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Original poster

DH just asked me not to fart in front of him

348 replies

Nobhobs · 13/10/2019 21:43

I don't make a point of doing it, but every now and then it happens. It's natural and can't always be helped? He on the other hand forces out massive loud farts, makes eye contact and faces whilst he does it. I usually roll my eyes and laugh/shake my head but all in good humour. Just sat on the sofa and I let out a small one (not loud, forced or smelly) and he sighed and said "seriously can you please not fart in front of me"

I'm a bit lost for words. I'm actually a bit upset with him. He's my bloody husband and now I need to feel insecure about farting? We're completely comfortable around each other, I've just had our bloody baby he's seen far worse than a little fart. He thinks IBU for getting upset about it and thinks it's a fair request. I think he's being an arsehole.

OP posts:
Juells · 14/10/2019 08:37

HaileySherman
Personally i don't fart in front of anyone and when people do it in front of me i am grossed out/aggravated depending on my mood.....they do it anyway ftr.

I've never farted in front of anyone in my whole life - even my sister, who I'm very close with, and shared a bed with until teens. I'm the youngest of four, and the only farts I remember from my childhood were when my father would occasionally walk out into the garden and let rip if someone was in the bathroom. But he wouldn't have done it in the house.

People manage to hold their farts in while at work (I'm guessing Grin ) so why not elsewhere? Can you imagine a teacher farting in front of a class?

Fart in the bathroom. I wouldn't tolerate a housemate, whether husband or not, doing loud smelly farts and enjoying them. It's schoolboy stuff.

fantasmasgoria1 · 14/10/2019 08:41

It's a natural bodily function. You would end up with severe stomach pain if you held it in because its meant to come out. My fiance farts in front of me and i fart in front of him. Neither of us is bothered by it. His are really smelly at times so I tell him to go over the other side of the room sometimes. I actually asked him once if it bothered him when I fart in front of him and he said not at all, he does it and it's natural.

Damntheman · 14/10/2019 08:47

I'd have to get up every time I needed a fart ... and make sure I was standing right next to him in time to let rip. How dare he say such a ridiculous thing! What on earth about you farting is uncomfortable for him? Make him go into detail about why it's uncomfortable.

Failing that I second the mason jar of farts for xmas.

amusedbush · 14/10/2019 08:51

I've never farted in front of anyone in my whole life - even my sister, who I'm very close with, and shared a bed with until teens

If you shared a bed then I guarantee she's heard you fart! Grin

BuildBuildings · 14/10/2019 08:53

He sounds like a twat. It does feel really sexist if he's happy to do it in front of you. Urg.

PippiDeLena · 14/10/2019 08:58

I don't mind other people farting as long as they don't do it aggressively with eye contact to assert dominance like your DH is doing. You need to dominate him right back. While he's at work, fart on his pillow, fart on his favourite clothes, fart on his lunchbox and his phone charger. That'll learn him.

recrudescence · 14/10/2019 08:59

Can you imagine a teacher farting in front of a class?

Er, yes, did it quite often. Let it out silently and then make a big performance of tutting, opening the window and casting accusatory glances at the pupils. Every teacher learns how to do this.

LakieLady · 14/10/2019 08:59

Sit on his face and let rip op

This made me laugh so loud I woke the dog up (quite an achievement, the old girl is deaf as a post).

This is an equalities issue. He's being outrageously sexist if he thinks it's ok for him to fart because he has a penis. Farting's either acceptable or not, and the same rules need to apply to both of you.

I could never live with a man who was uptight about farting. I'd be constantly squeezing my bum cheeks together and waddling out of the room to a suitably private spot where I could unleash my flatulence.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 09:01

If not another woman, I’d almost guarantee this is his pathetic reaction to seeing your child being born. He’s been shocked with what he saw during birth and now wants no reminders of the fact you have an undercarriage. He’ll put his penis in it, sure, but otherwise- don’t draw any attention to it. It disgusts him. The prick.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 09:01

OMG that made me spit my tea out!

Lol- no it didn’t.

Wishuponaleprechaun · 14/10/2019 09:04

God, what a load of mingers on MN Envy

Been with DH for 6 years and can safely say I’ve never farted in front of him nor him me. It’s like when people go to the toilet in front of their partners...just gross.

