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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Awaiting grammar school results

146 replies

Asvan · 06/10/2019 16:39

Hi everyone

My daughter did the eleven plus exam for a nearby grammar school and the results are due to come out in mid October.

We didn't really put much pressure on her and didn't send her for tutoring or anything like that but, as the results day is approaching I'm feeling more and more anxious. We loved the school when we went to see it and would be overjoyed if she got a place there (even though the school is not in our catchment area).

I'm just nervous as I don't know which way it's going to go. She is a bright girl (on the top table in the top sets at school), but I know that this isn't always a guarantee. Especially as so many kids have had months of tutoring in advance.

Anyone else in a similar boat?

OP posts:

Laser17 · 17/10/2019 21:06

Hope your all ok 💜with your support I’m sure he’ll shine wherever he goes

Faith50 · 17/10/2019 22:05

Laser He missed by a lot of marks so it would be pointless appealing. I feel terrible for putting ds forward and raising his hopes for nothing. I am distraught and held back my tears to ensure ds did not see me.

Faith50 · 17/10/2019 22:06

Laser17 Thank you

Original poster

Asvan · 17/10/2019 22:18

Faith50

I'm so sorry that your DC didn't meet the required standard. I know exactly how you feel. Everyone wants the best opportunities for their child. We are still deciding where to put our DC. Like you, we have two schools in our catchment which aren't great, but we are going to go see them both tomorrow and then hopefully fill the forms in this weekend. DC is extra gutted as her best friend passed and they could now be separated.

Lots of hugs.

OP posts:

dramaticpenguin · 17/10/2019 22:31

Sorry for all those who didn't get what they wanted. My son did pass, there are 3 grammars nearby and the letter they send just says either yes or no as to whether hed be likely to get a place, no actually results but we got 3 yesses! So very relieved and pleased 1 in, two more boys to go!

Faith50 · 17/10/2019 23:27

Asvan Thanks. I hope you like at least at least one of the schools.

Dramaticcpenguin congratulations to your son!

ashtrayheart · 18/10/2019 08:23

Sorry to those who didn't get the results they wanted and congratulations to those who did.

Bucks results today

Lemoncurd · 18/10/2019 09:40

Trying to resist going out and checking the postbox!

WingDefence · 18/10/2019 22:05

Any Bucks parents here? @Lemoncurd dare I ask...? :/

Lemoncurd · 18/10/2019 22:32

Good news thanks Wingdefence! There I was planning the selection review and it isn't even needed

ashtrayheart · 18/10/2019 23:17

My dd passed (Bucks) and the school she wants is within catchment so should be fine. Phew!

Faith50 · 19/10/2019 00:19

Lemoncurd and Astray Congratulations to your DC!

ashtrayheart · 19/10/2019 00:42

Thank you

WingDefence · 19/10/2019 07:07

Congratulations to your DC 😀

Chickaletta16 · 23/10/2019 07:58

My DD didn't reach the required standard for the calderdale grammar schools - she is heartbroken . Her best friend has ranked.high enough to secure a place..and ALL her friends at school have managed to score high enough to either secure a place or will be on the waiting list. She cried her heart out last night. She kept on saying that she worked so hard- which she did and was more embarrassed that her ranking was much worse than her friends. I've consoled her as best I can. I'm shocked that she did so badly tbh. She s a very intelligent and able child - I think she must have panicked on the day.

She did pass the test for Skipton girls high - which is a fantastic school - but it's 14 miles away. It would be a huge commitment - but it is a fantastic school. I'm unsure what to do here.

Ginfordinner · 23/10/2019 08:05

Like some other PPs I am so glad thst we aren't in a grammar school area. These kind of stress level happen at 16 and 18 for GCSEs and A levels. 10/11 is too young for this.

Commiserations to those whose DC didn't pass

Faith50 · 23/10/2019 08:12

Chickaletta

I am so sorry. It is devastating. You feel so helpless as there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the situation.

Congratulations to your dd for passing the other test. A 28 mile round trip will take its toll on your dd. How will your dd commute?

My ds bawled his eyes out. I too cried once he had gone to bed. The majority of his friends 'passed'. Whether or not they gain a place come March, I do not know. He felt so embarrassed to attend school the following day. He cried a number of times as he was asked for his results by peers who were on a high due to passing.

Chickaletta16 · 23/10/2019 08:37

Thank you @Faith50 and @Ginfordinner
Thankfully she has broken up for half term.and won't see them for a while. I've asked her if she wants to consider trying for the 12 plus - to get into year 8..But she said no. She is determined to go to skipton now- so if she gets offered a place, myself or.my husband will be doing the school run until she's older and can get the bus/ train. Let's see. This is so hard - for children and their parents.

TeddybearBaby · 23/10/2019 09:05

I hope the kids are all feeling better now. It’s such a horrible system! My daughter didn’t pass Kent (can’t say the word fail). She was upset and cried and I cried with her - just because her sadness made me sad too. She felt like a failure and everyone in our family goes to grammar apart from her.

Everyday I’ve worked with her to realise her own potential and that she’s on her own path, it’s irrelevant what anyone else does or how they score because they’re on their own journey....... maybe she’s meant to meet someone in particular at a different school or maybe she’ll thrive under less pressure. Not sure but I told her to trust that she’ll go where she’s meant to go.

Having said all that I am going to appeal so if anyone has any tips on that I’d be grateful!

BelindasGleeTeam · 23/10/2019 10:20

My cousin was the same with Kent. Only child in her family and close friends not at the grammar schools.

Went to the comp and did brilliantly. Was head girl, went on to get a first at university and has a good job. And would tell you she's glad it worked out like that because not bring at grammar school meant she forged her own path.

Faith50 · 23/10/2019 11:02

It is difficult for an 11 year old child to grasp that attending grammar school is not the only way to fulfil your career.

My ds sobbed that he would not succeed in life and that he wanted to experience grammar school life. He knows grammar provides more opportunities so I saw no sense in lying to him.

It does not help that the alternative schools are low attaining. Knowing you will be sending your DC to a school where not even 40% achieve A to C in GCSE each year is devastating. I have cried every night since ds received his results.

I have accepted ds is not highly academic but am struggling to accept he will attend a a school which celebrates mediocrity.

How does a child thrive in an environment where high majority of pupils have serious issues at home, cause disruption in class, do not regularly attend class, do not want to learn, parents have no interest in their learning?

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