To have called in to work when child

[CheeseAndBeans]

Mum of two, youngest is 3 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. I have recently returned to work part time on her nursery days after a few years out so am doubting myself and unsure of what's right....

DD was sick all through the night Saturday night, as per 48 hour rule she couldn't go to nursery yesterday and couldn't get anyone else to have her. She still wasn't right in herself. Called work 1.5 hours before shift was due to start and explained I couldn't come in as had to look after sick child. They were not happy and tried to guilt me into coming in, apologized as nothing I could do but would be in tomorrow as she is on the mend. This morning, she seems ok and no more sick so we all get ready to go, as we walk out the door she throws up! Obviously can't send her again today so had to call work. Again, they made it clear they weren't happy, it's busy today and short staffed as it is. Apologized and explained I couldn't do anything else.

I work in a minimum wage job, 4 hours a day, it's a pain when someone can't come in as others have to pick up the slack and I feel terrible but what can I do?
OH works 12 hour shifts and is much better paid. We would be so much worse off if he didn't go in, my thoughts are we have to put our family income first and so it's me that should take the time off. Neither of us would get paid for the time we didn't work. A friend this morning mentioned she would have shared the days with her OH but they are both in similar paid jobs.

What would you have done? What do others do if their kids are sick? As I said, am new to being a working parent!

Is sick? Title should have said! Stupid fat fingers.

If you cant go in, you cant go in. Dont beat yourself up about it. My child is more important than my job. I hope she feels better soon

You did what you needed to do. Like you said oh is higher paid. Its not like you called in sick and are laying about your looking after your sick child

It depends. Would you partner lose money if he didn’t go in? I’m the higher paid parent but have more sympathetic employers so I take my share.

The sad reality is with a very part time minimum wage job they might just let you go if this keeps happening. It’s really tough being a working parent. FWIW I might’ve said I was sick rather than the child but too late now

You did the right thing. What other option did you have?

Passthecherrycoke OH wouldn't get paid no.
That's my worry, losing the job! It's not a load of money, but it's so nice to go out and earn a few quid whilst not being "mum" for a few hours a week.
I am sure they can't just sack me... but am fully expecting my life to be made difficult.

If you have been in a job less than 2 years then they can just dismiss you unfortunately.

I think you did the right thing and I would have done the exact same! It’s unfortunate your job was short staffed but to be blunt and perhaps unpopular for saying it, it’s not really your problem, your little girl and family come first. Try not to worry as I don’t think you will lose your job over it, these things happen on occasion and can’t be helped. It’s more if you were one to take advantage it would be different in that case! Try not to fret and I hope your little one feels ok soon! You have to do what you have to do sometimes and your job will manage without you, especially if it’s only a four shift!

You did the right thing. This sort of thing really pisses me off - your employer's attitude I mean, not your conduct. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place; they could in theory just get rid of you if it happens too much but then she's a child - they do tend to get poorly from time to time.

Child sickness should be split between both parents. I know your OH earns more than you but he needs to do his fair share of sick days, otherwise it's going to have a negative impact on your career in the long run.

Otherwise where does it end? Is your OH never going to do his share of school runs/days off/assemblies/inset days because he earns more money? How are you ever going to get ahead at work (if that's what you want to do) if all that responsibility is on your shoulders?

Is there a way that your OH can take his turn without losing money - swap a shift or take annual leave?

I would never ring in and say I can't go to work because my child is sick. I would lie instead and say it is me that is sick.

@adaline of course in an ideal world taking leave to cover sick kids being ill would be split 50/50.
The reality is very different however. When my kids were very young I earned minimum wage for 20 hours a week. My partners hourly rate was close to double mine so it made no financial sense for him to take time off unpaid to look after the kids when they were ill. At the end of the month we would have been down by nearly twice as much money than we were when I took the time off. I would imaging the OP is thinking along the same lines. If you are living within a tight budget you are going to choose the option that gives the most income.

When I go back to work we will be the same as you and yes I do think that my husband's full time job (that he has been in for 14 years) is more valuable to our family than any work I will be doing part time/casually.

We can afford to live without a wage from me should I lose my theoretical job but not without his.

OH works a shift pattern, luckily the only other time this cropped up he was off anyway. And has already booked annual leave to cover inset days/half of half term where I am working. So it doesn't always fall to me... it's just in an emergency situation it makes more financial sense for me to do it.
As for career, what I am doing now isn't a long term thing. It just fits in with family commitments while the children are young for now and gives us the extra cash.

YANBU I had the same from my employer when DD was small. I was a single parent with no support. My employer told me I needed to sort out my priorities ie prioritise my minimum wage job over my DD.

Your DH might earn more and not get paid for the time off but it might still work out better off financially for you for him to share as you could find yourself dismissed for this if it continues. Employers have to give you emergency leave for childcare but it’s not endless and it’s reasonably considered to be one day for you to sort out something else longer term. Can you offer to do the hours another time or can your DH stay home and make up the hours or wfh later on?

Of course you were right not to go in, but as a PP said up thread you could lose your job if you’re still in probation. You should be entitled to unpaid time if to care for a child though, as should your partner.
We would always prioritise DH getting in to work as, like yours, he earns the higher wage, but we do share it too so for every two or three days I have to take off, he will take one just to show my work that we are making an effort to share the load.

Going forward I would never tell work that your child will be better by x date because unfortunately it doesn’t always work out like that and they are probably even more annoyed now because they feel you’ve gone back on your promise to be in. I would always say “I will be back in once child is better and of course I’ll keep you updated with as much notice as possible”

They can just sack you unfortunately. There is no easy answer to this one. If your OH has been in his job more than 2 years then although it is costly he would be better to share the days off.

Time off for dependants is a legally protected right. Your employers need yo remember that.

Myself and husband split the days if child is ill, though we are both similarly paid. Maybe the issue is the lack of notice, 1.5 hours before your shift is due to start is giving them much time to get cover, especially if you knew you weren't going to make it in yesterday.

Time off for dependants is a legally protected right. Your employers need yo remember that.

Under what legislation?

@rainbowunicorn but if OP is off too much, she may end up with no job at all. Sometimes you have to play the long game.

And it's important to think about the future. I've seen thousands of posts on here where mums SAH or work part-time and end up doing everything child-related. This is then expected to continue even when both parents are in full-time work because it's always been that way.

Men need to take equal responsibility for the drudgery of parenthood - that includes the sleepless nights, the sick days, the school run, the assemblies, the concerts, the sports days.

He may earn more but he's still their parent and needs to cover some oft the sick days as well, otherwise OP could end up taking weeks off work! It's not fair and it's always women who are expected to take the hit.

If the OH works 12 hour shits, can he stay home while OP works and go in the rest of the day, for example? There's always work-around solutions that don't mean one parent takes all the hit.

If you work four hours your dh could take his turn covering this and then go into work for the rest of his longer shift?

Rainbowunicorn sums it up perfectly!

Can they really just sack me? I was under the impression that they couldn't.

Totally get where people are coming from saying it should be shared. I guess that's just the choice we make for our family... be it right or wrong. Neither I or OH can wfh.

Luckily I am not meant to be in for two days now so fingers crossed she'll be better by then (she's currently refusing the toast I have given her and asking for crisps! )