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AIBU?

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Original poster

This is utter shameless bragging but I'm not sorry

153 replies

LifeonVenus · 07/10/2019 21:08

Well I am sorry, because I hate bragging if it makes someone else feel a little less, but I hope this is a little bit more about me than inconsiderately not considering anyone else.

My dd has had a tough start in life. Think less than ideal family life, no father, lives with her grandmother etc.

Last week, she messaged me (she's just going into GCSE year) to tell me that she got an award for academic achievement for her 2nd year results. She was utterly ecstatic. I don't think anyone was more surprised than she was, as to me her grades were all over the shop (a mixture between A, B's, C's and a D in Maths).

I suspect it's not that she came third in her year, but it was more that she put in effort, but she is fully convinced she came third and I'm not about to burst that bubble. She just turned 15 and told me 'Mammy - if I could do that with only putting in a little bit of effort - imagine what I could do if I study!'. She's like me in that the carrot works better than the stick.

I'm banned from posting about her on FB, I've no friends here (friends don't really care anyway), so her godmother and grandfather rang her to congratulate her.

She really has had all the odds stacked against her so anything and everything she has achieved is all on her. So I just wanted to say that to someone. Don't know why. I don't have anyone else to tell who wouldn't feel it's bragging or something.

Anyway, just thought I'd put it out there. The encouragement seems to having a brilliant effect on her. I firmly believe in encouragement and praise.

And if anyone wants to tell me I'm a brilliant Mum (I'm the worst Mum on the planet - she doesn't even live with me), then that would be cool too..

Sorry. I usually hate these kinds of posts.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/10/2019 19:40

Hmm, Lady Lisa has a point though.

Sacredspace · 08/10/2019 19:40

@LifeonVenus why do you say you are the worst mum? x

fudgesmummy · 08/10/2019 19:43

Brag away with pride, I love these sort of threads!!
Well done to you and your dd 🙂

PlasticPatty · 08/10/2019 19:44

My congratulations to your wonderful daughter, and to you and your mum who support her.

Knowing her mammy loves her will be the most important thing in her life. I know this because I'm the mammy of an amazing daughter who states that despite my mental health issues and my Magdelene-laundry-nun type attitude to life, she always knew she was loved and that I was on her side.

I'm so glad you posted @LifeonVenus. It's a joy to think happily of you and your daughter. You are so right to be proud of her.

Gizmo79 · 08/10/2019 19:48

Good on you both! Well done.x

gill1960 · 08/10/2019 19:53

Give yourself a big hug ... your a brilliant mum who used delicious carrots as a wonderful motivator for your daughter!!!

It always works with kids to be happy and confident instead of scared

I love bribing kids and turning life into fun
I also love negotiating the bribe for kids

MaOverall · 08/10/2019 19:56

You say that you haven't been a good Mum in the past. Just concentrate on the future. Being strong and positive. A lovely piece of news like you have had gives you strength and hope and a place to move onwards and upwards from. Best luck to both of you.

ZandathePanda · 08/10/2019 20:20

Lovely post Star

gill1960 · 08/10/2019 20:20

And forget about ladylisa comment

She has anger issues and she should be in counselling not being mean to you

LisaVK · 08/10/2019 20:26

What a lovely post! It doesn’t matter what’s gone in the past, you should both be very proud.

mbosnz · 08/10/2019 20:34

Ladylisa is clearly speaking from a place of great hurt and pain.

I don't know what to say Ladylisa, apart from kia kaha (be strong, which I'm sure you are). I hope your life path gets easier and smoother.

Juliehooligan · 08/10/2019 20:36

Actually, you are a good mum, you put her needs first by getting help and involving family to help raise her. It’s brilliant that she has done well, just concentrate on getting you better too so that you can be back together again properly someday. Xx

Goingonagondola · 08/10/2019 20:42

OP, please please please save your post somewhere. Or write it out somewhere and just keep it for her.

