Tattoos for sad memories

[Moon108]

Just seen on another group I’m on that a kid is thinking about getting a bee tattoo when she’s old enough in memory of Manchester arena attack.

Why would anyone want to permanently mark their skin with such a terrible memory. She didn’t imply that she was there or lost anyone she loves. I too watched the news and it was just the worst and gave me a horrid sad feeling just like the London terrorist attacks and 9/11.

Every time she looks at her body she will be reminded of a truly dreadful event caused by an evil person. Why do some people feel the need to do that?

AIBU to think this is a bad idea for someone so young?

Why isn’t a memory adequate? Maybe I just won’t ever get it because I’m not a tattoo person. I’ve had my own personal tragedy over the years but never felt compelled to mark my skin as a permanent reminder of this painful event. My memory is more than enough.

So its attention seeking to have a tattoo somewhere you don't usually cover up?

OP I get the feeling you don't really like tattoos at all so it's not really a surprise you don't like the sound of that one?

There have been several tragedies over the years. 9/11 for example. Remember the news so clearly. Have cried over it when I visited the memorial and saw everyone’s names. Would never dream of getting a tattoo on my skin for that as it is not personal to me at all. My memory is adequate. Talking about it to friends and donating money to victims etc. Is in my opinion more helpful that marking my skin with a poorly drawn picture.

I don't disagree with you, OP. I wouldn't have posted about it though because, whilst posters will happily judge anybody and everybody for things that are none of their business either, but when it strikes a chord for them personally or nicks their own sense of right, there's no judgement allowed.

Double-standards. It's always been so.

Just seen on another group I’m on that a kid is thinking about getting a bee tattoo when she’s old enough in memory of Manchester arena attack. Why would anyone want to permanently mark their skin with such a terrible memory

Why don't you ask her?

I’m just starting a conversation. I don’t need to ask the girl but if I was a family member I would discourage her getting this tattoo.

I’m from Manchester but haven’t lived there for 11 years. I don’t know anyone who was directly involved in the Manchester bombings but most of my family were indirectly affected. My brothers know people who were at the concert, my step-mum teaches kids that were at the concert, my mum and dad both work with people who were at the concert, my aunt works at Manchester hospital. Even before I knew how many of my family had been affected, the news of the Manchester bomb affected me so deeply. Much more than any other terror attack of recent times, even ones that I’ve been geographically closer to. It was the shock that someone could target a bunch of innocent pre-teens and teenagers. I went to my first concert at the MEN and the happy memories tinged with the idea that someone would attack these children who just wanted their first taste of being independent. What I love from that attack is the way Manchester came together and I am immensely proud of my hometown for that. They found a symbol and people used that symbol in any way, shape or form to show their solidarity and that Manchester would not be beaten by some lowlife. To me, that tattoo isn’t about loss. It’s about solidarity. It’s about coming together and showing that the city, even those living beyond the city limit, is stronger than any attack.

I was 6 when the Manchester Arndale bomb went off. I don’t remember much about the bomb itself but I do remember the atmosphere in Manchester. It’s something I became more aware of as I became a teenager and then moved away. As I moved to uni, I had postcards from Manchester in my room because I wanted to be reminded of my special hometown and how strong it is. This young girl, even if she wasn’t there, will be aware of the atmosphere in Manchester. The fact that in times of adversity in her life she wants to be reminded of how to rise above that and come back stronger is not something to judge her for.

I personally did not get the bee tattoo but only because my next tattoo was already decided. It’s a sad tattoo as you put it. I lost 3 family members in a very short space of time and it is in memory of them. It was sad getting it done but it’s a reminder of the happy times too and that life is precious. I don’t think a non-tattoo person will ever get it. But does it make the other momentous from a loved one sad? I have a candle holder with flowers from my grandmas funeral, her ring - should I not use those because they’re sad? Should we not light candles for those we miss? Or visit their graves? Tell stories that involve them, even if they relevant to the conversation of we’re missing them?

I'm getting one in memory of DH. He hated them and so I never got one while he was alive, but I really want one so I can look at it and feel close to him - the design is related to a nickname and our favourite place. It wouldn't occur to me that anyone else would have an opinion on it to be honest.

