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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your most memorable post is (not thread)

154 replies

Witchofzog · 12/10/2019 22:09

Mine is a poster who when she was quite young was chased on the motorway late at night by a gang of men who drove dangerously, too close and who behaved in a threatening way. She was terrified and ended up pulling into some services which were deserted aside from a group of lorry drivers. Terrified and crying she screeched to a halt by them, unsure whether she was jumping from the frying pan into the fire. They turned out to be her saviours who chased the car away and escorted her back to her junction with her little car sandwiched between their huge lorries. She had the name of one of the drivers (Alf?) Who she said she thought of often who had been so kind to her and who had shared his thermos of tea with her that had been made by his wife.

I have just passed my driving test but this post stuck with me, even before driving was on my radar.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 13/10/2019 06:52

Not sure if it’s been mentioned but “snapped and farted” is it for me! 😂

Bigmango · 13/10/2019 07:36

These are absolutely brilliant!

MyMuffinsStuck · 13/10/2019 07:43

witchinaditch and the discovery that it wasn't a typo with the OPs "I have IBS" explanation! She actually farted in anger!

TheFatberg · 13/10/2019 07:46

I still think snapped and farted was fake. It doesn't make sense!

Toorahtoorahaye · 13/10/2019 07:53

Bupcakes lemondrizzle thread. Wonder who she is on twitter, think she moved there.

thesurreyyouth · 13/10/2019 08:07

Every Christmas I remember the poster with the visiting suppository using MIL coming to stay. She asked mumsnet how she could get the suppository administered over the festive period as MIL was expecting the poster to do it. There were lots of useful suggestions but the one I remember is where someone replied she should blu tac the suppository to a dining chair and lower MIL on to it.

RhiWrites · 13/10/2019 08:20

You know what a hamwich is. It goes

Bread
Ham
Bread

womanvsfood · 13/10/2019 08:20

One that has always stuck with me was a thread with the title 'George Osborne' (back when he was Chancellor of the Exchequer). The opening sentence was then 'Can anyone think of a single good thing he has ever done, apart from showing that the 5:2 diet can work for some people?'.

I don't know why, but it tickled me so much. I mean, it's just so damning. I particularly love the qualification of 'some people'. He couldn't even manage to properly prove that the 5:2 diet works.

Shosha1 · 13/10/2019 08:47

Probably at least 15 years ago. A posters talking about her DH. I think they were having a outdoor party if some sort. They DH had put up one of those above ground pools. It was leaking. So he got in. With goggles and snorkel to find the leak. In the nude. As the guests arrived I cried so much my child thought something had happened

CliffsofMoherVisitor · 13/10/2019 08:47

The poster whose toddler was obsessed with going to the beach, but pronounced it "bitch pwease" etc and finally stood up in church and shouted "BITCH!" during the sermon Grin

RightYesButNo · 13/10/2019 08:50

@AGermFreeAdolescent @Emcont
Behold, it is October so time for the annual sharing of the Savernake Forest story (not mine - I cut and pasted from another thread and they’d cut and pasted from another thread). Here it is:

Warning: it's very long (sorry) and very freaky, and if anyone can come up with a rational explanation I'd be extremely grateful because I'm generally a pretty rational non-woo where's-the-evidence person, but I've never been able to explain this and it still makes my heart beat faster and the hair stand up on my arms when I think about it, years later.

I was pet sitting for my friend several years ago. She had moved into a sort of small holding right on the edge of a village in the SW, with a huge garden that backed onto trees. At the time she had a right menagerie - chickens, ducks, a couple of Shetlands, cats and four black retrievers, three fully grown and one a half grown puppy. Originally DH had been going to come with me as a little holiday but the dates she ended up having to go away for work clashed with a couple of his medical appointments so he stayed at home with our dog and I went to petsit alone.

It was about halfway through my stay, a couple of nights to go. Late evening, already dark when I heard a massive commotion from the chicken shed, banging and thumping. I assumed a fox or something had got in so went out to check. As I was halfway across the garden the noise stopped instantly as if it had been shut off; by the time I got to the shed all was calm and the chickens were all settled, mostly asleep. No sign of any intruder or disturbance at all, nothing to explain the noise or any indication that the chickens had made a noise. Bit freaky but I didn't (and still don't) know much about The Way of Chicken so I locked up again and left them to it.

As I went back in the house a small black shape ran past me out of the back door and I realised the puppy must have got out. It streaked across the garden and off towards the woods. Cue much cursing, then calling her name in vain. More cursing when she didn't come back. I grabbed a torch and put one of the other dogs on the lead, partly for protection, partly because I thought the pup was more likely to come back if I had one of her canine companions with me and partly because I didn't fancy my chances of finding my way back to the house on my own even though there were a couple of vague paths that I'd followed when walking the dogs throughout the week.

Off we trudged into the wood along one of these paths, me calling pup's name at intervals and trying not to imagine murderers and rapists behind every tree trunk. We got to a point where it felt like the trees were starting to thin out and I remember thinking that I didn't remember a clearing on this path and we must have gone wrong somewhere when the dog with me slowed right down and started to resist going forward. I tried to jolly her along - while my stomach suddenly dropped like a stone - and she started growling, a really low serious rumbling growl. By this time I was practically shitting myself. I tried shining the torch ahead but the beam just sort of bounced back off the darkness if that makes sense? I got the sense of something - or somethings - moving but just sinuous deeper black shapes against the blackness and always on the periphery of vision. (The hairs on my arms are standing up again just remembering how completely and utterly terrified I was. I have honestly never known a feeling like it.)

