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Original poster

To think son took this?

148 replies

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 13:07

Name changed as don't want this thread to follow me around

Son is 16 and a few days ago husband (not his dad) noticed son money missing from his account. Today he's looked at his statement and he hasn't been to these shops and spent this
£15.00 at GAME, £5 at tesco and £20 at MAC.

Do you think this is son? What should I do?

OP posts:
MrKlaw · 11/10/2019 15:19

I don't think you can set up apple/google pay without a confirmation text going to your registered phone number or email. It is possible but less likely than just swiping the card for an afternoon.

Can't you just play innocent in front of DS? DH says about these weird transactions to you, you mention maybe its fraud and you should call the bank, maybe the police - not at all confronting DS just to see if any reaction.

If he has set up something like google/apple pay on his own personal phone, I assume you can call the bank and get them to cancel? I know you can cancel from the phone but DH doesn't have the phone so you can't be sure.

TheQueef · 11/10/2019 15:21

On the statement beside the transactions should be a code for transaction type.
Google your bank plus transaction codes so you know if he pinched the card (card present transactions) or has it stored somewhere (card not present) he could be not taking the card at all.

Imo it's very unlikely to be a clone, even if you get cloned in the local petrol station they don't make a card they sell the numbers on, in bulk. Scammers bu y numbers in bulk

Original poster
OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 15:21

His phone is on pay as you go so I sometimes pay for that if he doesn't have any money left over.

OP posts:
msmith501 · 11/10/2019 15:26

I may have missed it but have you actually mentioned this to your son? I think it's perfectly ok to mention that some outgoings have shown up on the bank statement for stores used by your son and does he know anything about them? If you know him well - and you will - his reaction should be telling.

Original poster
OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 15:27

No i haven't asked son yet as he's been at college today and isn't back yet

OP posts:
HeyNotInMyName · 11/10/2019 15:28

Not giving him the pin wont change anything as all the stuff that ws bought was under £30. No need for the pin then.

TryingToBeBold · 11/10/2019 15:30

Firstly.. on your banking apps you can tell if they are contactless.
If it has the contactless symbol then it's likely to have been the genuine card used. Although your bank will confirm if the transactions were completed on a cloned card.

If contactless or chip and PIN and the card was still in your DH wallet then it does indicate someone has used it and put it back.

I know you've changed the PIN but yea never give that out. As soon as you do you'll be liable for the whole lot.

If you haven't told your DS about this.. you could see if he would take it again but it sounds like he only did it when you said no to money so its unsure whether he would do it again.
You could have an honest conversation with him.. completely understand why you're suspicious

Slappadabass · 11/10/2019 15:32

I'd have a conversation with your OH in ear shot of your DS, say you have been in contact with the bank and police about the transactions and they want you to go look at the CCTV of the person using the card. Watch for his reaction, that will tell you everything you need to know.

Id definitely be getting more proof before accusing though.

Evilspiritgin · 11/10/2019 15:36

I agree with above poster, if he’d set up Apple Pay dh would get an email to say the new device had been activated I also got an activation code sent when I changed my cards recently

Also if dh has Apple pay himself it shows the time the cards was used plus it shows on a map where the shop is

melissasummerfield · 11/10/2019 15:42

So strange that a large proportion of responses to this are to set a trap or have a fake conversation in front of him Confused

Just ask him when he gets home, its quite simple really! As his mother i imagine you will be able to tell immediately if he is lying or not Hmm

Rachelover60 · 11/10/2019 15:48

The first thing to do is speak to your son about it. Be very serious and calm. See what he says. He may admit, he may lie (which you will know), or he may not have done it though it looks as though he did. I'm sure if he did do it, he feels terrible!

LightandShadows · 11/10/2019 16:06

Keep old card in normal place in wallet

Put new card somewhere else in wallet, one of the back hidden compartments if possible

LightandShadows · 11/10/2019 16:07

Son will soon get a shock when card declines on him

TryingToBeBold · 11/10/2019 16:09

Agree about the CCTV/bank want you to provide ID for all those that live in the house. See if that conversation gets him to admit anything.
Take it from someone who works in the finance industry.. its rarely innocent in cases like this. And yes.. if your case goes to the right team.. they will actually ask info like this

perplexedagain · 11/10/2019 16:14

Personally I think you need to have a conversation with your son and explain that there are some unexpected transactions on the card and before you contact the fraud team at the bank you just wanted to double-check that he hadn't accessed the card for any reason because these are the types of questions DH will be asked.

perplexedagain · 11/10/2019 16:15

And if it was your son, give him a chance to put this right by paying the money back

HappyParent2000 · 11/10/2019 16:21

We keep our cards in a locked safe for this sort of reason.

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2019 16:30

“ We keep our cards in a locked safe for this sort of reason.”
Blimey. Isn’t that a bit inconvenient to carry round Bluewater?

jelly79 · 11/10/2019 16:31

Ring the bank or look at the specific times? I wouldn't accuse him before I knew for certain the card hadn't been cloned

Winteriscomingfast · 11/10/2019 16:33

We keep our cards in a locked safe for this sort of reason.

Because you cant trust your own children? Bizarre.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 11/10/2019 16:37

q

PurpleDaisies · 11/10/2019 16:44

We keep our cards in a locked safe for this sort of reason.

What have your family done to make them untrustworthy like this?

ChilliMayo · 11/10/2019 16:51

How awful.
I would want him to fess up. I'd 'remind' dh over dinner tonight that he needs to pop into the bank on Monday morning. Because the bank will have received copies of the cctv footage of the person who committed the fraud and needs him to watch it before reporting to the police. Obviously, prime your dh to expect this.
And see if your son has the front to confess. I bet he will wait till you're alone and sidle in.
Where you go from there is up to your dh really. But how bloody sad to have to live with such suspicions in your own home.

Original poster
OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 17:00

I've told son about the transactions and we will have to call the bank and possibly the police. And son just said "ok".

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 11/10/2019 17:04

He didn’t deny it?

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