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This is utter shameless bragging but I'm not sorry

153 replies

LifeonVenus · 07/10/2019 21:08

Well I am sorry, because I hate bragging if it makes someone else feel a little less, but I hope this is a little bit more about me than inconsiderately not considering anyone else.

My dd has had a tough start in life. Think less than ideal family life, no father, lives with her grandmother etc.

Last week, she messaged me (she's just going into GCSE year) to tell me that she got an award for academic achievement for her 2nd year results. She was utterly ecstatic. I don't think anyone was more surprised than she was, as to me her grades were all over the shop (a mixture between A, B's, C's and a D in Maths).

I suspect it's not that she came third in her year, but it was more that she put in effort, but she is fully convinced she came third and I'm not about to burst that bubble. She just turned 15 and told me 'Mammy - if I could do that with only putting in a little bit of effort - imagine what I could do if I study!'. She's like me in that the carrot works better than the stick.

I'm banned from posting about her on FB, I've no friends here (friends don't really care anyway), so her godmother and grandfather rang her to congratulate her.

She really has had all the odds stacked against her so anything and everything she has achieved is all on her. So I just wanted to say that to someone. Don't know why. I don't have anyone else to tell who wouldn't feel it's bragging or something.

Anyway, just thought I'd put it out there. The encouragement seems to having a brilliant effect on her. I firmly believe in encouragement and praise.

And if anyone wants to tell me I'm a brilliant Mum (I'm the worst Mum on the planet - she doesn't even live with me), then that would be cool too..

Sorry. I usually hate these kinds of posts.

OP posts:
TrixieMixie · 08/10/2019 17:57

Well done you and your DD.

When I was a kid it was maybe a bit like your daughter...things were very difficult at home, alcoholic parent etc. School was my way of escape and making a different life for myself. It's great you tell your daughter how proud you are of her. No-one told me - they thought academic results just came easily to me and it was taken for granted. I would have given the world to know I had a proud and encouraging parent. You are obviously a very loving mum - and....With a loving mum behind you, then you can do ANYTHING!!!

Ladylisa · 08/10/2019 18:02

OP I’m “the daughter “ (not in reality but I’ve been in your daughter’s position)
You have no right to brag, no right to take credit and no right to be proud UNLESS you have been the kind of mother that has been at her grandmothers before she went to school and was there when she got back and all evening helping her with homework and generally being a parent
If you weren’t and were more like mine- happy to take pride in your child’s achievements but unwilling to put the work in parenting then no you have no right to brag
I don’t know The circumstances but as she’s 15 and not with you there must be a serious reason

Straycatstrut · 08/10/2019 18:03

Awww one of my favourite posts in ages!

I love the way you speak about her it's so obvious how much you love her and how proud you are. She clearly cares about you too because look how she wants to make you proud!

feelinghelplesstoday · 08/10/2019 18:11

I teared up! Well done to your gorgeous girl. You have every right to shameless brag!! Wishing good things for you and your girl xxxx

Smrahc48 · 08/10/2019 18:15

Blimey. What a wonderful post! Huge congratulations to your daughter and huge congratulations to you. You must be so proud of her. I can really sense how much you were beaming writing that post OP. Much love x

Miljah · 08/10/2019 18:17

Well done to her, and you. You have every right to be proud and MN is a fine place to go to to tell us great news!

Lou12124 · 08/10/2019 18:24

@ladylisa

Do one!

If you read the FT you would see OP has said she is just bragging how proud she is. She isn't taking credit...OP has been very open as to why the situation is the way it is! At least she still cares. And thank god her daughter is doing well in life! Sorry whatever happened to you happened. I didnt have a mother from 15 years old...my nan was my rock. But like OP DD and me...they're not bitter about it...they're trying to better their lives. It seems you have a lot of issues to deal with and I think it's very wrong of you to dump it all over OPs pride post!

historygeek12 · 08/10/2019 18:24

Well done to your daughter, and you be proud of yourself too, she may not live with you but you are obviously an encouraging and supportive mum xxx

Lou12124 · 08/10/2019 18:25

Off the back of that. Well done to you and DD! 👍🏼💙

SmellMySmellbow · 08/10/2019 18:31

Well done your DD. Just always remember this moment, that she proudly called to tell you. It is therefore obviously better to have you there, at the end of the phone to listen to her achievments, than not there at all. No matter what has gone before and what is to come. Just that alone is worth sticking around for. For her.

Choclips · 08/10/2019 18:32

Can you see how things spread? Joy brings joy. Good on her op. Good on her carer and teachers. Good on you for being over the moon that she's doing so well .

Marcasite · 08/10/2019 18:33

Please don’t worry about sharing with us because good news is too scarce nowadays and achievements are good for self-esteem. Congratulations to you and your daughter

ButtercupGirI · 08/10/2019 18:44

You need to show her your post :)

LifeonVenus · 08/10/2019 18:51

@Ladylisa

There are two words that come to mind, but I won't use them.
Instead I'll just say don't judge what you know nothing about.
I'm not your mother so don't take your ire out on me.
Myself and my daughter have a very close relationship despite distance. She understands my diagnoses. I am as annoying a mother to her as every other mother. (Though she does try to play me and her grandmother off each other).
I've always been a single mother so when my health failed, my mother had to step in.
I didn't have a husband to step up.

I'm not going to take your nasty post personally. I am not your mother. Whatever you have to say to your mother, try saying it to her, not to some random person on the internet.
And realise that your nastiness can really hurt. But that's what you want? Except you're hurting the wrong person.

OP posts:
MrsMozartMkII · 08/10/2019 18:52

Very very very well done indeed!

user838383 · 08/10/2019 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicmij · 08/10/2019 19:00

Well done to your DD. Fantastic that she wanted to give you the great news also. She is right to imagine what she can go on to achieve. More power to her elbow!

stupidboyman · 08/10/2019 19:01

Lovely. Your daughter can be anything she wants.

Justgorgeous · 08/10/2019 19:01

You sound lovely as does your daughter.

@Ladylisa - you should be ashamed of yourself.

Candymay · 08/10/2019 19:01

You’re a lovely mum because you’re proud enough to post on here. You care and share her joy. That’s all good. You’ve probably made mistakes. We do that as parents. I’ve made so many and continue to do so. But I’ve noticed that good parents are involved with the children- they know what they are doing and are happy when things go well. They notice their kids. Congratulations to you both!

frugalkitty · 08/10/2019 19:04

Well done to your DD, I bet your heart feels like bursting! Flowers

altiara · 08/10/2019 19:10

OP you are being and have been the best mum that you can be, no point in comparing to anyone else. So here’s another Star
Your DD sounds awesome!

howrudeforme · 08/10/2019 19:24

Best type of boasting! Made me smile - love a good news story.

dottiedodah · 08/10/2019 19:31

Well Done Her ! just shows that against all the odds she came through !.Not everyone can have a perfect life(is there such a thing )? and your pride in her shows through .Just enjoy the here and now and dont worry about the past at all!

MrsGrindah · 08/10/2019 19:34

To be honest there’s not enough posts like this on here! And I include my own in that!