Nasty messages from 'friends' after sharing a condition relating to Mental Health Day

[putheronys]

Yesterday I shared an image on FaceBook about ending the stigma towards mental health, the particular image 'poster' listed quite a few illnesses, depression, BPD, Bipolar.... and it also happened to mention fibromyalgia.

I have two fellow friends that suffer with this condition and both have messaged me this morning, one saying sharing that is beyond the pale, the other suggesting I deleted what I've shared since it makes people think the condition is all in the head.

The thing about the condition is it is somewhat in the head, as it's generally believed by specialist that it's how the brain interprets pain signals, again, a mental impairment really (sorry for my awful wording if that's how it seems).

Anxiety is a mental illness but also has physical side effects, such as breathlessness and fatigue, etc.

AIBU to have shared that post? I'm a bit baffled that they'd attack me with way. Am I really in the wrong here?

OP ALSO HAS FIBROMYALGIA

Wait, what? You re-posted one of those smug, virtue signalling (probably) American (possibly) riddled with grammatic errors things and you didn't even READ it before pressing post?

Hmm, I'll just have a rummage in my sympathy drawer....

Nup. Empty.

You've got some rude friends, too, by the way.

Learning opportunity, I'd call this.

Mephisto, we know. Why are you shouting?

I've come off FB as people sharing random shit and posts about mental health the last few days has done my head in.

It's virtue signalling, nothing more.

If you're concerned about someone's MH, talk to them about it - don't share some benign FB post. Especially one you haven't read fully.

I have a close friend who suffers with fibromyalgia. It is the way the brain interprets pain signals the effect of which is PAIN. One can only hope for Karma to these “friends”.

Fibromyalgia is NOT a mental health issue, and most sufferers are completely dismissed by doctors for years rather than be offered actual help. I work with fibro patients professionally, and doctors routineky tell them to stop being “silly girls” and accuse them of just being lazy or making it up for attention.

Same could be said for bpd

Yes, she apparently does. She’s also very egocentric if she assumes that everyone has the same symptoms, comorbids and understanding as she does.
Just like those for whom depression is cured by nature, yoga and a PMA rather than serious drugs. What works for one is ineffective and annoying advice to another.

My dd, like Buggeredpelvic has both a MH condition and a chronic pain condition. The reason she would be livid with you, OP, is not (just) that the idea of her chronic pain condition being a MH issue led to it not being taken seriously by professionals: for many years, it also led to her being offered the wrong kind of treatment. It led to her being offered treatment that was damaging to her MH and (she has later been told) was also damaging to the body. These things matter. If you made a mistake, you need to rectify it.

Brain cancer is not a MH condition even if it involves the brain. Cerebral palsy is not a MH condition. My dodgy eyesight is not a MH condition.

Shockers, do we in fact know that fibromyalgia is MH-related, just because your child's FND is? Doctors wasted valuable time trying to question dd about underlying traumas (and yes, doing a good deal of damage on the way) because they were convinced any neurological problems must be psychological: it is now known she has Ehlers Danlos which is a chemical imbalance in the soft tissue.

But a mental health condition isn't "all in your head" either.

@putheronys

Of course you should take it down if it's upset them.

People with M.E. and fibro and similar conditions DO get sensitive about it, because they struggle to be heard and believed.. and the worst battle for them is getting DWP and the 'assessors' to believe it's not 'all in their head!'

As you have the condition to, I am surprised that you think it's a mental health issue.

@AutumnRose1 what do you mean ‘we’? Clearly lots of people don’t know, RTFT.

*too!

It's a functional neurological disorder. Ergo it is related to MH.

So, are they actual friends, or just some of your 1,279 Facebook friends? And if they are, why don’t their opinions count with you?

But a mental health condition isn't "all in your head" either.

Of course it isn't. Dd, for example, is very well aware that she also has a MH condition, which also needs to be taken seriously and which needs its own specific treatment. But that is a different treatment to that needed for her pain condition- getting them muddled led to a lot of suffering and damage. She is no more ashamed of having a MH condition than of having weak joints. She is just aware that you are never going to be able to treat her weak joints with the kind of therapy-based treatment that is helping her MH.

Can we please stop with the illness and condition top-trumps. Your pain, suffering or troubles don’t negate or minimise mine.

Genuinely curious - if it's a neuro problem because of the "wiring" in the brain, doesn't that mean that a lot of things commonly called 'mental illness' are actually neurological disorders, if they affect the brain?

With BPD for example they have found differences in the brain between those without
MRI studies have revealed the following abnormalities in BPD:
• hypoplasia of the hippocampus, caudate, and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex
• variations in the CA1 region of the hippocampus and subiculum
• smaller-than-normal orbitofrontal cortex (by 24%, compared with healthy controls) and the mid-temporal and left cingulate gyrii (by 26%)
• larger-than-normal volume of the right inferior parietal cortex and the right parahippocampal gyrus
• loss of gray matter in the frontal, temporal, and parietal cortices
• an enlarged third cerebral ventricle
• in women, reduced size of the me­dial temporal lobe and amygdala
• in men, a decreased concentra­tion of gray matter in the anterior cingulate
• reversal of normal right-greater-than-left asymmetry of the orbitofron­tal cortex gray matter, reflecting loss of gray matter on the right side
• a lower concentration of gray mat­ter in the rostral/subgenual anterior cin­gulate cortex
• a smaller frontal lobe.

Does that mean BPD is a neurological disorder rather than a mental health issue?

Blackberry, I think the answer there is that we don't know enough yet.

I think they have a point although they haven’t made it particularly well. Just apologise and take it down.

Fair enough Cory I think it can be hard to say for certain

I can see why your friends weren't happy about this. Fibromyalgia patients are often dismissed by doctors so your post may have stirred up some feelings.

That being said, the abusive messages your friends sent sound pathetic. Who really gives that much of a shit about a copy and paste Facebook post? Sounds like you all need to spend less time on Facebook and more time interacting in real life.

I once had a client with fibromyalgia and during our meeting she tremored uncontrollably for about 5 minutes. Her partner and I had to grab one leg each and gently but firmly hold her so she didn’t fall out of her wheelchair and hurt herself. I was investigating whether she would meet the legal definition of disability for the purposes of a workplace dispute, so it was great to see the condition in physical action first hand. I know my client would have been horrified to see her condition pegged as a mental health one when it was so clearly a massive physical impairment for her.

Doesn’t matter if you have it. You have inadvertently insulted your friends and possibly reinforced an inaccurate stereotypical view of the condition to those who are unfamiliar with it. Their anger is understandable. I’d apologise and move on.

People have recovered from FNDs eg FMS, IBS, CFS/ME. But those people accepted that it's a FND.

The whole reason people aren't recovering from this dx is because they refuse to believe it has no organic cause

I just wanted to clarify that I didn't share it because it mentioned fibro. I didn't actually realise until I read the list of conditions it listed.

So you were basically just doing a bit of ,mindless virtue signalling without having read the contents of what you were sharing?

I can also understand why your mates with FM were upset. their reaction may have been a bit OTT, but they were not U to challenge you on it.

I know my client would have been horrified to see her condition pegged as a mental health one when it was so clearly a massive physical impairment for her.

But then you could say that about anxiety, which is classed as mental health problem but has a whole host of debilitating physical symptoms such as panic attacks, trembling, mutism etc. Likely there is something in the brain causing these physical symptoms?

Perhaps there is no "pure" mental health problem for anyone, I think most relate to brain somehow