DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

[Nobhobs]

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

Has he asked the baby not to fart too? That could be more tricky.

DH had a friend who thought farting wasthe most terribl behaviour, but he burped like a schoolboy in a burping competition! Loud, smelly, deep and long. He's a vile man in many wany and I am very pleased dh fell out with him and I no longer have to deal with him.

Your dh is behaving a little like that, isn't he?

when I’m out and about I never hear anyone just letting out a big fart in front of everyone I've certainly smelt it! Silent, but deadly ones are much worse than the loud ones, which often don't smell!

I LOVE your response!

I am the bee farter

Wanted to come back to say that I was also brought up in a non-farting, very victorian family. If any of us was unfortunate enough to release an unexpectedly fragrant fluff and it assaulted my stepfather's nostrils, he would exaim in horror, "Has someone made a RUDE SMELL??"

As for holding it in at work, have totally heard my boss accidentally fart walking down the office. He made eye contact with me and muttered "Oops." By some supreme force of will and control, I kept my face serene and pretended I hadn't heard a thing.

*exclaim

Just “parped”.

@WhoisitnowRalph a rude smell! I am laughing so much. I hate to admit that I accidentally did a rude smell while I was laughing at your comment, which made me laugh more!

I think I’d have responded with a fart tbh.

And @FoodWoes I’ve just laughed like I haven’t laughed in weeks. Stealing that mason jar idea!

How sexist to say the least
Of course you are not unreasonable, for either farting or feeling upset.
Farting or passing wind is normal and you have every right to. I am sure the queen does it , so why cant you?
In our house we just say "Excuse me" and no one bothers.
I have told my adult kids they will know they have met their partners when they can comfortably fart in front of them. So far not.

I always need to fart around 5am. When I was first with my chap I used to pull one cheek as far from the other as possible and hope for no rebound. Mine mostly don't smell so I could be silent and stealthy.

My chap farted on our first date and said "important to get that out of the way early to break the ice. Your turn". Took me about 18m of cheek pulling before I decided to just let them go, and my 'roids provide additional traction for a good old blast.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

parpetrator

Howling!

...wrong on many levels...” - brilliant, @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll!

Thank you! Not one of my originals, alas. I think it was a Tim Vine one.

Well hopefully he's now realised his remark was misogynistic wankery and he'll stop farting in front of you, or keep his trap shut if you fart.

Loving 'rude smell' !!!

I think I once saw a documentary about him, actually....

BTW OP - do you both ever watch South Park? They covered this male double-standards shit re farting and queefing (fanny farts) in one episode.
Perhaps he should watch it.

Yes a lot of people can manage to keep farts in in polite company, but it makes you uncomfortable. In the comfort of my own home and I’m all relaxed and half asleep in bed, I really don’t want to be getting up and going to the bathroom just to let a fart out. That’s ridiculous.

That said, these days I often can’t hols them in either. I’ve never been the same after taking naproxen for back pain, it destroyed my digestion and that, combined with perimenopause, means that no matter what I’ve done since my wind does just come out unexpectedly now and again. Sometimes loud and without a smell, sometimes silent but VERY deadly.

What can you do?

Wait until he’s asleep and then do a naked bum fart on his face.

I have a very childish humour about farting, although i rarely do.

What do all the disapproving types who haven't broken wind within a 2 mile radius of another person for 25 years think of whoopee cushions? DS had one which we all thought was absolutely hilarious. It was a sad day when DD broke it!

Have a can of Baxter's French onion soup and get him to pull your finger.

When he's sat in one room and you're in another, walk into his room and say "DH...?" to get his attention. When he looks up at you to see what you want, stare deeply into his eyes and fart, then go back to the other room. Do that every time you need one, until he cringes whenever you enter the room. He needs to learn.

What a precious little snowflake he is. Has he witnessed childbirth, if just a fart offends him so much? l suspect he's in for a very rude awakening. We're not talking about doing it deliberately just to piss him off. lt's part of the digestive system. Gas gets in and it comes out. Do his sound like saxophone music and smell like roses?
Nope. Thought not.

One of the girls l used to work with had told us she'd never farted in front of her partner.
Until they went on holiday. They were out sightseeing, and while they were standing looking in a shop window, he casually remarked "lt's a good job you fart in your sleep, or you'd explode...."

In honour of this thread I deliberately farted loudly in the presence of my husband this evening, he does it all the time and I tended not to do it deliberately but now I'm going to make a point of it 😊

@RhinoskinhaveI ah but did you stare longingly into his eyes?