To wear leggings to DD's University Graduation?

[OneToughMudderFudder]

Big row this morning as DD wants me to wear a bloody evening dress like she is .

I'd planned to wear my new knee high brown boots, camel knee length coat with a black polo neck and leggings underneath.

DH (who is wearing a suit) and DD are horrified. It's a daytime ceremony.

Who's BU?

[lottiegarbanzo]

My honest thought is that, even if you are that extremely rare 40+ woman who has an arse that looks good in leggings, such a formal occasion demands that you swap to trousers.

More generally, graduations are part-way between weddings and job interviews, as a formal day-time event. So require formal day-wear, if less shiny or floral than might be appropriate for a wedding.

[NearlyGranny]

Leggings and boots only if you put a lovely tunic and good jewellery on top. You're going to be looking at the photos for a long time! DD might well be venting her anxiety at a safe target, though.

Whatever the institution is, why not check their website for photos from previous graduations and see what other people wore? I did dresses every time.

Our DD's fuss was about her DF who was told no suit, no ticket! He caved and bought a lovely linen suit (July graduation) which features in all the graduation pics of all the children.

Give a thought to how colours will coordinate and charge up your own camera.

DD's institution process along the Strand to St Clement Danes and I gave my camera to her DB to get candid shots of the procession. Afterwards we got lovely shots of her and her housemates running through the fountain court in their gowns. Treasured images!

DD2 graduated in a medieval cathedral one October and it was blowing a hooley with horizontal rain but we got gorgeous umbrella photos of her and her housemate processing through the ancient city streets. There's always a USP to exploit.

My top tip is to wear waterproof mascara. And enjoy yourself.

[lily2403]

I wore a dress to my DD's but not a gown

[snowball28]

Evening dress is quite a relative term, to me an evening dress is a nice going out dress not a long gown like I’d wear for a ball or gala.

I think it’s unreasonable to wear leggings, the outfit you’ve described sound a very lovely and stylish but a very normal everyday outfit, why not a nice dress and tights? Doesn’t have to be new I wore a royal blue knee length lace dress to a friends wedding a few years ago and recycled it for both a christening and my brothers graduation.

I’d make the effort for her to be honest

[diddl]

Why does changing the leggings for a skirt & tights mean that you now need high heeled boots that you can't walk far in?

Can you not just substitute the polo neck for a tunic/sweater dress?

[yabadabadontdoit]

Dd graduated this year. All the parents wore smart, wedding type outfits, and most of us suffered in heels. One of her friends mothers turned up in leggings, a jumper and flat pumps. The girl was so upset, and it was noticed by all her friends.
This is a big deal, they’ve achieved a degree by bloody hard work and this is your chance to be proud of them. Turning up in leggings or thigh high boots rather than making an effort is giving them the impression that they are not worth that effort.
Incidentally, dd was at a Russell group and didn’t have a dress code other than smart. Most used whatever colour their gown hood was to dress to.

[ChicCroissant]

I also think evening dress is an exaggeration!

Glad to see the OP is not wearing leggings, will wait for her update after the ceremony. But yes, parents dress up and look smart for graduations.

[justintimberlakesfishwife]

Oh and heels aren't necessary if you can't walk in them. My poor old mum has to wear proper "old lady" shoes as she has awful feet. For my graduation / wedding / DC's christenings she wore a lovely dress and tights, and her usual shoes which I said I did not care a jot about.

[Rachelover60]

For goodness sakes, don't wear leggings to your daughter's graduation, that would be totally inappropriate and I'm surprised you even had to ask

Wear something smart and classy.

[Rachelover60]

Just reading back a bit and it seems the op is not going to wear leggings after all - thank goodness!

[diddl]

"I really didn't think it was that posh of an event!"

Not wearing leggings & a polo neck doesn't make it posh!

[BowiesJumper]

You don't have to wear heels... but something smarter than leggings would be more appropriate! A jumpsuit with nice shoes/jewellery, a simple dress and tights, smarter trousers etc... Not evening wear though, you'd look overdone then!

[Ihateedmundelephant]

They are being unreasonable!

[viques]

What are the social expectations of the event? If you are sitting in a hall watching the graduation and taking your DD out to lunch in a posh restaurant then what you are wearing sounds fine, though I would swap the leggings for trousers (or a dress if you want to show off the new boots).

If you are all expected to convene for canapés and drinks somewhere afterwards then I would be thinking smart dress and shoes not boots. But not an evening dress. What does the invitation say?

[Velveteenfruitbowl]

The category of clothing between ‘day time’ and ‘evening’ which you are describing is called the tea dress. I would suggest you wear one to make your DD happy. Is it important? No, not really. Are dress codes a bit ridiculous in general, yes, a bit. But it’s a bit too late to teach your daughter a lesson about social norms. She’s an adult and I would think it worth doing as she asks (especially as it is not unreasonable). Doing thins like this occasionally help your relationship transition from parent if a child to parent of an adult.

[Bluntness100]

Are you trying to sex it up? Over the knee heeled boots and leggings? Seriously?

Generally people are quite dressy. Not evening dress, but definitely dressy, I wore tailored trousers, heels, and a sleeveless shell top to my daughters,

I didn't see anyone dressing like Julia Roberts in pretty woman 🤣

[EmmiJay]

I'd say wear your original outfit and throw on some pearls. There. Formal casual.

[justintimberlakesfishwife]

@Rachelover60 She's not wearing leggings thank goodness"

No she's now wearing over the knee boots

Which is more appropriate??

[FizzyGreenWater]

Evening dress is a no-no, especially for parents (!!) - but I'd probably think smarter than a polo neck and leggings.

Think garden party.

Heels yes, smart dress.

[zoeling9]

You should absolutely not wear leggings for this graduation. Even wearing leggings for a supermarket trip is borderline underdressed in my opinion. I simply cannot emphasize this enough. You don't need to wear an evening gown, but a pair of trousers or skirt would be much more appropriate. The rest of the outfit sounds fine by the way.

[PissedOffProf]

I guess it depends on the traditions of a particular universities. I worked in a few places in my life and your outfit would be completely fine for a day-time graduation ceremony. The general rule was to wear something smart, but a full evening get-up was not necessary. Saying this, other places may have different expectations...

[LoveGrowsWhere]

YwereBU It's one of your DD's big days and a celebration. Glad you are going to smarten up.

[caperplips]

I think your daughter doesn't want to be embarrassed by you turning up in legging to her graduation! I would not want that either.
Over the knee boots are awful too. Why are you making this about you?
Can't you just wear the brown boots, and coat with a skirt or dress and blend in ? It all seems pretty attention seeking to me

[FAQs]

Leggings I’d also say no, I wouldn’t wear them to work. As another said it tends to be along the lines of day wedding guest attire.