Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think son took this?

148 replies

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 13:07

Name changed as don't want this thread to follow me around

Son is 16 and a few days ago husband (not his dad) noticed son money missing from his account. Today he's looked at his statement and he hasn't been to these shops and spent this
£15.00 at GAME, £5 at tesco and £20 at MAC.

Do you think this is son? What should I do?

OP posts:
BravoStrong · 11/10/2019 13:55

^^not that any of that is relevant to your question.

Cancel the card and ask questions later. The bank will be able to tell you if the transactions are contactless which they probably are.

Branster · 11/10/2019 13:55

I forgot about all these paying apps! Sorry OP yes that would be a more likely possibility if DS took the card details.
In all seriousness, your DH should have blocked his card by now. If the details have been used fraudulently by someone else and they are testing, he may have a nasty shock when they really clean up his account.
Also, the banks are not that willing to cover up fraudulent transactions anymore claiming the responsibility lies with the account holder. For a start, your DH shared his card and pin with DS, that is not good, even if DS has nothing to do with these recent transactions. Nobody should share their PIN with anyone. I know people do it but that’s how it is.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 11/10/2019 13:55

We had some fraud committed. The bank reimbursed us straight away. Is it a joint account? You can see which card was used by asking your bank.

Redwinestillfine · 11/10/2019 13:56

Not sure why you would suspect your son. I would freeze the card and report to the bank. If you really think it's them drop into conversation at dinner that your card has been cloned and the police are looking into it and see what the reaction is..

Beautiful3 · 11/10/2019 13:57

I'd call the bank and say its fraud. Then tell son that the police are looking at CCTV for fraud. See what his reaction is like.

Redwinestillfine · 11/10/2019 13:58

If it is him he'd be grounded for a month, I may ask the local police to give him a good talking to and his ( hopefully soon ex) girlfriends parents would be told what they'd been up to.

GabsAlot · 11/10/2019 13:58

Casually say youve got ot phone thepolice because dh card has been cloned in front of him see what his reaction it

HouseworkAvoider10 · 11/10/2019 14:00

Redwinestillfine Fri 11-Oct-19 13:56:04
Not sure why you would suspect your son

He has stolen from her before.

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 14:01

Son has quite a few games so I don't know which would be new or not.

DH told son his pin earlier this year so I think he thought son would forget/not take his card and buy things.

DH has cancelled his card.

OP posts:
BatshitBertha · 11/10/2019 14:04

Those parents saying they have no idea what games their 16YO's are playing...you really should be keeping an eye on what they're playing and their online activity.

SellmeyourMLMcrap · 11/10/2019 14:04

It's easy enough to see if the card was used online or in person, just check the statement or ask the bank.

Then it's a case of asking your Son, if he denies it just say that you need him to be home when the Police come round as they'll want to speak to everyone who could access the card, that should be enough to scare the truth out of him.

Idontwanttotalk · 11/10/2019 14:11

@Redwinestillfine

"Not sure why you would suspect your son."
Really?
He asked for money and was told 'no'.
He knows his stepfather's PIN (as he was really stupid and told him it).
He has stolen from his mother before.

You don't think that is reason for OP to suspect her son? Not even an incy wincy bit?

Idontwanttotalk · 11/10/2019 14:16

Try deducting the amount from his next month's money (or, better still, don't give him any money next month at all).

Definitely don't ever tell him PIN again and use something really dissimilar to deter him.

BrokenWing · 11/10/2019 14:18

Tell son you are reporting as fraud and if he doesn't admit, report it saying the police will be able to see exactly date/time when the card was used, whether it was contactless or an app and hopefully have cctv too as most tills have it now.

If it is fraud it needs reported and you will get your money back. If it is your son and he didn't admit it you need to report, painful as it is he needs to learn this lesson now. The bank will be able to tell if card was present at the transaction, if it was contactless etc.

MintyMabel · 11/10/2019 14:18

Do you think this is son? What should I do?

Doesn’t matter. You think it is him, ask him.

DeathStare · 11/10/2019 14:18

I don't think there is anyway any of us can answer this OP. It is possible it was your son. There are also other possible occasions. Only you know your son and whether this is likely/possible behaviour from him, and whether he had the opportunity.

Were the purchases in the shops or online? Were they all done on the same date?

If they were in the shops do the dates match up to times when your DS was out, and to times that your DH's card could be missing without him knowing? (If they were all done at times when either you know where your son was, or at times when the card can't possibly have been physically missing then you know it wasn't him)

Given that they wouldn't need the pin (those amounts could all have been done contactless) is there anyone else who had the opportunity to take the card (and to return it)?

If they were done online it's probably more difficult to tell as anyone who could made the purchases if they had ever taken a copy of the card details.

SmashingBlouseYouHaveOn · 11/10/2019 14:19

I agree with the post above that says to threaten to report to police. It should make him confess if it was him.
I would be raging if it turned out to be my son. It is theft and possibly fraud.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 11/10/2019 14:19

I would definitely suspect. I wouldn’t accuse without more evidence than this.

Set a trap. #WAGathaChristie

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 14:19

No it isn't a joint account.

I don't know what games he plays as he has quite a few.

We won't tell him the pin again.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 11/10/2019 14:22

Put it this way, if it wasn't your son then who could it have been?

AliceLittle · 11/10/2019 14:23

Does your son have a smart phone? Could he have set up google/apple pay on his phone using your DH's card details and is now spending contactless with his phone?

OnlineHipur · 11/10/2019 14:25

They were all done on the same day in store. DH wasn't going to use his card so he didn't have his wallet on him but son went out. No one else could have had access to the card.

OP posts:
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 14:26

I would tell DS in general conversation that someones stole his dad's card and you've had to phone bank to cancel card. (Not accusing him)

Say the fraud department have said they will be contacting the shops to check the CCTV at that time as they are really cracking down on card fraud... See his reaction/if he confesses.

QuimReaper · 11/10/2019 14:28

Put it this way, if it wasn't your son then who could it have been?

Fraudsters. They target ATMs and consoles and clone cards.

WWLoss · 11/10/2019 14:29

Agree it may not be him.

It's really easy to clone cards these days.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread