To feel irritated by this Facebook post?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I know, people can post what they want and I can just scroll past. But this has really annoyed me today.

I think it's safe to say people are very aware of the benefits of breast feeding, but sometimes it just isn't possible to do.

In my case, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and I physically couldn't feed her. Then I read crap like this and it just reminds me of my failure to do something I really wanted to.

So, I guess my AIBU is does this kind of virtue signalling rubbish posted on Facebook actually have any benefit, or is it just there to make the poster feel good and people like me feel bad?

If we’re going to play semantics, I suppose the slogan SHOULD be “breast is best but fed is best for women who cannot, for whatever reason, breastfeed”.

It’s just not as catchy, you know?

I found it extremely hard to come to terms with not BFing, and whilst I find it upsetting I do think it's good that the benefits are promoted so people can make informed decisions. It is unfortunate that for us it is hard, but I don't think it should mean there aren't any. However, I do believe and like facts, not just random unsubstantiated claims

These breast is best campaigns are stupid.
Reasons why I breastfed over formula:

1. Don't have to get up and no real brain function required.
2. No faffing about heating and sterilising.
3. Free
4. Helped me lose weight
5. No periods for a year
6. Extra snuggly for mummy :)
7. Don't need both hands. Can read or look at phone easily.
8. Less to carry around everywhere.
9. Can respond to crying straight away

Reasons why I thought formula would be good.

1. I'm not the only one who can feed so can go out if I need to.
2. Sore to start with.
3. Don't like flashing my boobs but have perfected the art of layering to prevent that!

I really couldn't be doing with the faff of formula over breastfeeding. The fact that it is 'better' for my kids is the cherry on the top of my very lazy reasons. The poster on the op doesn't help anyone except to make breastapo even more self righteous and wanna be breast feeders feel like a failure. The mums who chose to ff do that generally for reasons other than what's best for their babies, so the poster won't change their minds either.

Still backtracking I see

Lol, no backtracking requires denying you did something you actually did do. You're simply accusing me of saying something entirely different to what I actually said.

Stop lying about what people say, you're completely offensive: I NEVER said FF were doing bare minimum or we're lazy, nor was it implied. YOU said that.

Look, if you feel guilty or insecure about your feeding choice that's on you - but don't be so obtuse to take every conversation about the thing you're insecure about as a dig at you. I have nothing to do with how you feel about your feeding journey, YOU are displacing your guilt onto me because it's easier than facing it yourself. I couldn't give two shits if other people BF or FF - but "fed" is not best. It's simply dumb to bandy that term around

I don't like "breast is best" either. "Breast is natural" would be better because we live in a society which is grossed out by it and honestly I think a reminder that it's natural is needed.

All animals are fed by their mum when they're tiny. I've had cats and dogs over the years and they've all been different. I suppose humans are all different too.

YANBU for being irritated at an 'ad' which contains such utter and complete bullshit. Especially one which claims breastfeeding will mean higher intellectual and cognitive aptitude whilst simultaneously being written with an almost complete lack of basic grammar.

^Whilst a lot of that info is probably true, some isn't (never heard of glossier hair before!)

I’m not surprised as it is absolute nonsense; DS was BF till 19 months and still bald as an egg - no glossy hair to be seen. His hair only came in after I stopped but I am not going to assume cause and effect!

While breastfeeding has advantages you could go through most of those claims one by one and debunk them. The stronger vision because of vitamin A in breastmilk is particularly unpleasant. Vitamin A is perfectly adequate in our western diet. It is like they are unaware that in some 3rd world countries vitamin A deficiency does actually cause blindness.

These people are claiming higher intelligence for breastfed toddlers but don’t seem very bright themselves.

never heard of glossier hair before

I think this is only for the breastfed children who are being exhibited at crufts.

Surely that's

BRUFTS??

@GunpowderGelatine your posts assume I might feel guilty about it and projecting feelings you think I have about it onto me. You have no idea how I feel about my “breastfeeding journey” (another bullshit phrase) so don’t dare to try to guess how I feel. you are the one that’s offensive.

And you still haven’t answered an earlier poster’s excellent challenge, in which she absolutely agreed with me about my interpretation of your earlier posts.

Your posts are just not in the spirit of the site and it’s disgusting you should make them and then try to claim you’re not saying what you made the mistake of insinuating.

As the earlier poster said: there are but two options to feed your baby: FF or BF. If you say “fed is best” and you are not breastfeeding, according to you, you are doing the “bare minimum” by formula feeding your child.

It’s simple logic to come to that conclusion, so stop denying that is, effectively, what you said because it is literally the ONLY conclusion one can draw.

