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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awaiting grammar school results

146 replies

Asvan · 06/10/2019 16:39

Hi everyone

My daughter did the eleven plus exam for a nearby grammar school and the results are due to come out in mid October.

We didn't really put much pressure on her and didn't send her for tutoring or anything like that but, as the results day is approaching I'm feeling more and more anxious. We loved the school when we went to see it and would be overjoyed if she got a place there (even though the school is not in our catchment area).

I'm just nervous as I don't know which way it's going to go. She is a bright girl (on the top table in the top sets at school), but I know that this isn't always a guarantee. Especially as so many kids have had months of tutoring in advance.

Anyone else in a similar boat?

OP posts:
NumberblockNo1 · 11/10/2019 18:49

We find out tomorrow. I really dont quite know how to handle the day if she doesnt get in. She will be so disappointed as she has her heart set on it.

Jinxed2 · 11/10/2019 18:52

This time 2 years ago I was. She didn’t pass, she was gutted. However, she’s in top sets at her school and doing amazingly. My son is a year below her and despite being just as bright didn’t want to sit the test, so he didn’t and it was great, no stress 🙈🤣

Asvan · 12/10/2019 12:53

Dds results came through today. Unfortunately she did not meet the required standard. She's gutted and I am too, but I'm trying not to show it. At this point, I just want to reassure her that everything will be OK and I'm sure it will be. I myself went to an inner city special measures school and came out with outstanding GCSEs, I then went onto a very reputable sixth form college and got 3 As at A Level and I got a 2.1 at one of the UKs top 10 universities.

I can't help but think if tutoring would have made a difference? I really don't know. The school only has 180 places and apparently over 1000 children sat the test. Plus we are not in catchment so the chances would have been quite slim anyway.

OP posts:
mcmen05 · 12/10/2019 13:41

@Asvan big hug to you and your dd.
Do something nice with her.

Does she know how her friends got on.
Its easier if they all In same boat.

Shimy · 12/10/2019 13:55

Sorry about that Asvan. Honestly, not getting a grammar place does in no way determine what she will achieve later in life. Brush yourself off and look to getting DD into the best school you can Smile, there will be plenty others in the same boat as you at her school.

Asvan · 12/10/2019 13:57

Thank you.

I have no idea how her friends got on, I will most likely find out on Monday.

I just feel so sad. As a parent, you always want the best for your children but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

We now have to make the choice between two OK schools in our area. I've told DD that the choice is hers, she will no doubt pick the one where most of her friends end up going. And I have every confidence that she will do well wherever she goes.

I have another DD who is two years younger and I really don't want to put her through all this even though she is very bright as well.

OP posts:
NumberblockNo1 · 12/10/2019 14:49

My daughter passed. I do wish we werent in a grammar area to have had to put them through it though, and to separate from friends.

Faith50 · 12/10/2019 15:21

Sorry to hear this Asvan Naturally your dd will be gutted. Allow her to get the feelings out then treat her.

Life will and does go on but it is disappointing not to get what you clearly wanted.

I think very bright children will perform well anywhere. You are a prime example of this. Ds is middle of the road which is why I worry. He has to work hard to achieve. He had to revise, read and study. I feel a grammar school will push him whereas the schools in our area will allow him to coast resulting in mediocre GCSEs.

Rosie2000 · 12/10/2019 15:46

I just wanted to say, as a teacher at a comp, that your dd has the best possible element for her future academic success- a supportive parent. I would go and look around the two schools during the school day and get a feel for them both. She will be fine - all the best Smile

Chickaletta16 · 12/10/2019 16:50

My daughter passed the test for Skipton girls high school. She sat the calderdale one.today and I think we find out next week. It requires a much higher mark to pass this one 75% . I would love her to go to crossley heath but let's see. @asvan You sound like an amazing mum and I'm sure your dd will do well wherever she goes x

UselessTrees · 12/10/2019 17:57

Got ours today, too. Unfortunately DD didn't pass. Ho hum. At least we know for sure now and we can start planning for her going to the girls' comp nearby, which luckily is a great school too.

Good luck to all those still waiting.