I promise you that one day your words and your obvious love and pride will mean the absolute world to her to read back.

nuxe1984 · 08/10/2019 20:48

Brag away. She's had a difficult start and has managed to achieve this so she has every reason to be proud of herself. Use this as an opportunity to show her that she CAN achieve …

And also be pleased that she wanted to share this with you.

Original poster
LifeonVenus · 08/10/2019 21:03

Thank you all for allowing me to boast. I'm sorry genuinely, but I've nowhere else to tell (she won't allow me post about her on FB).

It's not her individual achievement which is probably mediocre all things considered. It's that she has achieved this DESPITE of what should be the odds stacked against her.

Thank you genuinely for being so kind to just realise that I just wanted to beam to somebody else. Most people have husbands or something to tell. I have no-one really. Just you guys. And in fairness to you, you were as proud of her as I am. So thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
LifeonVenus · 08/10/2019 21:14

To the two posters (why do I always notice the two, not the 100) who want to slate me. Don't worry. I do that to myself every single day. There is nothing that you can say or do to me that will beat what torture I put myself through. I beat myself up every single day. Not many weeks go by where I don't try to kill myself. My daughter knows nothing about this, but rest assured, if there's a hell - yes - I'm in it.
My daughter has every excuse to act out, rebel, be a little shit, not study, drink, sleep around, do what she feels like.
But................ she doesn't. Apart from academic achievement which I would describe as middle of the road - she has won provincial titles in music and dance, she sings, plays 4 musical instruments, is involved in several sports, is vice captain of her hockey team and has been voted 'nicest girl of the year' by her peers.
Now, I reared her for her first 5 years. But I can only describe it as being led by someone who knew better (her). I'm a pretty high achiever myself, but I suffer from depression. My 'rearing' of her, was very much a case of me listening to her.

She was always different. Remarkably so. So much so that almost everyone who met her remarked on her.
But she has had to cope with being taken from her mother and reared by her grandmother aged 5. She has had to cope with long periods where I was in hospital where she couldn't see me (just told that I was sick). She has never had a father.
So no - I certainly deserve no praise here - none. But she does. She's just a little bit extraordinary.

OP posts:
Palaver1 · 08/10/2019 21:14

Well done to both of you what an uplifting post x

TheOnceAndFutureQueen · 08/10/2019 21:18

OP, you sound like you're both fighters!

That's amazing for your DD! How fab for her to see her work recognised like that. Lovely for you too that she wanted to share her news with you. You've obviously done a brilliant job, despite your tough situation Flowers

nearlynermal · 08/10/2019 21:30

Brag away! Wonderful job, mum Thanks

FeeLock28 · 08/10/2019 21:36

Congratulations all round! It's amazing when, contrary to every bit of nagging and carrotting and sticking, teenagers finally realise that working hard gets them the rewards that they want, in whatever field they're in. Our DD did this, and yes, a good old 'mum smirk' is well earned!

aliphil · 08/10/2019 21:40

What a lovely post! Congratulations to your DD and to you. And, as a very secondary point, thank you for making me smile.

harvey30 · 08/10/2019 21:58

Awww well done to your daughter. Proud momma moment!!!! And i know u said she doesnt live with u but u will always be her momma shes a part of u always remember that xxxxxx😁💖

Frolie · 08/10/2019 22:01

Congratulations to you and your daughter! So wonderful to share good news. Children are our future and she’s an absolute credit to you. You know that the first 5 years of a child’s life are the most important. She didn’t those with you. You deserve a pat on the back too 🌟👍💔

justrestinginmybankaccount · 08/10/2019 22:02

Oh my god woman be proud so proud! You’ve made me cry reading that - I’m so proud of you (I know I don’t know you) but what you’ve managed and achieved and what you survive every day is amazing also xxx

Frolie · 08/10/2019 22:03

Sorry, that’s meant to say, ...She spent them with you.(her first 5 years) Silly Autocorrect! x