her help pick an outfit for you to wear. Celebrate her achievement x

Userzzzzz · 15/10/2019 13:30

For both of my graduations guests came in outfits close to wedding guest dress code. Partly it depends on what happens afterwards. My undergrad was in the summer and had a garden party with champagne and canopies. Most people then went off and had a nice meal out with parents (lots of the hotels and restaurants were doing graduation day menus). I’d have felt a bit miffed if my mum had turned up in leggings. It’s the whole occasion really not just sitting in a hall.