At this point the dog sank right down, still growling, hackles up and refused to budge. I muttered something like "Jesus, you have got to be kidding me" and this ugly gurgling inhuman sort of voice hissed, right up close as if someone was right next to me "don't say that name". At the same time there was a horrible snickering sort of laugh. I cant express how utterly petrified I was. I can't remember having any coherent thoughts apart from the word "evil". That's the only clear thing I can remember. Me and the dog were frozen to the spot with pure fear. Then a different voice, really commanding, said "GO. BACK." That sounded more in my head but echoey, where the others had sounded out in the air IYSWIM?

Wherever it came from it did the trick. Me & the dog turned and belted back through the woods. She basically towed me, I just clung onto her lead stumbling to keep up and sobbing with fear. I lost the torch somewhere on that wild run but there was no way I was stopping to find it. How I didn't run blindly into a tree I'll never know, she guided me I guess. I can remember thinking desperately that I mustn't let go of her lead or "they" would get me.

When we got back to the garden she suddenly stopped - I did fall over her this time, onto my hands and knees - turned around and started snarling, proper teeth bared, rabid-looking snarls, back at the trees and the darkness. I thought I heard the snickering again but the blood was pounding in my ears so hard I can't be sure. I scrambled up and ran to the back door and she followed me but backing and snarling all the way as if holding something at bay. Oh, and the chicken shed was banging and thumping again. I got the back door open, me and her belted in, I slammed home every bolt behind us. The other dogs left behind were staring at the door and growling too with their hackles up and when I saw all three of them, puppy included, acting like that I started to cry properly because I honestly thought I was trapped in some horror film nightmare and was going to die. I don't know - I still don't know - what the black shape was that ran past me out of the house and triggered all of this because the puppy was right there in the kitchen.

Anyway I made sure every door and window was locked and bolted, I turned on every light in the house, I wandered round mumbling all sorts of weird half-religious half-spiritual shit to ward off evil spirits. Gradually the dogs settled down and stopped growling, and eventually stopped glancing at the door. Funnily enough I didn't sleep for one second that night and I rang my DH and begged him to come over the last couple of days. I know I didn't dream it because I was covered in scratches from running through the woods and had grazed hands from where I fell over the dog in the garden.

Nothing like that has happened before or since and I hope it never, ever does. It was the single most horrible, terrifying experience of my entire life

Fizbo · 13/10/2019 08:52

The woman who went on a date with a attractive man, when she saw him in the flesh she said he looked like the model head the blind lady makes of Lionel Ritchie in the 'Hello' music video 😂

ShagMeRiggins · 13/10/2019 09:06

Can’t remember which thread it was on, or even the topic, but the poster who told the story of some fellow she fancied (possibly had gone out with once or twice) who she saw in the grocery store I think. Possibly wasn’t looking her best, can’t remember, so she slid down onto the floor to avoid him. He noticed her and when he came over she lay in the aisle and pretended to be asleep rather than have to speak with him.

I’m sure I got all the details wrong, but the sleep thing has never left me. Simultaneously ballsy and bonkers.

TooMuchSun12 · 13/10/2019 09:09

@Deadringer

One poster said that she always just banged away on the keyboard with her tits and hoped for the best.

This just made me snort laugh!

SparkyBlue · 13/10/2019 09:15

Mine is where a poster was drawn into an argument with her neighbour and shouted " I hear plenty of noise coming from your house but I've never heard the sound of a Hoover " it was something like that and it just reminds of something I could see my mothers neighbours saying and it's always made me laugh

fourfuckssake4 · 13/10/2019 10:55

"You can't jet wash a squirrel" squirrelgate in classics had me crying with laughter Grin

Witchofzog · 13/10/2019 11:06

I remember the forest thread too. It's very scary.

I love Fuck Off then you spud cunt Grin

OP posts:
Yabadee · 13/10/2019 11:12

@whereareallmyhairbands

I never saw the original but I am crying with the Sharon thing 😂

NiffleTime · 13/10/2019 11:13

The poster whose DH was having a ‘willy off’ with someone (next door neighbour) - did she ever explain what she meant??

Writersblock2 · 13/10/2019 11:37

Fat match thread and Suzy for me. I howled the place down and woke my husband up. Oh, and Sistine Chapel!
Good times. Grin

ThanosSavedMe · 13/10/2019 11:37

Can someone link to the forest one. Sounds terrifying

Marshmallow91 · 13/10/2019 11:43

I enjoyed the one today where people were talking about cebeebes and someone said about a character "She can tiddle toddle off."

Made me chuckle at 6am looking after my very awake baby Grin

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 13/10/2019 11:46

This one had me gripped, worried, scared and I still wonder every now and then if it ever got resolved!

Bit weird or not? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3117899-Bit-weird-or-not

HeadLikeAFuckinOrange · 13/10/2019 13:29

There was one thread where posters detailed their worst dates/ worst habits of men, and a poster said her date pulled down his pants and had a poo on the floor of Poundstretcher Shock
I've never forgotten that.

And a thread of TripAdvisor reviews, where someone detailed an unfortunate trip, where a prostitute called Dillie turned up at their room, looking for her man Hustler Grin

marciagetscreamed · 13/10/2019 13:42

These are great. One I remember from about a year ago -

A new poster started a very detailed thread asking if she was being unreasonable regarding her new boyfriend. I read the whole post in disbelief, it just got worse and worse. First reply was -

"You, my dear, have a cock lodger".