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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awaiting grammar school results

146 replies

Asvan · 06/10/2019 16:39

Hi everyone

My daughter did the eleven plus exam for a nearby grammar school and the results are due to come out in mid October.

We didn't really put much pressure on her and didn't send her for tutoring or anything like that but, as the results day is approaching I'm feeling more and more anxious. We loved the school when we went to see it and would be overjoyed if she got a place there (even though the school is not in our catchment area).

I'm just nervous as I don't know which way it's going to go. She is a bright girl (on the top table in the top sets at school), but I know that this isn't always a guarantee. Especially as so many kids have had months of tutoring in advance.

Anyone else in a similar boat?

OP posts:
Faith50 · 07/10/2019 21:28

It is nerve racking. I desperately want ds to achieve a high enough grade to get offered a place. Deep down I know he is not highly academic but hoping he at least passes. We want him to have the best opportunities. The non grammar schools in our area are not great at all, one being far better than the others. The others have low attendance, low attainment, limited subjects.

I hope this thread will act as a support and sounding board.

BelindasGleeTeam · 07/10/2019 21:31

I find it fascinating how some are pass/fail.

Ours is just done on score....so no fail. You just are in the top 400 (ish) or not and see where the chips fall with independent offers and waiting lists.

dayswithaY · 07/10/2019 21:36

Try not to worry, I've been through this several times but I always kept in mind that what I wanted was the right school for my child - grammar or not. Some of my children went to grammar schools. While I am grateful for the experience, I definitely have mixed feelings and do sometimes wonder if they could have done just as well at a good comprehensive. They can be quite a harsh environment and there is not a lot of nurturing, more a feeling of you should feel lucky to be at this great school. They can be a little old fashioned. But obviously I only have experience of two grammars, I'm sure they are all different.

On the plus side, when one of my children got to university they said they felt like they had had a brilliant training in essay writing and critical thinking and were very grateful for the discipline and skills they had received at grammar school. I truly hope you get what you and your child want but really, it's ok if you don't.

NumberblockNo1 · 07/10/2019 21:44

Belindas - fail in the sense of fail to get on. If the child doesnt get in then they feel they have "failed."

We dont have the money for independants which I know a lot of other grammar applicants do. Or they have done private primary with a hope of grammar. In many senses it means we have more riding on it as we dont like the alternatives (obviously haven't said that to my child, I've said they'll be fine anywhere...)

Faith50 · 07/10/2019 21:46

I believe a very bright child will prosper anywhere. In fact I know teenagers who achieved straight A's at almost failing schools.

My ds is at expected level in all subjects.

SirProjectofThigh · 07/10/2019 21:46

Can I join in? DS is quite academic, but from the look on his little face when he came out of the exam, it didn’t go well Sad

Part of me is glad I gave him a shot and part of me feels terrible for having put him through it.

It’s just the waiting. There’s bugger all I can do, just want to plan for how we frame it, depending on the result.

whiteroseredrose · 07/10/2019 21:47

We went through it twice and it is a very tense time.

We were lucky, but in the build up played it down. One or two of our other local schools are very good too so we emphasised that.

Fingers crossed for you.

Faith50 · 07/10/2019 21:50

*numberblock we too are not in the position to send ds to private school if he does not get into grammar. This makes me all the more anxious as we have no other alternatives.

Imnotthrowingawaymyshot · 07/10/2019 22:07

I feel for you op we had similar last year, we were laid back but when result came in it was close call. Looking back I would have done more and not been laid back.

Not all grammars are pressurised and not all comps without grammars can cope with bright Co hort and are not neutering in the slightest.

Imnotthrowingawaymyshot · 07/10/2019 22:09

Faith that's true along with steady home life. But we only get one life, we should try and get them in schools that suit them, that may not be an academic school at all.

Chickaletta16 · 07/10/2019 22:35

Op my daughter has sat the test for Skipton girls and is due to sit the test for NHG this week. It has been stressful as she has convinced herself that she is not going to get in and all her friends will. I've told her that I'm proud of her regardless amd she will do well wherever she goes. Of course I'd love for her to go to north halifax grammar - but it's super selective - you've got to get an amazing score to be considered. I get the results for Skipton high next week..but it's such a long commute - 19 miles..that I'm almost hoping she doesn't get it. I have pretty much decided that if she gets into a grammar fine.. if not I'll stick to the local secondary and just offer her support as and when she needs it. It's such a minefield..I have 3 younger dc I need to think about as well.

