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Original poster

My GP was literally angry and told me off..

235 replies

Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:06

I'm losing sleep over this, so hope someone has any advice. I went to my GP yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have been feeling extremely run down and have had achy legs for over a week. It's become so bad that I even struggle to walk up stairs. One leg has also suddenly gone very purple, due to clear veins and spider veins, that have appeared out of nowhere. I thought I might be anaemic, as that happened to me when I was pregnant with DD.

Anyway, as I got in, it was clear that he was in a bad mood. DD was with me and she wanted him to say hello to her teddy and he didn't even look at her. I told him my symptoms and he said "why are you here? You should be seing a midwife". I said my next appointment with her is in two weeks. He then went on a rant about how I was now in the midwife's care, due to pregnancy, and that I shouldn't go to the GP for things anymore. The midwife should be the first stop. Then he went on for ages about the different types of funding given to midwives, compared to doctors, and basically, in so many words, said I was taking advantage of the wrong type of funding.

I told him my midwife is very far away, so it's hard to go see her apart from the set appointments. There is no midwife in my area, and the nearest one is quite far away. When I said this, he said "this is not about what is more convenient for you". He then said that for some people it might be very convenient to go to A&E with a cold, but that doesn't mean it's right.. I asked if I could get the blood test anyway, and he eventually said "yes, but I don't see the point".

I left feeling distraught and shocked. He was literally angry! No joke! DD needed the toilet, and whilst in there with her I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying. I tried to speak to the lady in reception, but couldn't get a word out as I was crying so much. Luckily, a female doctor happened to be in the reception at that time as told me to come to her office. I still struggled to speak, but eventually told her what had happened and she said the other doctor was wrong and that I was perfectly entitled to see the GP that day. She even said that I can come there for anything, even stuff that's pregnancy related. She understood that the midwife is far away, and said that they actually do have a local midwife, but that she's on maternity leave and hasn't been replaced.

I'm now wondering whether to formally make a complaint against the angry GP. You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less! Anyone can become anaemic, and they are supposed to see their GP for that, so why can't a pregnant woman? How am I supposed to know what I can see my GP for, and what I can't? If I break my leg am I supposed to call the midwife? If not then how am I supposed to know where to draw the line? And how the hell am I supposed to know about the different types of NHS funding?! Or is complaining a bit over the top?

OP posts:
Fallofrain · 12/10/2019 10:33

There is lots of funding and commissioning issues in the nhs that are incredibly frustrating to those who work there. In my job half of our pot of money has been given to an alternative service to procide certain things. We are no longer paid to provide certain treatments, and this other charity is. However gps (the one who agreed to give the funding) still refer to us for said treatment, and patients (understandably) are not very understanding of why my team no longer provides this type of treatment and they have to go else where.

Its infuriating HOWEVER its never the fault of the patient sitting in front of me. Its politics, and its not okay to take that out on one person. My job can be to help them navigate services (eg. You used to come here for that but now we no longer provide it, the service that is set up for that is ...) but not to shout when they get it wrong.

Please do Talk to pals. Perhaps this gp is blinding by his own frustration that someone else needs to explain to him that this is upsetting people and not the right way to go about it

Actionhasmagic · 12/10/2019 10:34

I get that we all have bad days but this is just mean.... I would have cried too

diddl · 12/10/2019 10:34

", but the occasional one has totally bought into the stuff they get told at medical school about how important/clever/better than everyone else they are."

Do they really get told that?

Whilst I understand that academic ability is important, surely a "bedside" manner also is?

Equally or even more so?

Endless medical knowledge isn't much good if patients don't feel comfortable telling you what's wrong, or leave things out because of rudeness/brusqueness.

ElizaDee · 12/10/2019 10:44

You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less!

Why? Does your NI go up when pregnant?

I think we all need to be prepared to see/hear more of this as the decimation of the NHS increases. Dr's will become increasingly frustrated.

As for crying so much you couldn't speak, that's a bit extreme isn't it?

LaurieMarlow · 12/10/2019 10:46

Why? Does your NI go up when pregnant? ...As for crying so much you couldn't speak, that's a bit extreme isn't it?

Well aren’t you the charmer Hmm

NHS provision is based on need, not how much you put in the pot. Are you a UK native? How has this basic fact passed you by?

knittedgoldfish · 12/10/2019 10:52

Similar thing happened to me when pregnant. GP refused to examine me for a medical issue and sent me away.

I sent a formal letter of complaint to the practice manager and when I went to the hospital to see the midwife and explained what had happened, they were so angry that they called up and complained too.

Just because you're pregnant does not mean all medical issues are the purview of the midwives.

SlightlyWizened · 12/10/2019 10:59

I hope that you have actually had someone look at your leg.
Your distress sounds totally understandable.

ghostofharrenhal · 12/10/2019 11:04

As for crying so much you couldn't speak, that's a bit extreme isn't it?

No. OP was feeling run down and ill and rightly worried about her leg, then had someone whose job it is to take care of her rant at her.

DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 12/10/2019 11:10

Your NI certainly doesn’t decrease whilst your pregnant and your body is under an enormous amount of stress to bring a new (future NI payer) Into the world!

Whilst pregnancy should not entitle you to more or better care than anybody else you should be treated with the same priory/ respect and sensitivity that anybody with a similar medical condition (making them prone to symptoms and side effects is).