@Piglet89 I 100% KNOW you have BF issues in some way because you extrapolated so heavily "Fed is not best it is bare minimum" to "Formula feeders are lazy and only do the bare minimum for their children". I can't think why else you'd make such a weird reach?! Especially as I never even mentioned in my post how I fed my kids.

And you still haven’t answered an earlier poster’s excellent challenge, in which she absolutely agreed with me about my interpretation of your earlier posts

I didn't spot this can you point me in the right direction and I'll happily answer?

Your posts are just not in the spirit of the site and it’s disgusting you should make them and then try to claim you’re not saying what you made the mistake of insinuating

I don't think it's in the spirit of the sight to woefully misinterpret someone's post, rewrite and tag them 4 times with PA's before they've even answered and then continue to bleat on with projections once hat person has put you right.

You are the disgusting one me dear. Sort out your issues before you u leash your dramatics and ridiculousness on others

Ugh.

Fed is not best. It's the bare minimum to survive. The phrase "Fed is Best" is patronising to anyone with an ounce of intelligence.

Someone else celebrating their hard work and successes is not about you. It's about them.

I have never ran a marathon. I have tried but I'm not a natural athlete and hated it. The training made me want to die so I quit. Yes, running would be healthier for my body than sitting on the sofa with Rioja but I don't respond in the defensive when my friends share their athletic successes. I congratulate them and get on with my life. And wine. And usually some cheese too.

Life is not a competition.
You get facts
You take your decisions
You own your decisions.
If you have difficulty owning your choices or have regret then that is YOUR issue.

OP. Your baby survived their birth condition thanks to the miracle of modern science. Formula milks are a part of that miracle. In centuries gone by a baby who could not suckle like yours would most likely have died as a result of aspirating the goat or cow milk they were given. Thank god it's 2019.

On a side note. I hate that graphic. It's been produced because a lot of people are ignorant about natural term feeding but the content to me does more harm than good. It would be better to show a nursing toddler with the caption "some toddlers nurse, get over it"

“You are displacing your guilt onto me”.

I worry a bit about some things as I have explained above - but I feel no guilt because I do not view the final outcome as within my control or my “fault” as such. However, I cannot believe someone would post something so offensive about another woman’s failure to breastfeed. Just awful.

As the earlier poster said: there are but two options to feed your baby: FF or BF. If you say “fed is best” and you are not breastfeeding, according to you, you are doing the “bare minimum” by formula feeding your child.

Eh?!! Are you on drugs?

How the actual fuck do you reach that conclusion??!

Seriously walk me through it. Because actually what I mean is "fed isn't best it's the bare minimum". No more no less. Wether it's BF or FF. because your metal gymnastics could work either way. Eg:

"If you say “fed is best” and you are not formula feeding, according to you, you are doing the “bare minimum” by breastfeeding your child.

See how that works too

You owe me an enormous apology for being so utterly ridiculous and taking me along on your emotional wreck of nonsense

@SpaceDinosaur don't say that round these parts it means you think FF parents are lazy and do the bare minimum.

Now @Piglet89 are you going to Harry's this poster too???

*harras

@Piglet89 I didn't actually read your story about "failure to breastfeed" nor do I care in the least. Which shows YOU are judging yourself not me

I chose to FF from birth and hate the 'Fed is best' crap myself.

My dc has been bought up on fantastic freshly prepared food right from weaning, and never had pre produced crap etc.

My neighbour still BF's her dc at almost 4 and the amount of crap that child eats is laughable. Yet she's a huge BF advocate a proper Anna with the Banner

Double standards somewhat I'd say.

Hhhhmmmmm

I think the point is that if fed isn’t best - what is? Breastfed presumably? Which leaves only formula feeding as being fed but not best.

Put another way, if fed isn't best but is the bare minimum, how do you exceed that bare minimum?

I have to say reading it, my assumption is that people mean fed isn’t best, breast is, because otherwise I have literally no idea what people mean by saying feeding is the bare minimum because there are only two ways to feed a baby.

I agree completely Quaffy

Just cannot stand the term

This is a load of bollocks - mostly unsubstantiated made up crap. I bf both of my kids for convenience for me. I don’t care what anyone else does. Although statistically at a population level breast milk is better for children there are so many other variables that are as, if not more important. Support women who want to bf of course but don’t be blinded into thinking it’s as important as some would have you believe. The overzealous promotion of bf by some on FB is ridiculous - we get it you bf, no one cares.

But MarthasGinYard you're doing the same as your neighbour, you're calling pre-made weaning foods 'crap". So you're judging her the same way as she judges you......