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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

348 replies

Nobhobs · 13/10/2019 21:43

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

OP posts:
Ringdonna · 14/10/2019 12:35

DP calls it blowing kisses

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 12:37

Lol, love the use of the word 'crop dust'.

I first saw it used by an air cabin crew MNer. I'm guessing cabin crew invented it! Grin

Shockers · 14/10/2019 13:36

You’re lucky then @CardiFree- and clearly don’t suffer with IBS...

CardiFree · 14/10/2019 13:38

I have had IBS!

Damntheman · 14/10/2019 13:42

How on earth have you managed to have IBS and still never have experienced an uncontrollable bowel moment?

Shockers · 14/10/2019 13:56

IBS is a chronic condition. If you ‘had’ it, how did you overcome it? Genuinely interested- I shat myself in the library a few weeks ago Sad.

dontgobaconmyheart · 14/10/2019 14:04

Those who think their partner hasn't heard them fart are deluded and wasting your own time getting a stomach ache holding them in. DP is like this, won't fart in front of me but it's all doe naught because as soon as he dozes off he farts almost as soon as his head hits the pillow anyway where he is not 'holding them in'. I've woken him up laughing before and the ridiculousness of his behaviour, and the loss of his precious and excessive dignity.

I don't find farting funny to clarify, and find it pretty grim but it is just one of those things ultimately isn't it, everyone does it. Not sure I'd date someone who was 'squeezing them out' for show and laughing or or farting on me and giggling. I prefer to date adults/people with slightly more evolved ideas of fun than that- I would struggle to find them attractive. It's like a teenage boy attention seeking Confused

Gottobefree · 14/10/2019 14:05

Tell him not to fart in front of you then. Tit for tat ! see how he likes it!

KUGA · 14/10/2019 14:06

He`s a cheeky two faced pig.
If I were you I would fart on his pillow every day.
And I would make a point of doing it in front of him.
OOOOOH and in his car.

Topseyt · 14/10/2019 14:08

I have had IBS!

IBS is a chronic and ongoing condition causing unpredictable and very urgent bowel movements. You don't just have it as a one-off event. It also causes severe bloating and wind. If you are saying that you have just had the odd bout of diarrhoea once in a blue moon then that isn't what it is like to have IBS.

Topseyt · 14/10/2019 14:14

Oh, and OP, just carry on enjoying a good, cathartic fart when you need to. Ignore his protests.

As you have discovered, babies can also be pretty accomplished farters, so your DH is going to have to get used to it.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 14/10/2019 14:15

I haven't claimed to have IBS!! Just post baby I seem to pass gas without knowing until it's already happening.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nobhobs · 14/10/2019 14:16

Just realised the IBS comments weren't towards me... misunderstood that. Sorry!

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 14/10/2019 17:05

dontgobaconmyheart
Those who think their partner hasn't heard them fart are deluded and wasting your own time getting a stomach ache holding them in

I disagree with this as I never heard my partner fart and the only time I did was when he was ill, he certainly didn’t spend all night farting. It might surprised you but not everyone is the same!

cuppycakey · 14/10/2019 17:15

He sounds like a total pratt.

I would note this down mentally - but would be very unimpressed.

To those of you who have some amazing power to fart "at will" then congratulations, you are fabulous and superior beings. Please don't be quite so harsh on those of us who have no control at all and for whom each fart comes as a total surprise, with no time available to leave room etc etc.

BigFatLiar · 14/10/2019 17:26

If he asks you not to fart in front of him say you didn't realize it was his turn.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/10/2019 17:34

“To fart, to fart, it is no crime,
It gives the stomach ease.
It warms the bed in winter time,
And suffocates the fleas!”

”...wrong on many levels...” - brilliant, @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll! Grin

Bonheur88 · 14/10/2019 17:44

Your DH is an idiot and thats clearly ridiculous double standards on his part.

However, to those people who say they can’t control it - surely you don’t fart in the middle of the office or a meeting or in front of your boss (if you work in that sort of environment) so what do you do then?

OooErMissus · 14/10/2019 17:59

If I were you, I'd just fart anyway, but something tells me you'd rather abide by his wishes.

In this case, I'd be telling him his farts disgust you, and could he please not do it anymore.

I'm telling you right now - he will completely ignore you. So think about that for a moment.

He will have absolutely zero issue with treating your preferences with complete disdain. But you're all anxious about doing as he says.

Why?

bluebeck · 14/10/2019 18:43

However, to those people who say they can’t control it - surely you don’t fart in the middle of the office or a meeting or in front of your boss (if you work in that sort of environment) so what do you do then?

Yep - done all of those. Plus farting in front of a class of students. No warning signals whatsoever here. I think being able to control your farts must be some kind of Super Power.

I just went away for the weekend with five other women (all in our 50s) and only one of the group of six has the Fart Controlling Super Power...

MarianaMoatedGrange · 14/10/2019 18:46

Shockers I have IBS and shat myself in the middle of a city when I was going through a stressful time. Awful!

OP never let him make you feel insecure in your own home again. Your quip when your son farted was brilliant! keep it up!

Fart away and feel no shame about your normal bodily functions.

As a pp said, HIS farting loudly while holding eye contact is a dominance thing. Do it back.

PumpkinP · 14/10/2019 18:50

Holding in farts is a “super power” 😂 it’s funny when I’m out and about I never hear anyone just letting out a big fart in front of everyone, most people have the ability to hold it. It’s not a “super power”

bluebeck · 14/10/2019 18:51

It would be to me Pumpkin and I often hear people farting Grin

OooErMissus · 14/10/2019 18:54

I can hold them in - as can most people who don't have bowel issues - I just don't want to sometimes, and those 'sometimes' coincide with when I'm in the comfort and privacy of my own home. 🤷🏻‍♀️

horse4course · 14/10/2019 19:21

How old is your baby OP? Maybe DH is just being a bit ratty because of lack of sleep?

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