Does diabetes, cancer or other long term health issues increase your NI payments? No...but you require more apt’s/care than a perfectly healthy person!

Passthecherrycoke · 12/10/2019 11:10

Loads of people cry at the doctors. It’s probably one of the most common things they see, pregnant or not. What with people being ill and all, emotions can be all over the place.

Even more so when pregnant

Blankspace4 · 12/10/2019 11:12

Definitely complain, in writing. I’d also recommend sending a copy of your complaint to the CQC (Care quality commission) who regulate health services (presuming you are in England, if not there will be an equivalent). The CQC check services are not only “Safe” but also “Caring” and you received anything but.

Dowser · 12/10/2019 11:29

He sounds awful..or just very stressed
But should not havecspoken to you like that
I’d have another appointment with the other doctor and mention it to her
I’m pretty sure she will be onto it

Greyhound22 · 12/10/2019 11:30

I haven't read all the replies OP and I'm ignoring the complaint bit but have you been to A&E for your leg? Please do - I had DVT/PE last year and my pregnant friend did last week.

I'm jumpy reading it. If you haven't been please go today.

AnneElliott · 12/10/2019 11:53

Definitely complain op. That behaviour is unacceptable and it doesn't mater if he's stressed!

I'm stressed. I'm responsible for billions of pounds of public money, my Secretary of State works 7 days a week and expects us to as well. I sometimes don't get time to use the loo but I would never treat a member of the public like this - I'm well aware I'm a public servant and it's my job to help them if they need it.

BrendasUmbrella · 12/10/2019 11:57

The way he reacted was off but I think you can show a little human empathy and give him a pass this time.

He didn't show her a little human empathy...

He is in a position of power over vulnerable people. Taking out his frustrations on them is not only very unprofessional, it could literally end up causing harm.

Complaining will not get him in trouble. His career will be absolutely fine. But it could - hopefully - flag up that he needs some intervention. At the very least he might think twice before unloading his anger on a pregnant woman who is rightfully worried about her health.

beachcomber70 · 12/10/2019 11:58

I'm hoping you are getting seen OP. Do not let his attitude affect you seeking medical care.
I had an awful time with one doctor here once, who was rude and sarcastic, unhelpful and snivelling about his job. I was in tears and did not report as my self esteem was rock bottom at the time.

However if I was ever offered an appointment with him after I checked who I was to see at the surgery I told the receptionist emphatically that I would not see him...ever. I found out other patients were doing the same and no one liked him. He left the surgery, suddenly.

Zoidbergonthehalfshell · 12/10/2019 12:05

Definitely complain. However stressed he was, treating you like that was unforgivable. I would have been in tears too.

@beachcomber70 you don't live in a village beginning with L in the East of England, do you? Just wondering - that sounds awfully familiar...

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 12/10/2019 12:08

Are you going in to have your leg looked at, OP? I really think you should, the complaint deserves to happen but can wait until after the leg has been checked out.

beachcomber70 · 12/10/2019 12:27

Zoidberg No I live in the South West...but who knows where the doctor moved to.
I've been talked to by a few doctors in my time in ways which I was extremely unhappy about. I fear they are a bit untouchable as it's their word against yours...and they close ranks too within a practice.

To balance my view...I've been treated very, very well, with respect and good care by many health workers. The vast majority are amazing and have my full respect.

SeaToSki · 12/10/2019 12:29

Please get the leg looked at properly. If you are cleared for anything serious, consider taking a magnesium supplement. The full RDA. Most people are low in it anyway and pregnancy adds to that. One of the main symptoms is aching limbs and exhausted feeling limbs

middlemuddle · 12/10/2019 12:31

I'm sorry OP, that would have upset me too. You aren't to know and he sounds wrong too.

ScreamingBeans · 12/10/2019 12:37

The way he reacted was off but I think you can show a little human empathy and give him a pass this time.

Why? Why does the OP owe this man who behaved so unprofessionally a little human empathy? He showed her none. Why should she show him any? He's in a position of respect and trust and his lack of empathy for the OP is actively dangerous for her, while any lack of empathy she shows to him is irrelevant to him.

Why are women always urged to show empathy to men who behave appallingly?

Notodontidae · 12/10/2019 12:49

I'm with some of the posters here, that he is burnt out, that said if he has spoken to you that way, he has probably done it before to other vulnerable patients, so you must complain for his sake and others. The NHS is in crisis, Pharmacy's are restricted without doctors say so, Doctors are restricted without some government official, telling them what they can and cannot do, and there are more patients than a Doctor can cope with. The population is rising, millions of houses being built, which means not enough schools, not enough doctors, not enough, gas, oil, electricity, & water, Clogged up roads, not enough farms, and a shrinking countryside.

CleopatraTomato · 12/10/2019 12:52

Honestly who would be a GP? "Talk to my daughter's teddy" - how rude were you?! He is an extremely busy professional.

You caused a complete scene to get what you wanted. I am sure if you had gone in and simply explained, let him look, agreed to see the midwife when he said it was not seroius, not argued over how convenient it was for you then you would have been fine.
We only have one side of the story and in most cases there are two sides.

lottiegarbanzo · 12/10/2019 12:52

Never make excuses for someone who has power over you. It is not up to you, the patient, to absorb the unreasonable consequences of a GP's 'burn out'.

His colleagues, management, friends and family are there to do that.

The same rule goes for relationships, managers at work etc.

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