Is this just another thread to slag off tattoos?

I got a tattoo of a Phoenix when I got divorced, not because I was sad but because I was rising from the flames and moving on with my life.

I think the Phoenix rose from the ashes after having first been consumed by the flames.

Personally, I really don’t like the whole people needing to be involved in it. It reminds me of the time at work that some idiot boasted to me about having once gone to the gym with someone who had a close call during 9/11. I mean the link was literally they used the same gym for a period in the 90s. The way he told that story reminded me of the way someone might talk about meeting someone famous and it made me a little sad for him.

@CakeAndGin you are bang on on the meaning of it!
I wasn't directly affected, I didn't have friends, family involved, but should that matter?
A life was lost who lived not far from me, an absolute character, who was known and loved by many, a 14 year old girl I met in the village near me whilst I was shopping, who was saying prayers and broke down as she had lost one of her good friends and was trying to get people together for a vigil, I supported her in any way I could, everybody came together !

Like you I was 5, not far off turning 6 when the Manchester bombings happened, I was at the bus station in Altrincham waiting to board the bus with my mum and my 2 year old brother, when my mum all of a sudden said she had this urge not to get onto the bus, she dragged us away and it wasn't long after we heard the news that filled everywhere. It has always been a big memory for me,and I have had bosses,friends who were affected by the bombings and their stories stick with me.

It's not so much as "just getting a tattoo because of the tragedy"

I have also been to ground zero, where I have never experienced emotion like it, and I have no ties whatsoever, I have lost friends and family to suicide, i could go on.

It is nobody else's business as to what you want on your body,but don't assume it's people jumping on the 'bandwagon'

I suppose I view most tattoos as a little attention seeking.

Give me strength. I must be severely attention seeking seeing as I'm heavily covered in tattoos. Oh and it's my job too.

ME ME ME ME ME

I have a tattoo in memory of my late mother on the inside of my right forearm, and anyone who considers that that is in some way attention-seeking can, frankly, go to hell.

more helpful that marking my skin with a poorly drawn picture why would it be 'poorly drawn'?

I have a tattoo which I got after getting through a tricky few years. I got a butterfly as it sort of signified rebirth.

At the time I thought I was being really deep, but I was only 22!

I still love it though and it reminds me of how close I came to leading a very different life to the one I have now and that makes me feel very grateful. So, I think that marking sad events in this way can be a positive thing.

Honestly it's threads like this that really fuck me off.

You don't like tattoos? Fine. Don't get them. Keep your opinion to yourself.

Goady troll. I’m moving on. This isn’t a ‘conversation starter’ It’s an intentionally goady post that’s both belittling grief and shared trauma. It’s also a post that persistently mocks tattooing and even shames some eg ‘attention seeking’ when posters have commented that some tattoos they have are for deceased family members.

Clearly trolling. Leave it be.

If you’re not a troll you’re a pretty insensitive person who should consider a poop emoji tattoo.

I have 2, both hidden most of the time, one for my stillborn daughter and one for leaving a very abusive relationship. I'm thinking of getting an ovarian cancer ribbon on one of my oophorectomy scars in memory of my Mum, who would probably still be here if she'd had the surgical options that I had.

I’m not a troll. I’ve been on mn for years. Troll hunting is not allowed.

I’ve posted in AIBU which is a section for debate and conversation.

In this case, I’m not talking about personal tattoos for personal reasons. I’m talking about a girl that lives nowhere near Manchester, knows nobody involved in the incident and seemingly has zero connection. She’s not doing it to raise money for those affected. She is not old enough to have a tattoo. Why is she doing it?

There have been several tragedies over the years. 9/11 for example. Remember the news so clearly. Have cried over it when I visited the memorial and saw everyone’s names.

Some people would consider this mawkish and bandwagoning, OP. It's all relative.

(Item: I am not saying that I personally hold this view. I don't.)

No but then you say shit like you think people who have tattoos are attention seeking. That's not a debate, that's just being outright judgy and rude.

I’m sorry but Visiting a memorial whilst I was in nyc for other reasons is not in the same as getting a picture tattooed on my skin.