Faith50 · 12/10/2019 19:51

Chickaletta congratulations to your dd!

Uselesstrees I am sorry that your dd did not pass. I hope she is feeling a little better than when she first found out.

I am visiting all the comps in order to identify which are the best for my ds. None are great at all which is concerning.

Lemoncurd · 13/10/2019 17:31

So sorry Asvan & Uselesstrees, hope your DC are feeling better about it now.

Still waiting, finding myself planning the selection review in my mind! DC said they had 15 questions left on the maths section so sounds a bit worrying. Finished VR but they are discounting 6 questions on that paper due to answer sheet errors!

We have another child who didn't qualify, but they didn't have the same strength of academic evidence so we decided to big up the strengths of the comprehensives for them (which are very good here too) and they really have flown at comprehensive.

AgnesNaismith · 13/10/2019 22:42

@Lemoncurd I’m also awaiting results and dd only managed to finish half of the maths paper....I’ve heard similar from other parents. I’ve played it down and she has no idea the results are tomorrow or that it would be a good thing if she passed.

dramaticpenguin · 13/10/2019 22:45

Yep, is too. Should hear by wednesday
We're in south Devon.

Asvan · 14/10/2019 16:29

Thanks for all the lovely messages. I am just about over it but there was fresh heartbreak for my Dd today- her best friend passed the test. And now Dd is gutted that they are going to be separated. I'm so happy for her friend but I feel awful for Dd. She's just had one disappointment after another.

OP posts:
Shimy · 14/10/2019 16:35

@Asvan, you know many a 'best friend' part ways once they enter secondary school, even when at the same school. Many stories on MN about 'friends', who suddenly make new friends when they start secondary and exclude the 'old' friend, also most secondary schools usually separate children from same schools into different classes so they can mix with others. This can be a good thing for all so she can make new ones.

BelindasGleeTeam · 14/10/2019 16:47

Results here but DS got just below what we think he will need. Last year school had qualifying score of 215. He got 213 so it's waiting lists and hoping for us, unless the AQS comes down. It's usually between 213 and 216 but the Solihull 'issue' may impact as more of the kids from there look to get places at Warwickshire grammars because Birmingham grammars tightened up their catchments.

Warwickshire are doing the same going forwards it appears but this year will be impacted.

Faith50 · 14/10/2019 17:59

Asvan your daughter will be upset knowing her best friend is attending a different school. You can only console her at this time.

Shimy you are correct. Friendships change in secondary school. It can be painful to watch your best friend form other friendships leaving you behind particularly if done in a spiteful manner. It happened to me and was traumatic!

Raphael34 · 14/10/2019 18:07

You have no chance of getting in my local grammar schools without a tutor. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are, if you’ve not come across things like non verbal reasoning which a lot of them like then you’ve got no hope. My dd is exceptionally bright but I still put her into an intensive tutoring program 6 months before the exams. She did 6 exams for 6 schools, didn’t get into our first choice but got into our second. Hopefully your dd will get first choice of other schools

WingDefence · 14/10/2019 19:36

Gutted to hear about your DD @Asvan :(

BelindasGleeTeam · 14/10/2019 19:48

It's a brutal system isn't it?

Feels wrong to subject children this age to it really.

And yes, no hope without tutoring here either. It's so competitive!

blackteasplease · 14/10/2019 20:24

Waiting here too. It's a bit crap isn't it? We have some very good non grammar schools nearer to us, but we did love the grammar.

altiara · 14/10/2019 20:33

@Asvan is her friend in catchment? As just because she achieved the mark doesn’t mean you have a place. Where we are, it just means you can select the school as an option on the admissions form.

3ismylot · 14/10/2019 20:41

Have one older child already in grammar who got 245.
We got our results for our twins today.
One twin has done brilliantly at 243 (AQS usual 233 for one and 215 for the other) the other has come up too short even for the waiting list at 194, we have had a few tears but the one who didn't score as well is definitely more creative than academic and luckily the school they will attend is still decent so no major issue.
None of mine had any kind of tuition and only sat the 10 practice questions the day before the exam to get a feel for marking answers but we always said no pressure and what will be will be.