I couldn’t tolerate a partner that kept breaking wind in front of me and there’s just no way I’d want to do it in front of a partner. Just leave the room and go to the toilet FFS, it’s not hard.

However, in response to the OP, I’d be saying I’d stop doing it in front of him, once he stopped doing it in front of me.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 14/10/2019 09:09

You need to dominate him right back. While he's at work, fart on his pillow, fart on his favourite clothes, fart on his lunchbox and his phone charger. That'll learn him

Grin This

Just leave the room and go to the toilet FFS, it’s not hard
I might as well set up camp in there if I had to do that, he;d never see me lol

Original poster
Nobhobs · 14/10/2019 09:17

I don't think it's because he's disgusted by my body after birth, I had an emergency section so he didn't see anything particularly grim. I have been farting a lot in the few months since the section but didn't really before, I was never a particularly gassy person. So I don't think he's nitpicking to get out of the family unit, as it wasn't an issue before to bring up. I like to think we're a happy family and he loves our son dearly and is great with him. I think he's just never really heard me fart before and decided he doesn't like it. I think he's an arsehole because it's blatant sexism!

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 14/10/2019 09:18

I couldn’t tolerate a partner that kept breaking wind in front of me and there’s just no way I’d want to do it in front of a partner. Just leave the room and go to the toilet FFS, it’s not hard.

If it’s not a problem for you to leave the room each time you need to break wind then obviously you don’t have uncontrollable wind, do you? The clue is in the name.

Trust me, I’d much rather not randomly fart with no warning. It’s not deliberate.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 09:19

I had an emergency section

Ahh scrap my theory then! Grin he’s just a sexist prick. Ignore him entirely.

PickAChew · 14/10/2019 09:21

If he's told you to just drop it, I think you can take that as an invitation to fart freely :o

CrowleysBentley · 14/10/2019 09:26

A friend of mine had an ex that actually sulked and gave her the silent treatment for days after she accidentally farted in front of her. He was a collosal wanker in lots of other ways too.

Wherearemyminions · 14/10/2019 09:26

I'm most windy first thing in the morning, this works great for us as I can let rip at will as DH doesn't put his hearing aids on until after his shower! We both have bowel issues, he farts a lot, always apologises during/after, if it's bad I'm usually more concerned that he might be having a flare up of his condition.
After surgery, I had the most horrific pain passing wind and really struggled, DH was most encouraging, helping me into positions to ease things and telling me to try and fart, he seemed to think I was reluctant to fart in front of him, it wasn't that, it was the super heated iron poker that appeared to have been inserted whilst they were removing other bits of me!

Original poster
Nobhobs · 14/10/2019 09:26

Our 3 month old let a massive one rip in the next to me crib this morning just as DH was getting out of bed. His eyes rolled into next year when I exclaimed "Do you mind not farting in front of your father!" He walked off towards the bathroom and I cheerily called out "Oh it's ok. You have a penis!" door slams in distance

OP posts:
CrowleysBentley · 14/10/2019 09:27

Should say him not her.

Wherearemyminions · 14/10/2019 09:36

Our 3 month old let a massive one rip in the next to me crib this morning just as DH was getting out of bed. His eyes rolled into next year when I exclaimed "Do you mind not farting in front of your father!" He walked off towards the bathroom and I cheerily called out "Oh it's ok. You have a penis!" door slams in distance

Well played woman, well played, loving your work Star

Ocicat · 14/10/2019 09:38

*I have never "farted" in front of my hubby, I think it's vile. An accidental one after birth I suppose can't be helped, but to purposefully do it in front of others is just disgusting, gave people lost all manners and respect for themselves.

My hubby doesn't fart in front of me either as he has a bit of decency about him.*

Well to be fair, it’s probably difficult to fart with a stick that far up your arse.

Ocicat · 14/10/2019 09:38

I’m now wondering whether farts would really ‘keep’ in a mason jar...

There’s really only one way to find out.

FOR SCIENCE!

Ringdonna · 14/10/2019 09:41

Say sorry CNN i didn’t know it was your turn

ClutchinMahPurrrls · 14/10/2019 09:53

Can you imagine a teacher farting in front of a class?

I used to cropdust the back row and then walk to the front of the class. By the time I'd be back at the board, the smell would hit them and they'd all blame each other.

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