Rude comments from customer when pregnant

[Imtootired]

I am now around 32 weeks pregnant so belly is quite noticeable. I work in a supermarket and I’m quite happy to talk about it, for example a lot of older ladies will ask “are you having a baby?” “How far along are you?” “Is this your first?”. I’m getting excited so those sort of questions are actually quite nice and I have worked in the same place for ages I so have a lot of regular customers I talk to a lot. I was working the other day and someone I’d never served before had lots of tins still in the cardboard base. The customer was a nondescript lady, possibly 40-50. I said if you’d like to take the tins like this could you please lift them from the checkout because I can’t lift heavy things at the moment. She said that’s fine and asked if I’m pregnant. I replied yes. Then she asked “are you happy about that?”. I asked what she meant and she asked if it was an accident or planned. I was a bit surprised and said that’s a bit of a personal question. She then said I work in customer service and it’s part of my job to talk to people! I said I’ve never had anyone ask that before and it’s an inappropriate thing to ask. Conservation stopped there but I was still professional, asking if she wanted cash out, gave her receipt etc. I was feeling a bit weird after that. I guess I’m lucky it’s been only one main incident but it’s kind of made me uncomfortable working with the public. Like I said most of my customers are lovely and I’ve only got a few weeks to go before I start my leave so it’s not too bad. I guess I’m asking AIBU to want to work without complete strangers asking about my personal life/family planning/sex life? I would never in a million years ask that of anyone!!!! It seems like she was missing some important social skills. Has anyone had anything similar?

No, it might not have been polite, but I had plenty of people (friends and family) that asked if my pregnancy was planned! Some people just don't have a filter I'm afraid

HRTFT but this puzzled me: I said if you’d like to take the tins like this could you please lift them from the checkout because I can’t lift heavy things at the moment.

I've never seen a till operator lifting things for a customer. They sit behind the till and scoot stuff along. What am I not understanding?

If OP had said 'a woman' people would have been asking 'how old? Do you think she might have signs of dementia?'

Describing someone isn't an insult. The word nondescript isn't an insult.

The word nondescript isn't an insult.

It certainly isn't.

I really don't think it's anything to get worked up over, I'm a very open book so if someone asked me I would have just said yes I'm very happy thank you. I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, maybe that's because I worked in retail for years so used to personal questions.

Its a very odd question to ask a stranger you just wouldn't. But I remember my mum used to say my brother was an accident and it's been a running joke. He's not loved any less. I think it would be a question you would ask close friend or family.

I find the “nondescript” description a touch too. Am having difficulty imagining a teenager or 20 something being described in such a way.

That said, she was rude and inappropriate. I like @rosegoldivy’s suggested response but probably a bit much if you value your job.

When I was pregnant with my twins so many people said to me 'You're massive! You sure it's not twins?'
When I said it was, they were invariably surprised.
Why tell someone they look like they're having two if you don't think they are?
Best was the woman in the post office who said 'God, if I was having twins I'd literally top myself'.
Though that still doesn't beat the woman who, seeing my twins in their completely separate seats in a double buggy, asked 'Are they Siamese?'

Some people are rude to anyone, but pregnancy seems to bring out the worse.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I was shopping in my local town with my toddler, when a young woman, around 17 years old, actually shouted to me " should have taken it up the arse instead luv " to her mates amusement.
Fortunately for her, busy traffic stopped me following her across the road and punching her teeth down her throat.

I don't think your description is nondescript OP.
I'm a nondescript 50 odd year old woman myself.

Sorry. I don't think your nondescript description is insulting OP, is what I meant to type.

Weird question to ask you maybe you could have said "and was your mother happy about you?"

Personally I find it rude. I've heard of lots of friends have rude and inappropriate things said to them and I'd always call it out if I overheard it but never have. That said, during my pregnancy though I didnt experience the level of crap alot of people seem to I did have one instance where a man, seeing me typing away on my laptop in a cafe, told me that I should be at the gym not spending my time on my laptop. I just laughed and said I'd already been that morning thanks (which was true and shut him up). But to be honest I'm not sure what his comment was all about. I was very obviously pregnant. I'm not sure if he was making a fat comment or if it was a youth of today type comment I.e. I'm wasting a sunny day on my laptop judgement thing. Either way I was actually working, as I'm self employed, on a well paid project and though pregnant was going to the gym at least 5 times a week at that point. Very odd.