If I don't go?

[Verystressednurse]

More of a what would you do. Friends of DH (I've never met them) are getting married abroad. It'll cost 500 for flights and accommodation plus money for food, gift, outfit etc. If I'm being honest with myself, I cannot afford it at all. Our group of friends are all going, about 8 of them. Wwyd? I don't want to let DH down and I don't know if he'd go on his own but I also don't want to put myself seriously out of pocket for a couple I've never met??

I think you are just looking for sympathy tbh. Your whole post was about not wanting to spend money you don't have to go to a wedding you don't want to go to - you had your answer before you posted and you are being quite rude to anyone who doesn't give you the whole 'you poor thing' speech.

Hope your DH helps you out a bit when you have to cut your hours - remember if your lifestyle starts to suffer but his doesn't, please look into financial abuse.

Another who isn't sure why you posted.
Clearly people are going to be confused about how one half of a married couple can afford a trip away and the other half can't.

If you'd posted asking if you should go to a wedding with a strong group of friends, even though you don't know the B&G yourself, people would have answered that.
If you'd posted should you go to something you want to go to even though it would really push your family budget, people would have answered that.
But you posted asking about if you should go, as you can't really afford it, but your dh can. That is then obviously going to get posters answering that.

Why wouldn't it be a shared cost?

Odd.

Update if anyone is interested (would totally understand if no one was!)

We are not going to go because we can't afford it. One of the group was asking again about sharing accommodation so I had to tell her I didn't think we could afford it. I really didn't want to tell her before the bride and it was probably a mistake in hindsight but it seemed unfair to keep stringing then a long when they need to book flights and accommodation. She messaged the bride immediately telling her (I'm talking minutes after I told her) even though I had told her that we needed to tell the bride and I wanted the couple to hear it from us. now none of them are speaking to us. I feel really really sad.

Fuck them. If they cannot understand that a lot of people just don't have a stash of cash under the mattress for such indulgent occasions then you are as well off without them. They are pathetic, acting like children. The one who told the bride is a class A bitch for shit stirring and the bride is a class A bitch because she's full of her own self importance expecting anyone to travel abroad for her wedding. Find yourselves some decent friends who are not going to judge you on how much money you have.

I agree with Drum, if none of them are talking to you now, because you can't afford to go, then they're not true friends anyway.

The one who told the bride, is a nasty shit stirrer, and the bride is selfish. Who'd want to be friends with people like that?

Sorry that people you thought were friends, turned out not to be, it'll hurt, but better to know where you stand, than waste any more time and money on them.

BTW, namechange fail OP.