Asvan · 07/10/2019 23:25

It's so comforting to know that there are a lot of us in the same boat. For me I just feel like it could go either way.

I got an email from the grammar school today to register my DC for a fitness test.
Registration has to be done by this Wednesday. This test will give her more of a chance to get in if there's more pupils that pass then there are places. I got so excited thinking she had been invited because she had passed, but when I read the small print it said that only those who have passed will be invited.... It also stated that the results would be sent out by 14 October.

I really don't know how I'm going to get through this week!

OP posts:
NumberblockNo1 · 08/10/2019 06:02

Imnot - theres more children that would suit our local grammar than spaces to take them. So only a fraction of the children will be able to go to a "school that suits them."

Im trying to prepare for if we dont get in. And reminding myself about a loving secure home etc. My child and I differ as to which of the comps we prefer... and neither are ideal.

Faith50 · 08/10/2019 08:09

sirproject Our approach is so important. I hope my ds is at least recommended so he will not feel he 'failed'. Then the wait until March to identify if he actually gets into a grammar school...

Are scores revealed so parents can work out if they just passed or exceeded? In my area last year, over 14,000 children applied for grammar places and less than 3,000 were accepted. So many disappointed children Sad

I understand why some parents do not entertain the idea of grammar school.

JacquesHammer · 08/10/2019 10:37

Are scores revealed so parents can work out if they just passed or exceeded?

At DD’s grammar you find out your scores if you didn’t pass.

If you pass the entrance test you simply get told “you’ve achieved the desired level”. They believe all entrants should start on an equal footing.

I did have a friend who’s daughter didn’t get in when DD did so I know the entry requirements for that year and they were very stringent.

800 applied for 114 places.

NumberblockNo1 · 08/10/2019 13:48

We only have 1 grammar school. You get the results but also if you met the pass mark. If you met the pass mark and are in catchment youre pretty likely to have got in. If you're out of cacthment you have to wait til March to hear based on distance etc.

NumberblockNo1 · 08/10/2019 13:49

Im really struggling with knowing what plan B is. Theres 2 schools nearby and it would be nice to be clear which we are aiming for!

Faith50 · 08/10/2019 14:56

jacqueshammer
Thanks for the info.

Numberblock Have you visited the two nearby schools? The deadline for CAF form is 31 October so less than two weeks to select once you have 11+ scores.

We have one definite non grammer option. The second we are not keen on.

NumberblockNo1 · 08/10/2019 15:36

Oh yes, repeatedly over the last 2 years! Been to open evenings and schoo tours. We just cant weigh it up as neither hit the spot in the same way as the grammar. Will probably start a thread and crowd source answers. I really wish the private school option was open to us!

Faith50 · 08/10/2019 16:27

Numberblock our alternatives are not great either. We have merely chosen the better of the options.

I would choose private school in a heartbeat.

Rubychard · 08/10/2019 17:14

DS2 is waiting for his 11+ result.

I couldn’t give a shiney shite anymore whether he passes or fails.

He’s been diagnosed with asd this year and I’m not sure whether the environment will suit him. He might do better at The local comp with better pastoral care.

Lemoncurd · 08/10/2019 17:28

We're also waiting (for the third time). Out of all their peers I think we are the only family who didn't engage a tutor, it's taken very seriously here. DS is very keen to go to a particular school but wasn't prepared to put in time on familiarisation so only did a few practice papers beforehand. We wanted to do it this way (at their pace, no pressure) as we felt that if they didn't qualify it would be a lot less devastating for them than if they didn't qualify after being tutored for a year.

I think his school performance is strong enough for him to be well into the top third but you never know how it will go. We had one qualify by a long way (has just achieved 6 9's at GCSE) and another who missed qualifying by an even bigger margin.

Hope your DC all get the results they are hoping for!

NumberblockNo1 · 08/10/2019 17:33

My child's also been diagnosed with asd and theyd really like the quiet and focus of the grammar school.

Ideologically I'd like a good "leafy comp" as it seems half of mn children go to...

We have one of the biggest comps which they would find overwhelming but good senco, or C of E school which is v friendly but doesn't set at all and shes so bright and dwsperate to learn.

WingDefence · 09/10/2019 10:23

Yay my DS got into his first choice grammar - we just found out. I can't wait until we pick him up from school and tell him! Grin Waiting to hear about the other one now.

LoonyLunaLoo · 09/10/2019 12:20

DS has also passed and has his place for September!!! I also can’t wait to pick him up from school!