To think he's lying? *trigger warning*

[helpagirloutplease]

Long time poster that has namechanged.

I don't know where else to ask. I have a 4 year old to a man I haven't seen for years. He had a mental health breakdown during pregnancy and did some terrible things (held me at knifepoint, tried to drive me into a wall, strangled me, tried to hang himself infront of me ect) and beat me up.

He was a working professional, and was arrested for assault and charged, then sent to prison. He breached the restraining order numerous times resulting in him going back to prison a few times and had my name tattooed on his chest even after all this.

I attended social services meetings and a meeting with psychiatrists at the time so I know that he was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and bpd. I haven't been in contact with him since the first time the police took him away (they took him several times after from outside of my house when he breached restraining orders but I didn't open the door). There is a no contact order in place for my daughter which I think is largely because he had no interest in engaging with nhs mental health teams.

I received these messages at midnight last night. I think he's lying, why would he do this to me?

The other strange thing is that the restraining order actually ended in March so why he's contacting me in the middle of the night now I have no idea

He’s messing with you. Block and move on.

He’s doing it to hurt you.

"But I do know that his auntie died young of Huntington's."

Is your DD's GP aware of this?

OP I'm so sorry. Firstly, you don't need to contact him or any member of his family, all this will do will stoke his behaviour. As others have said inform police and Children Social Care. If he is using this to manipulate contact they're able to support you from the off. Then make an appointment with the GP, discuss everything he has said. I would also discuss with social services as they may be able to request a review of medical records in the best interests of your child. Tests can be arranged to look for genetic markers but these are usually done through the genetics centres, your GP should be able to refer you to your nearest x

I’m sorry he’s contacted you and scared you.

Like many others I would get your In touch with someone who knows your case and get this sorted through an official route.

He sounds genuine, but psychopaths do.

I would strongly suspect he’s lying. And surely he’d be using it as mitigation in his dealings with various authorities. Huntington’s is a progressive neurological condition with obvious physical symptoms.

Anyone diagnosed with it would be told the disease can’t be tested for until your 18. Why ask you to get her tested when it’s impossible.

What @yorkshirecountrylass said. Inform all the relevant people and ask the GP about accessing his medical records. Don't engage with him at all!

Sorry you're going through this OP

This screams manipulative behaviour to try and involve himself in your life again somehow.

Please dont reply, but report it. Contact SS, they can look at his medical records to confirm or deny. Then you can speak to your GP about testing.

Also contact police again. They'll likely not do anything but they will end up with having a log of things he's done, which will act as evidence if another restraining order needs to be put in place.

Let SS know and speak to your GP for genetic counselling. It's possible he's trying to control and manipulate you, so ignore and block him. If you speak to your GP they can help you, maybe look up a specialist of the disease for advice. It is just a simple test so it may be available privately to set your mind at ease.

Huntingtons usually deteriorates and gets worse, not rights itself completely and excusing terrible abuse sounds like what this man is capable of. I'm not saying he's lying and it's impossible but this man has form for control and abuse so dont engage with him at all.

Contact the ss and police and don't reply to any messages. Infact change your number too. Don't contact him directly. It's a cycle and seems to be starting again.

He’s trying to fuck with your head and upset you. I’d take anything he said to you including this, with a massive pinch of salt. I think talking to SS and the police might help in that a) you can maybe get the order reinstated and b) SS might be able to advise how to find out if he really does have HD. But don’t engage with him again. Don’t give him that power. He’s a sick twisted cunt and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s lying.

@Ponoka7 no they are not. I had completely forgotten about it all until I got this message last night.
There was so much I had to deal with when I had her it was the last thing on my mind.

Do not contact him at all or his wife or his family

Did you meet the aunt with Huntingdon’s, or do you only have his word that she existed. This is a man who lies, so doubt everything you didn’t witness.

”I’m pretty sure his hospital would have contacted your daughters GP. That’s assuming he’s told them details. I can’t see them leaving it to him to tell you.”

This from a PP.... I’m not sure how it would work, but I think, given that you can’t test your daughter for years, I’d be contacting my GP to find out what the protocol would be and whether your daughter’s GP is likely have been contacted if he was telling the truth.

Also I would contact SS to see if they can find out. Don’t engage with him obviously, but try to work out ways you might be able to find out without doing that, for your peace of mind.

He’s almost certainly lying, but it’s an absolutely shitty situation for you. You have my sympathy.

If his Aunty died of it it's very likely that he could have it. And of course he had to wait for the restraining order to end. I wouldn't be sure that he is being manipulative he might just think he needs to warn you. I would be straight down to the GP and on to SS tomorrow morning to see what they suggest. What a horrible message to receive - hopefully he is lying and you can get on with your life without further interference

I agree about contacting SS.
They can advise. This could be one of his alters but, it doesn't excuse the behaviour.

How old are his parents? For him to have it, one of his parents must have it too (and quite likely would have died of it by now). I know you're not in touch but could you do a bit of online digging? Eg are they on Facebook?

I suspect given his history that he's lying, and would certainly not reply or engage with him in any way.

I don't want to scare you OP, but Huntington does come with severe mental health issues that could indeed have explained his behaviour.
See below:
www.hda.org.uk/media/1173/mental-illness-and-capacity-in-hd-2.pdf

If you know for sure that his aunt had had it, I would not assume that he is lying and ignore it, but you do need to see evidence. And no, his doctor would not contact his child GP, he wouldn't even know who they are. He would have been told to get in touch with the mother, which he has.

I think he's lying OP. Contact the police and social services. Might be worth changing your name on Fb too.

@helpagirloutplease from a genetic point of view if his mother / father (the aunt's sibling) doesn't have it then he can't have it either as inheritance is dominant. Therefore your daughter won't have it.

Testing is technically possible from a blood test, just not recommended. Health professionals claim if a parent knew their child had Huntington's they would needlessly worry about every single cold. However if it is to rule out this sick joke I believe a good genetic counsellor might let you have the test.

What a cruel thing to do. Puts it into a different light that there is Huntington's in the family...

Hope it's resolved soon.

If he has Huntingdon's he will have documentation showing his official diagnosis and he should provide this to you - obviously through an appropriate 3rd party - SS services seems to be the best bet, so you need have no unnecessary contact with him.

If he was genuine he would have spoken to the social worker and told them before the restraining order ran out I think he is lying

My initial assumption is that this is utter bollocks.
I'd contact the police re the restraining order, and Social Services about the rest - they can either find out information for you or advise.

Hi OP,
Don't contact him at all. Contact the police and if his restraining order has expired use his immediate contact to get it reinstated. Ask the police/social services if they can find out if the information is true. I'm not saying that they have this power but with his express permission they would be able to talk to his GP.
If you can't find out the truth through these informal channels then I wonder if a court order to disclose medical records might be possible?

www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/legal_matters_and_health/access_to_medical_records.html

"Court cases
Discovery
Patients and others may access medical records for the purpose of court cases if they get a court order of discovery. The court may order a hospital or doctor to disclose or discover documents or medical records to a plaintiff's advisers where those documents are considered relevant to the issues involved in the court proceedings. "