To feel irritated by this Facebook post?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I know, people can post what they want and I can just scroll past. But this has really annoyed me today.

I think it's safe to say people are very aware of the benefits of breast feeding, but sometimes it just isn't possible to do.

In my case, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and I physically couldn't feed her. Then I read crap like this and it just reminds me of my failure to do something I really wanted to.

So, I guess my AIBU is does this kind of virtue signalling rubbish posted on Facebook actually have any benefit, or is it just there to make the poster feel good and people like me feel bad?

@HeyDuggeesCakeBadge yeah? Well the insults seem to be being hurled both ways. I don’t think calling BF advocates a “lobby”, as I have done, is insulting: that’s exactly what they are.

On the other hand, saying, as @GunpowderGelatine has, that those of us who really really struggled and were so upset about our failure to breastfeed are doing the “bare minimum” in formula feeding is enormously insulting.

Fed is best, ignore the rest.

And just scroll on with your day.

I didn't read it as that piglet. I think it was against the 'fed is best' mantra - feeding your child is a bare minimum of parenting.

It’s an inconvenient truth and that gets people’s backs up, hence the cringey comments about being highly intelligent and the articles undermining breastfeeding.
If it were black and white this thread and others would be around two pages.
The truth is cows milk isn’t designed for human babies, it’s for calves which have absolutely no relationship or similarities with human babies, their bodies have completely different needs etc. then there is also the products that are added to it. There is also the question of what feed those animals are eating , are they exposed to chemicals, the female cows could also be on medication (they frequently are) and these cows are supplying the milk to formula-fed babies. That is a fact.
There is also the issue of the energy that is being used to process all this milk and packaging etc, in a world where we are becoming increasingly more aware of and rightly concerned about plastic and energy usage. There is a completely natural and viable alternative and the reality is the majority of mothers don’t breastfeed in Ireland and the UK (I imagine in America too but ding know the figures and Europe and I believe Ireland supplies huge quantities of formula to Asian countries also)
The people who feel threatened by the completely natural process of a human mother giving their baby human milk are in the majority and any push to breastfeed is positive whether you like it or not as the rates are too low. And it would save health services lots of money down the line and I’m sure would reduce the amount of infections babies get in the first year etc.
If someone can’t breastfeed for medical reasons that is entirely separate.
Also people dismissing the benefits down the line are also deluding themselves. There is a lot of research now into gut flora and the effect it has on the overall health. Giving highly processed cow milk mixed with veg oil etc does not benefit the sensitive gut flora of a new baby so can lead to health issues not just initially but also down the line.
The really strong and aggressive language on this thread are mainly from those who have formula fed (out of interest I would also guess that they were formula fed too). This is actually interesting to read as the responses and reactions are really telling.
Women post birth should be supported as much as possible in every way and encouraged to feed their babies naturally. In holland I believe they are given extra support for the first few weeks to establish breastfeeding. If women can’t due to medical issues, of course it’s wrong for people to make them feel awful. That’s not the issue here though.

QueenofmyPrinces it was a misjudged joke - I was tickled by the idea that the breastfed babies were your colleagues.

I'll get my coat..

I wish they'd stop peddling this BF propaganda.

Piglet, I struggled immensely feeding my first child, I had so much support to enable me to continue to try and thankfully eventually succeed. A lot of people don't have that support and do not continue - but if this was normalised and women support each other we could get more people breastfeeding. Lobby has such awful Connotations when most women don't want to make others feel bad but support.

Also QueenofmyPrinces I did agree with your post calling out the unfair comment about common sense being the differentiating factor.

any push to breastfeed is positive whether you like it or not as the rates are too low.

Wrong. any push is not positive. Mindless stupid useless posters in GP’s surgeries and midwives’ clinics saying “breast is best” are pointless. We know breast is best - we aren’t thick. We know and have considered all you said in your post. A push that is positive is practical, real life breastfeeding support, quick diagnosis of tongue ties in babies etc.

I find the approach of breastfeeding advocates Who just quote the benefits of Bf and the downsides of FF so unintelligent. I know it all - but knowing all that information doesn’t miraculously make my son better able to latch or cut his tongue tie etc.

A large part of why BF rates are low in the U.K. is because the state funded support is just not there, as I have explained in my earlier posts.

LonginesPrime* - I get it now

Longines

I got you

I'd also go visions of a staff of Boss baby types

There is a formula feeding lobby in Ireland, they give out bottles in hospitals to new mothers , they offer formula to new mothers. The formula making industry is a key industry here. There is a lobby here , maybe not in the UK but definitely here. ( FYI Ireland is a separate country to the UK)

@HeyDuggeesCakeBadge point taken. Sadly, there are a few who are just here on this thread to make us feel bad, like @GunpowderGelatine

Disgraceful.

