Tattoos for sad memories

[Moon108]

Just seen on another group I’m on that a kid is thinking about getting a bee tattoo when she’s old enough in memory of Manchester arena attack.

Why would anyone want to permanently mark their skin with such a terrible memory. She didn’t imply that she was there or lost anyone she loves. I too watched the news and it was just the worst and gave me a horrid sad feeling just like the London terrorist attacks and 9/11.

Every time she looks at her body she will be reminded of a truly dreadful event caused by an evil person. Why do some people feel the need to do that?

AIBU to think this is a bad idea for someone so young?

Why isn’t a memory adequate? Maybe I just won’t ever get it because I’m not a tattoo person. I’ve had my own personal tragedy over the years but never felt compelled to mark my skin as a permanent reminder of this painful event. My memory is more than enough.

I have several tattoos.
One in memory of my late dd.
It's very personal and does have a special meaning to me.

I’m talking about a girl that lives nowhere near Manchester, knows nobody involved in the incident and seemingly has zero connection.

She clearly does have a connection though because it has affected her enough to want to get a tattoo because what happened has so much significance to her. That’s fine. That’s her prerogative and causes no harm to anyone else.

I’m not a tattoo fan but I don’t dislike them either. To me they are no different than someone wearing certain clothes or accessories and I don’t see them as attention seeking. At least, no more attention seeking than someone wearing certain clothes or a certain colour that stands out against others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m sorry but Visiting a memorial whilst I was in nyc for other reasons is not in the same as getting a picture tattooed on my skin.

Nobody said it was. Did you read what I said?

@summersun0191

Are you Ben afflek?!

I suppose I view most tattoos as a little attention seeking.
I have my stillborn daughter's handprint tattooed on me, so I can always hold her hand.

I could give not one shiny shit if you find it attention seeking

@JasonPollack

Haha not even close, and mine isn't anywhere near as crazy as his 😂

OP, I'm not sure why so many posters are giving you a hard time for having an opinion! FFS, isn't that what a discussion forum is for?

I have a huge elephant on my arm for my dad who died just over a year ago it reminds me of him and life goes on on my left wrist. That's for me to look at when im having a bad day to remember I've been through worse and I can do it. Life goes on even when you feel it's over, you need to live not get caught it depression and self pity for ever. Day by Day it will get better

She might well have gone off the idea by the time she's old enough to get the tattoo. Or she might get a massive bee tattooed on her forehead the second she turns 18. Again, it's not your problem.

I suppose I find the bandwagon aspect of tragedy a bit Off putting. Some people I know are definitely guilty of this. Eg posting on Facebook various things and talking about it on a certain way.

@BanginChoons that is so sad and lovely.

Why would you get a tattoo about strangers though? It’s a different ball game marking your skin in reference to someone you loved!

@Doublevodka yes, it just happens that the opinion of many posters is that OP is judgemental and goady

I would definitely judge an 18 year old that had a giant bee tattooed on her forehead in memory of something she was not connected to in any way.

We judge every day and that is human nature. Even if we say on mumsnet we don’t we all do it. Whether it be parenting, fashion choices, political choices etc. And most people would judge a person that had a giant forehead tattoo

I have a sleeve of two famous women that i have never met on my left arm. One died before i was born, one a few years ago. I have them because to me they symbolise the resiliency of the human spirit, and that no matter what I go through, i can survive - they did.

Nowt really to do with you OP wether this girl gets ink or not, is it?

Ok I’ll ask the previous poster, why not just imagine the resilience of the human spirit? I like dairy milk and frogs. Not about to get either tattooed on my arm!

My brother has a crucifix with Christ on it, he also has Celtic 1888 on his arm.
I know he has never met Christ 😂😂😂 he has been to Celtic park.
A tattoo is a Personal choice.

Maybe to her the bee represents the strength of community in the face of evil and anguish. Maybe she wanted to go to that concert but couldn't. There were people there who were not from Manchester; one girl who died was from the Western Isles - maybe there are bees in her memory in the Isles.

I have several tattoos. One is a naturalistic wren on my shoulder in memory of my mother; another is an anchor on my ankle in memory of my father. After burying the latter six months after the former, I took a holiday to Glastonbury and found the first peace in the Healing Pool of Chalice Well. Before I left, I went to a tattooist and had the Chalice Well symbol tattooed on me so that I'm always ankle deep in the healing water. I have symbolic representations of two important religious ceremonies, as well as a triqueta to represent friendship - we all had slightly different versions of it tattooed. All these things represent events and people that changed me, inside and out, mentally and spiritually, and I wanted them represented in physical form.

Yet to you, it's merely attention-seeking. 🤨🤬😡😠

I suppose this discussion has just raised more questions for me. So the previous poster that has a sleeve of some famous people. Why isn’t it enough just to think about them? And each time you feel low... remember their spirit etc. How does having a picture on your arm make that feeling or thought any deeper?

What is the point in painting or looking at a sculpture? By your reasoning, there is none.

Because my MH has been awful - two nervous breakdowns in three years - and simply imagining isn't enough. I have crippling anxiety and I'm slowly learning not to believe everything my mind tells me. So an actual physical image, along with the tattooing process itself was/is hugely important to me.

Because it’s not a fucking picture, it’s a tattoo.

Getting a tattoo is an experience and when you look at it, you remember those feelings and emotions that were the reason behind getting a tattoo. Or how you felt, even if there isn’t a specific reason behind your tattoo. You know, the same way that looking at a photo brings back memories in the way that just thinking about it doesn’t.

Remember the news so clearly. Have cried over it when I visited the memorial and saw everyone’s names

So “grief appropriation” is acceptable when it’s you?

So the previous poster that has a sleeve of some famous people. Why isn’t it enough just to think about them?

By that reasoning, why keep any photos of loved ones out on display? Why keep a memento of someone who has passed? Why visit a grave?

I know what you mean Moon. There seemed to be a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon with the bee tattoos.

A colleague got her daughter's name tattooed on her wrist. I wondered if she'd forget the name otherwise!