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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think son took this?

148 replies

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 13:07

Name changed as don't want this thread to follow me around

Son is 16 and a few days ago husband (not his dad) noticed son money missing from his account. Today he's looked at his statement and he hasn't been to these shops and spent this
£15.00 at GAME, £5 at tesco and £20 at MAC.

Do you think this is son? What should I do?

OP posts:
Stevienickssleeves · 11/10/2019 13:28

Does your H have his card? Could your son have borrowed it? If so it would have been simple for him to do contactless for amounts less than £30.

He could have also set it up for a wallet app on his phone if he had access to the card, then wouldnt have even had to take it with him (samsung pay for example). My advice; ring the bank, cancel the card, keep the new one where it can't be accessed.

readingnc · 11/10/2019 13:28

"DS couldn’t do this unless he physically took DH’s card and used the touch pay facility without the need to use a PIN."

That's not true. He could've saved the card to his phone, watch etc and be using contactless that way.

Find out the time it was used and ask game if you can have a nosy at their CCTV. Or check sons phone for stored cards

Original poster
OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 13:32

DH keeps his card in his wallet and son knows.

I'm not sure if his girlfriends wears mac makeup.

I'm not sure if he's got a new game or if his girlfriend has got a new lipstick.

When son was younger he did take my money a few times and I caught him doing it.

OP posts:
MaryLane93 · 11/10/2019 13:34

Have you checked whether they were paid contactless or not? Doesn't apply if he knows the pin though.

Sounds like it was him and he did it because you said no and he felt that you were being unfair or to get back at you, either way I would be having a serious sit down with him and working out an appropriate punishment (like paying you back by doing household jobs).

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/10/2019 13:36

I have had smallish amounts taken from my account before.

I certainly didn’t go into Carphone Warehouse in Epsom and spend £2 and £5 in Game don’t know anyone on my family who would.

Check that it is not just a fishing transaction before blaming your Ds.

Could his gf have took the card details

Rachelover60 · 11/10/2019 13:37

You can't be sure your son took the money. Surely your husband can get on to his bank for my details and tell them he didn't authorise payments on those occasions.

If you really do believe your son is guilty, talk to him about it. Not much point talking to us, we don't know him.

AJPTaylor · 11/10/2019 13:37

I would call the bank and find out/report the transactions
Then I would tell son that suspicious activity has taken place and being investigated. His face should tell you if it was him. Or his girlfriend.

Original poster
OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 13:38

He has used DHs card before and he knew the pin (DH asked him to get something) but not sure if he would still remember it

OP posts:
DollyRose · 11/10/2019 13:41

He could have just looked at the card details and entered them into Google or apple pay so used his phone as contact less. They are all under £30.00 so this seems feasible.

notfromstepford · 11/10/2019 13:42

Could be cloned card. Happened to us, bank called to see if we'd spent £8.57 + £11ish in a pub 200 miles from home on a Tuesday night - erm nope. So card cancelled and new one issued. They spend small amounts to begin with to see if it works then hit with a massive purchase and ditch the card. Don't automatically assume it's your son in the first instance.

CheshireChat · 11/10/2019 13:42

Hmm, what would happen if you told him you're going to report the transactions as fraudulent and see what he says?

1099 · 11/10/2019 13:43

I'd be tempted to mention to son that you think someone has used DHs card and that he is about to report it to Bank and Police, see if it gets a reaction.

BatshitBertha · 11/10/2019 13:43

Tell DS you have noticed fraudulent activity on DH's card, say you are reporting it to the police and the stores in question will be looking up their CCTV footage from those dates and times and they will be prosecuting the person responsible and this could result in jail time.

This should scare him into confessing.

What do you mean you don't know if he has a new game? Do you not know what games he owns and plays or go into his room?

Yes I think he took the card.

NearlyGranny · 11/10/2019 13:44

He needs to block his card and report the fraud. And then he needs to take better care of the new one, sadly.

You can't get much at MAC for £15 but it is the exact price of lipliner and eyeliner pencils...

Once the card is blocked, whoever is using it illegally won't be able to dip in any more. Whether it is son or some random, your DH needs to move fast because these small purchases are often a test to see if anyone notices before launching a big raid on the targeted account!

I wouldn't accuse son but I would let him overhear the worried conversations about who spent at those places and how they did it and that the card has been stopped.

Sad that you feel it's a possibility...

AmIThough · 11/10/2019 13:44

Just ask him. Tell him you're not accusing him (even though you are) but that if it wasn't him you need to report it as fraud.

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:44

He has used DHs card before and he knew the pin (DH asked him to get something) but not sure if he would still remember it

Why would your husband have give a child his pin? Of course he'd remember it.

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:45

given

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 11/10/2019 13:47

Well by giving his card and PIN to your son your DH has broken the terms of the card agreement with the Bank, so your DH is liable for any losses your son has incurred (as it sounds likely it is your son who has used the card fraudulently). The best thing to do is for your DH to cancel his card and get a new one and change his PIN. You should never, ever give your card or PIN to anyone.

NearlyGranny · 11/10/2019 13:47

Oh, he will remember the PIN! Of course he will. And no bank will refund fraudulent usage if the PIN was shared.

I hope DH doesn't use the same PIN for everything. He'd better get busy changing them if so.

Tinkobell · 11/10/2019 13:49

The simple solution is to ask at the dinner table if anyone knows about the mystery purchases with an blank face and an open mind .....leave it about half an hour to see if anyone was suffering from selective amnesia, then call the bank and report it as fraud. Simples.

dancingthroughthedark · 11/10/2019 13:50

You need to talk to your bank's fraud dept.My card was cloned a few months back and the fraudsters made a few small transactions before going for the big ones. The fraud people went through every transaction with me and knew where and the time of each of them as it was hundreds of miles from my home it was quickly clear that I didn't make them.

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2019 13:50

Well, I wouldb’t have known what games my ds has when he was 16. And he knows my PIN.

MotherofTerriers · 11/10/2019 13:52

Report it to the bank to get the card stopped - straight away. You can quiz your son later, but it could be fraudsters who will try a big transaction next. If there's a cloned card out there you need to stop it

BravoStrong · 11/10/2019 13:54

When I was about his age, I used my dad’s credit card to buy train tickets and cinema tickets Blush. I was a cheeky little cunt and no mistake.

Dad told me in a ‘be careful, my card has been cloned’ kind of way (he had just left it by the computer and I’d pinched it) and I owned up when he mentioned CCTV at the station.

I don’t remember the punishment tbh, I was generally not a bad kid, the shame still follows me about 20 years later!

VenusTiger · 11/10/2019 13:54

He asked for money and you said no. He’s used the card contactless. Ask his girlfriend if her new MAC makeup is any good as you’re thinking of trying out the brand. Catch them out.

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