I am as happy as I can be, what with virtue signallers like you reminding me that breast is better at every fucking cut and turn

@Piglet89 I don't think you understand what a virtue signaller is, however if you get this upset over the scientifically objective position that BF is better than FF then you should probably step away from this thread.

FWIW I BF my 3 DC for 9 mths, 2 weeks and 2.5 years respectively. It's all academic now they're teens and I have to worry about them living on takeaway washed down with the occasional alchopop .

GPs’ surgeries

I’m so annoyed, my grammar is slipping.

@PegasusReturns ha that did make me smile.

I’m not upset about the scientifically proven position in and of itself though - just that being reminded again and again of it would not have improved our “breastfeeding journey”. It’s like banging my head against a brick wall.

Anyway will bow out, this won’t go anywhere. The majority of mothers formula feed anyway so they shouldn’t feel threatened or guilty as it’s very much the norm.
I really hope in the future that health services could improve the support they offer to breastfeeding mums and those who are struggling as it’s not easy at all especially when people are so busy anyway and demands of life get greater.
Best of luck to all of you

How’s your daughter doing now OP 😊

Fed is best, regardless of where the milk comes from. 2 dc, one bf for 6 weeks, one approx 10 weeks. It was too hard and painful for me. I didn’t care when I stopped, some people tried to make me feel guilty, my babies were being fed, growing, happy and healthy! That’s all I cared about! For what’s its worth they are/were both on the G&T register. So 🤷🏻‍♀️. What a way to try and make mums feel crap. Some don’t care and 🖕like me, others this type of thing can really upset and affect mums mental health.

@Piglet89 I think a big part of the issue is that you know but actually many don't.

You're not the intended audience for those posters: it's for the women whose MiLs are insistent that BF "spoils" the baby, or the dads that see breasts as sexual and don't want them "ruined". It's for the unsupported women who like the idea but are literally on their own and have no idea that there are services that can support.

No but there are too many resources spent on those posters and not enough funding practical support, I think.

I mean, honestly - 8 days before a midwife visit when we were really struggling? We didn’t stand a chance.

because you have said those of us who are formula feeding are doing the “bare minimum” and suggested we are lazy and not making enough of an effort when, for some of us, it was really the only option.

WOW!!! I have seen some extrapolation and projection in my time on this site but that takes the biscuit. I said feeding a baby is bare minimum. Never mentioned the method, never mentioned lazy - why are you lying and making stuff up @Piglet89 ???

Did you face significant challenges with breastfeeding? Bet you didn’t, otherwise you’d never make such a hurtful and incendiary comment and might have a bit of empathy

Yes actually, I had a very heavy PP bleed which resulted in surgery and 2 blood transfusions which affected my supply. My DD then took 14 hours to latch. She lost 13% of her body weight in 5 days and I had to express every 2 hours on top of breastfeeding well as feeding for weeks to get my supply up. I had to use a nipple shield for 5 months, and I got mastitis 3 times. For the first year she woke almost hourly for feeds in the night. It was a fucking nightmare but I went on to feed her to age 3.

Also I didn't make hurtful comments. For some reason YOU decided in your head that me saying "fed is the bare minimum" = "waaah she's judging me and saying I'm lazy". It's not my fault if you decide to project your insecurities onto someone else

Also it's tremendously important that the NHS puts out positive messages about BF. They don't NEED to do the same for FF, multi million pound companies already do that plentifully, and very well as they have people believing formula milk is the same as breast milk. Breastfeeding needs someone to fights it's corner, NHS is perfect. I'm baffled as to why on earth someone would object to this?!

Honestly I think some people judge themselves, and they think it's other people judging

This was never meant to be a breastfeeding versus formula feeding post.

It was me saying that I know breast is best, but putting things like this on social media media just isn't helpful to those who have absolutely no other option but to formula feed.

I’m not upset about the scientifically proven position in and of itself though - just that being reminded again and again of it would not have improved our “breastfeeding journey”. It’s like banging my head against a brick wall.

I know what you mean, don’t hurt your head Piglet . Plenty of mums start out with the intention of breastfeeding and then stop for one reason or another - I reckon quite often because of lack of support. No amount of ‘breastfeeding is better because...’ will help in that situation - if anything it then just serves to guilt trip (whether intentionally or not) those who have struggled. The ‘breast is best’ rhetoric hasn’t improved breastfeeding rates at the end of the day - maybe that statistic is the one that should really be focussed on and addressed.

I couldn't get annoyed about it. Struggle to get annoyed by what other people post. If you know in yourself that it's crap then who cares