Nasty messages from 'friends' after sharing a condition relating to Mental Health Day

[putheronys]

Yesterday I shared an image on FaceBook about ending the stigma towards mental health, the particular image 'poster' listed quite a few illnesses, depression, BPD, Bipolar.... and it also happened to mention fibromyalgia.

I have two fellow friends that suffer with this condition and both have messaged me this morning, one saying sharing that is beyond the pale, the other suggesting I deleted what I've shared since it makes people think the condition is all in the head.

The thing about the condition is it is somewhat in the head, as it's generally believed by specialist that it's how the brain interprets pain signals, again, a mental impairment really (sorry for my awful wording if that's how it seems).

Anxiety is a mental illness but also has physical side effects, such as breathlessness and fatigue, etc.

AIBU to have shared that post? I'm a bit baffled that they'd attack me with way. Am I really in the wrong here?

I just wanted to clarify that I didn't share it because it mentioned fibro. I didn't actually realise until I read the list of conditions it listed.

I wouldn't say it's an entirely 'mind' related condition either

one saying sharing that is beyond the pale, the other suggesting I deleted what I've shared since it makes people think the condition is all in the head.

I’m possibly missing context here, but in what way are those messages ‘nasty’ or ‘attacking’?

I wouldn't describe fibromyalgia as a mental health issue personally and could see that it might upset sufferers who perhaps face the stigma that it's 'all in the head'.

colour it's the way they worded it, they also said a lot of 'fucking' and 'it's fucking this, it's fucking that' that I didn't include in the OP

Raymond I find such phrases such as 'it's all in the head' just as offensive about any condition listed, be it bipolar or schizophrenia. I can think of various mental health issues with very real physical effects too

I think they have a point.

So your friends are sharing their opinion about your post on a condition they have, and you are offended? Fibromyalgia is not a mental health issue and you have upset your friends with your thoughtless cutnpastenlike mentality. I’d apologise and delete.

The thing about the condition is it is somewhat in the head

You are conflating psychological with neurological, which many people do and this is precisely why people with fibromyalgia (and ME) oppose any form of relationship between mental health and their condition.

Message your friends back, apologise and say you didn't mean any offence and say you'll take the post down.

Your friends have a point and I think you should take what they've said on board.

In what context is fibromyalgia mentioned in the image? It sounds odd, and I can see how it could be construed as a dig.

My friend has Fibromyalgia and has chronic pain because of it so.I can why people might get upset because of it.

Grim I thought it was clear from the OP where I said fellow friends, as in fellow sufferers - I have the condition too and receive PIP mobility for it. It's incredibly debilitating for me but that's not to say a lot of it isn't mind related as it's largely to do with how the brain receives pain signals and experiences things

I really feel for your friends the fibromyalgia must be horrific to deal with.

The all in the head thing is offensive from them though, as if all is mental illness sufferers can just forget about it and get on with our lives, never mind the physical effects it has on our body's.

What BonneVacances says is spot on. There are still a huge number of actual healthcare professionals who believe ME and fibro are basically hypochondria, so reinforcing that idea by conflating it with mental health problems is very damaging. I appreciate you didn't realise, but I can understand why it has touched such a nerve in your friends.

Fibromyalgia is NOT a mental health issue, and most sufferers are completely dismissed by doctors for years rather than be offered actual help. I work with fibro patients professionally, and doctors routineky tell them to stop being “silly girls” and accuse them of just being lazy or making it up for attention. An excellent GP of my acquaintance said “the worst thing to happen to fibromyalgia patients was when psychiatrists got hold of it”.

I’m not surprised your friends are aggrieved, you are contributing misinformation that makes things much more difficult for them.

I didn't pick up from the OP that you have it too. I'm with your friends on this though, mental health and a neurological brain issue are not the same.

There is still a lot of stigma around mental health and a lot of people still have the attitude of it's not a 'real' illness and people with mental health issues can 'fix' themselves as it's all in their head. I can see why your friends are annoyed, I think I would be too. To be honest, I'm surprised if you also suffer from it that you would want it labelled as a mental health issue.

For clarity - I do not agree with that attitude towards mental health issues.

So what if it's 'all in the head'? How is it any less of a condition than schizophrenia or depression? All are illnesses or conditions that can have a negative impact on the person and their family and friends. Depression can kill people. How is it less than cancer, for example?

The other thing I don't understand is why can former cancer patients ding a bell to celebrate being cancer free, at the end of treatment when it would be considered inappropriate for a mental illness patient to ding the bell to indicate that they are in remission from their illness?
There's so much stigma surrounding mental illness that I find frustrating. I'm autistic and so are my dcs, and people feel like apologising and pity, when I feel lucky to be autistic and have autistic dcs. Although I know asc is a condition not an illness.

@LittleSweet it matters from a treatment protocol point of view, and of stigma. Inaccurate information is harmful.

I suffer from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. It is a neurological condition, not a mental health one (and if you suffer yourself I’m surprised you don’t know that). I spent many years being misdiagnosed with depression while doctors conflated being depressed because you’re asleep all the time, and sleeping all the time because you’re depressed. It meant the treatment I was given made me worse instead of better. I agree there is too much stigma around mental health issues and I’ve struggled with my MH too. I’d still be upset if I saw your post.

@LittleSweet

I don't think it's any less of a condition at all, I think mental health is a very serious issue. But cancer isn't a mental health condition, and neither is fibro. Cancer patients don't have to argue that their condition is 'real' but fibro/ME patients frequently do, which I suspect is probably why her friends are upset.

I dont agree with your thinking that any cronic pain issue ( eg arthritus, nerve damage following injury, crushed spine disks etc etc the list could be endless ) is mental health related simply because its the brain that decipers pain signals, better mental health wont make the pain go away if you dont treat the issue. Would you say brain cancer is a mental health issue? because teh brain is controlling the miond. i also dont agree with your line of thinking , as many medical conditions can be negatively impacted by stress, eg heart disease , stress is often a major factor for those suffering heart attacks, and stress can be a mental health issue, but you dont then say heart disease is a mental health issue. I accept that some mental health isues can cause physical symptoms, but physical symptoms have causes, that no amount of antidepressants, therapy and wellness will deal with.

Fibromyalgia is a neurological condition, not a mental health condition. It can lead to mental health issues, such as depression etc, however in itself its not.

@LifeSpectator as many medical conditions can be negatively impacted by stress

That’s very true - my eczema flares up horribly when I’m stressed, yet no-one has ever insisted it is a mental health issue!