Tattoos for sad memories

[Moon108]

Just seen on another group I’m on that a kid is thinking about getting a bee tattoo when she’s old enough in memory of Manchester arena attack.

Why would anyone want to permanently mark their skin with such a terrible memory. She didn’t imply that she was there or lost anyone she loves. I too watched the news and it was just the worst and gave me a horrid sad feeling just like the London terrorist attacks and 9/11.

Every time she looks at her body she will be reminded of a truly dreadful event caused by an evil person. Why do some people feel the need to do that?

AIBU to think this is a bad idea for someone so young?

Why isn’t a memory adequate? Maybe I just won’t ever get it because I’m not a tattoo person. I’ve had my own personal tragedy over the years but never felt compelled to mark my skin as a permanent reminder of this painful event. My memory is more than enough.

I think you’re approaching it from a strange angle. It isn’t a tattoo for a sad memory; it’s a tattoo of respect, of memorialisation, even one that marks bravery and resilience.

Why have memorials? Hell, why acknowledge the anniversary of someone’s death? It’s what we do as humans - we reflect on loss and we try to find some sort of meaning or comfort in it. This person is using tattooing as a medium for that.

Ultimately, you’re not a tattoo person and so won’t understand. I’m not sure it’s anyone’s job to judge why/if someone has a tattoo.

Your post sounds very judgemental which I feel is really unnecessary especially as you have no actual relationship with the ‘kid’.

Not sure about others but coming from Manchester myself, I was aware that the majority of tattoo shops were offering the Manchester Bee tattoo and all money made was being given to all victims and families... everybody came together. Nearly all of my mates have a Manchester bee, it isn't just to mark the unthinkable of what happened on that evening

Stop being ignorant!!

I guess I see it as a bit of intrusion on other people’s memory. I don’t live in Manchester and I didn’t know anyone involved so it would feel really wrong for someone like me to get a tattoo about that.

Oh and ABSOLUTELY what @Stuckinanutshell has said

It isn't harming you! It's not your body! Stop being so judgemental

How is it any of your business?

Can understand it if from Manchester or if it was a charity thing. That’s a nice thing for some of the tattoo shops to have done.

I think, if you googled and looked more into what that tattoo actually represents it may become more apparent

I have never been more proud to see everyone unite and come together. I unfortunately don't have one although when I do plan to next have a piece done, I'd love it incorporated somehow. If I'd have been financially better off to have afforded one, I know I would have had it done, but as I wasn't I was a part of many things and gave my time where I could to support. It just shows how we as people despite differences etc can come together as one and stand together even in absolutely unimaginable circumstances

Round my area people still have pictures, posters, glass blocks of the worker bee on their houses, in windows, bumper stickers on their cars.

Must also add ( to my rant ) that it didn't just effect Manchester, it effected many

I got a tattoo of a Phoenix when I got divorced, not because I was sad but because I was rising from the flames and moving on with my life.

Summer I can actually understand that and find it quite cool because it’s a personal memory to you. Something that directly affected you and you can definitely take a positive from that event happening to you.

*I guess I see it as a bit of intrusion on other people’s memory. I don’t live in Manchester and I didn’t know anyone involved so it would feel really wrong for someone like me to get a tattoo about that.

Oh dear. It isn’t WRONG and neither are you the judge of this. No one appointed you to police who is entitled to memories or tattoos. I had given you the benefit of the doubt until the second post and now I’m a little irked.

Out of interest who is entitled to the memory of an event? Do they need to be present? Related? From the areas? You’re actually putting a value on trauma by stipulating who should and should not have access to commemoration.

IF you were directly affected by the tragedy it might be an interesting debate as to ‘ownership’ of trauma BUT you’ve admitted you’re not connected at all. So all you’re doing is moaning and oddly enough dictating who can and cannot reflect on a tragic event.

Just ... move on.

There is a wonderful irony here im enjoying - those who were not directly affected should not get a tattoo for commemoration; but you (also not directly affected) can police the situation.

How very odd.

But I’m not policing it, I’m starting a conversation. I’m not stopping her, although the law is, because she is underage

I have a tattoo in memory of a friend who passed away by suicide. I feel sad when I look at it but also smile because it's a reminder of all the happy times we had.
Sometimes being reminded of something sad isn't a bad thing. Reminds us of what we had and gives us the strength to keep on going.

I have a cancer ribbon tattoo that was for charity. I also have other tattoos relating to my own personal sadness.
My choice my body.
I know a few people who had the Manchester bee tattoo despite not being there. Their choice. Their body.

My choice my body... it’s the same as “my brain, my thought” and I can judge or think whatever I like!

Of course everyone is free to do what they want and whatnot to remind them of X or Y and whilst tattoos aren't for me, I've got nothing against them.

But surely the person they're commemorating exist in your memories already and you think about them anyway without glancing at the tattoo? Likewise inking your kids' names on you, surely thinking they're great and you love them is a given and you don't need to look at a tattoo on your arm to prove it?

I'm not being sarky, I'm just curious!

My brother lives in Manchester and has that tattoo, I personally think it’s ugly but it means something to him.

I have a tattoo of flowers that to me signify the pregnancy loss we went through a few years ago. I don't look at it and feel sad. I remember. For me it helped me cope. Everyone deals with things differently.

How do you feel about people who have famous faces etc tattooed on them, who for most,they probably have never met?

Of course you can think what you like, but vocalising your judgements isn't always a good thing. A bit of sensitivity wouldn't go a miss. How people deal with sadness or grief is an individual process. The world would be a boring place if we all had the same opinions.

Yabu it is a reminder of a memory that left them with emotional scars on the inside, they're never going to forget it, it can put a positive spin in it.
Like the Orlando nightclub shootings the rainbow tattoo brought people together.

Meh, it’s a tattoo and doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else

I suppose I view most tattoos as a little attention seeking. I know a few people that have small tattoos hidden somewhere for a personal memory and I wouldn’t judge that in the same way.

I have a bee tattoo. And "always" on my ankle for the horse I lost 2 months ago. And I'm about to have a big piece on my back for pregnancy loss
Not your body, not your place to judge

I agree OP. unless she was there or was effected by it, it seems weird to me.