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Original poster

DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

348 replies

Nobhobs · 13/10/2019 21:43

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 14/10/2019 22:22

Ocicat Grin

RhinoskinhaveI · 14/10/2019 22:22

I didn't have enough warning to stare longingly into his eyes, he said 'oh do you have to do that' and I said 'if you like I'll give you a warning next time so you can leave the vicinity'
and then I farted again
'ooh sorry I forgot to warn you'
and then I farted again
'ooh sorry I forgot to warn you'
Yes we had a right old laugh in Tesco's tonight 😆😅😁

katseyes7 · 14/10/2019 22:25

l always manage to hold mine in while l'm at work. But as soon as l get into the car - trumpet voluntary. You're meant to let it out.
lt doesn't have to be deliberate - it's not unusual to do it when you sneeze. lf you never have, you must have a sphincter like a bulldog clip.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 14/10/2019 22:46

Oh god this thread has me on stitches. I was trying not to laugh but DS has just yelled though ‘mum are you crying?’.

There’s nothing better than a fart joke. I bet even queen Victoria loved a good fart joke.

expatinspain · 14/10/2019 23:02

I always wonder what those people who are so uptight about farting will do if they or their partners become incontinent when they're old. If they are so grossed out by a fart, how will they cope with that?

theoriginalmadambee · 14/10/2019 23:17

You should definitely, definitely LTB.

If not, tell him that if he wants you to behave like a princess, he should treat you as one.

I'm lost for swear words (rarely happens) 😡 🤪.

butterandbread · 14/10/2019 23:43

@PippiDeLena Laughed so hard I was genuinely scared I’d wake the baby up 😂

@Nobhobs I’m actually so sorry your DH is being such a knob though, OP. I know there’s been many a funny post on the thread but it must be awful to genuinely feel self conscious about something like this in front of your bloody husband! Bravo on the comeback with your little one.

I say the only way to overcome the awkwardness is to do it all the more! And in fact, if he claims he only does it in front of you because you don’t care, tell him you’ve changed your mind and see how easy he finds it to stop!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/10/2019 00:58

Methinks some of those who deny* ever farting in public (or indeed at all) may juuuust be over-relying on false truth-stretching euphemisms technicalities - such as is demonstrated here....

*and we all know the accepted international law regarding denying it

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/10/2019 01:03

I always wonder what those people who are so uptight about farting will do if they or their partners become incontinent when they're old. If they are so grossed out by a fart, how will they cope with that?

That's an extremely good point. Ask people how they'll feel when their partner starts to lose their youthful good looks or athletic prowess and they'll all (even the no-good superficial ones will lie) state that of course it's just part of the journey of growing old together.

However, when it comes to more earthy and fundamental issues which will also affect a great many of us....

Skinnychip · 15/10/2019 07:25

I have laughed a lot at this thread (Sorry OP) and DH asked what i was laughing at. I told him and then we both were laughing (which is rare for DH as he doesn't find life as funny as i do!) at an incident several years ago. He went out in the car on his own and as he pulled into the drive, must have done an absolute honker. An hour later i had to take DD out in the car, and as we got in we were both nearly overcome by the fumes he had trapped in there!

OooErMissus · 15/10/2019 08:15

I always wonder what those people who are so uptight about farting will do if they or their partners become incontinent when they're old. If they are so grossed out by a fart, how will they cope with that?

To be fair, I'm sure they will be fine, if they have to be.

I fart in front of DH, but in 16 years together, I've never gone to the loo in front of him.

I'm sure, in our dotage, that may change.

We'll just crack on with it.

SimonJT · 15/10/2019 08:23

@expatinspain That wouldn’t bother me in the slightest as it can’t be helped, I had to clean my exes arse for about six weeks as he had been a pratt when drunk and badly burned both of his hands. Farting (and burping) however can be controlled, it’s basic respect not to force gas out either end in front of other people.

SoyDora · 15/10/2019 09:26

Just shows we’re all different... I’d be far more put off by a partner who drinks so much that they seriously injure themselves and as a result need help with basic care for 6 weeks than one who farts occasionally.

ClutchinMahPurrrls · 15/10/2019 10:02

I tried to sneak up on DH last night while he was in another room, but he did an unexpected U turn and made me jump instead. I made a strange hooting sound and farted. He laughed til he cried.

I thought of this thread and felt it worth sharing.

OooErMissus · 15/10/2019 10:05

Just shows we’re all different... I’d be far more put off by a partner who drinks so much that they seriously injure themselves and as a result need help with basic care for 6 weeks than one who farts occasionally.

FML, me too...😳

diddl · 15/10/2019 10:06

He sounds horrible.

He farts in front of you & you have never said anything-even though he does it on purpose.

Yet you can't help it & he's pissed off.

Perhaps you need to tell him that you do care!

RhinoskinhaveI · 15/10/2019 10:33

Bottom line here it's about respect and manners, deliberately openly farting in the presence of others is not polite so what the OP's husband is saying is that he can be rude to her but she has to be polite to him.
He's the master he can let it all hang out and she just has to put up with it, she's the servant and she must control herself in his presence and be on her best behaviour.
I was happily laughing along with my husband's farting whilst keeping mine in and being polite in his presence, so that's going to stop now!

expatinspain · 15/10/2019 11:32

SimonJT Well I'm just grateful my DP just lets out the odd fart and doesn't care if I do, rather than being with some over grown teenager who gets so pissed that they burn their hands and can't wipe their own arse, but each to their own I guess 😂

ClutchinMahPurrrls · 15/10/2019 13:09

Bottom line

fruitinaheapisnotabirthdaycake · 15/10/2019 13:39

Well I suppose it's not very feminine to fart 💨 in front of your dh. Maybe he wants a lady like wife and not 'one of the lads?'

Mephisto · 15/10/2019 13:42

Well it’s not very gentlemanly to fart in front of your wife either is it?

FreeBedForFlys · 15/10/2019 13:48

Bee farter - I think I love you 😂

Both DH and I are disgusted when the other farts, whilst being immensely proud of our own so we’re well matched in our hypocrisy.

FreeBedForFlys · 15/10/2019 13:51

On a slightly related note, a decent sized fart in a bath sounds like “Edward Woodward”.

IcedPurple · 15/10/2019 13:55

Well I suppose it's not very feminine to fart 💨 in front of your dh. Maybe he wants a lady like wife and not 'one of the lads?'

Breaking news just in: Women fart. Yes, even 'feminine' ones.

Hopingtobeamum · 15/10/2019 13:59

@foodwoes loved your comment 😂😂😂

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