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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to live in a caravan?

423 replies

PickledLilly · 04/10/2019 12:48

I need to get out of my relationship but live in an area where rents/house prices are high and wages are low and Housing Association houses are impossible to get.

I hate the idea of being at the mercy of a landlord and want the security of something of my own but could never get a mortgage on just my wage. WIBU to buy a nice static caravan on a holiday park for me and my two children and cat to live in?

I know it would be a lot smaller than our current home (but so would anything I could afford to rent) but there are other year round residents, lovely grounds, playground and a swimming pool that’s all free for residents to use.

I just get this sense that some people would be aghast at me moving my children into a caravan but it honestly feels like my only way out. WIBU?

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 19/10/2019 18:02

Yes, Sweet, the social housing advice is very outdated in most areas. MANY areas don't do 'lists', you have to rock up homeless before they will house you having been evicted and prove it was no fault of our own and then you take what they offer, where they offer, as temp accommodation or nowt. It's not a matter of a waiting game, many places no longer have stock so they house the homeless and priority cases in private lets the LL agree to rent to them. Right to buy is suspended in most areas for new tenants, too.

Sweetpeach3 · 19/10/2019 18:08

My local area and surrounding areas have "bands"
A -been homeless
B
C
D- just wanting to move

You have to bid weekly on the houses they post online then depending on what bands bid on it your then out into a list and they go by needs etc but you get to choose the house and area ... I genuinely dont know what her area is or were she stands in regards to her social housing procedures. I'm just going off my city and towns near by and I know we're able to buy after a year and you get a discount for the amount of years you've lived in the house if you don't buy straight away

bakedbeanzontoast · 19/10/2019 18:10

I am currently living in a van which has been converted. H is as happy as a pig in shit but I'm losing my marbles. I'd hoped to be able to hack it for a year or two to save for a deposit but I can't handle it psychologically- I need a place too much IUSWIM.

I wish I could manage it though, as I can't ever see myself getting the money together for a deposit.

BunloafAndCrumpets · 19/10/2019 18:10

I can see why this appeals - try it! Rent one for a year and see how you go? I'd do it. Good luck op xx

Original poster
PickledLilly · 20/10/2019 09:21

Well, I’ve done the sums and I can’t afford to live in a caravan. I can’t afford to rent a flat either, even with doing a quick benefit calculator, I simply don’t have enough money to live. So I’m fucked basically.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/10/2019 09:40

Then you may have to look at either earning more by upping your hours/second job or a houseshare and the children remain in their residence with their dad.

Littlemissdaredevil · 20/10/2019 09:54

That’s sad news. Is there any way you can increase you income? Can you save up a leaving fund? Would family be able to help?

Fightingmycorner2019 · 20/10/2019 10:01

That’s a shame op . For what’s its worth (and i have name changed mid thread as have my own issues Smile) I thought it was a decent idea
This is a long game . That you have to play .

Keep mental health stable Flowers as it’s an unhappy situation
And then it’s all about the money honey . Look at work , your skills

You must feel very sad now . Keep trucking . This is not a Permanent situation Flowers

Original poster
PickledLilly · 20/10/2019 10:30

Unfortunately it IS a long game and it has been one I’ve already been playing for years whilst I save and I’m at the end of my tether frankly.
I have upped my income as much as I currently can doing 2 days employed and 2 days self employed but the self employed work is something I wouldn’t be able to continue once I go so I can’t take that income into account for rent etc, I’m just trying to save what I can. I am looking for better paid work but it’s not easy in my area where there is a lot of low paid/seasonal work. The job I have is a decent secure job but cannot up my hours as I job share. I’m doing my best to earn what I can but when you don’t live in a big city, the options can be fairly limited.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledLilly · 20/10/2019 10:36

As for the poster suggesting I just abandon my children and rent a room somewhere, I have no words...none that are polite anyway.

OP posts:
Fightingmycorner2019 · 20/10/2019 12:09

If you are working as much as possible, obtaining everything childcare related , maybe you really do need some legal advice
Hate to say but if you left would your ex pay maintenance ? Not nagging but have you explored every single avenue

It’s really hard I am sorry

Teacakeandalatte · 20/10/2019 12:15

OP I know several people who have split from their partners and are now single mums and are able afford to rent a house using their housing benefit. I'm not saying its easy but are you sure you wouldn't be entitled to enough benefits if you split from your partner? Maybe you should talk to the citizens advice bureau and get some advice on this.

poorpaws · 20/10/2019 12:37

I feel compelled to come here and defend OP as I know her IRL. She is an amazing woman who is kind, considerate, extremely hard working and lives for her child, THEY ARE HER ENTIRE WORLD!

She is looking at every option available to her and is most definitely spending many hours working through her best options. She CANNOT imho stay with her partner and stay sane (there are a lot of very negatives to him that OP has not felt able to relate here. Far, far worse than him hitting her).

IMO she is heading for a breakdown (again she would never admit that here). She is the strongest woman you could wish to meet but she is paper thin now, almost transparent and she needs good advice without nasty comments!

She is lovely, going through hell, trying to do the right thing, BE KIND!

OP YOUARE AMAZING.

poorpaws · 20/10/2019 12:40

She lives for her children, not just one of them, sorry

Lilacviolet · 20/10/2019 14:14

Where are the nasty comments?

Fightingmycorner2019 · 20/10/2019 14:27

Where are the nasty comments

Erm read thread . Shit loads !

Poorpaws you keep looking after your friend. I think OP is being understandably discreet but reading between the lines I guessed her partner is no Prince Charming

CormacMcLaggen · 20/10/2019 21:46
Hmm
Lilacviolet · 21/10/2019 06:15

Hmm indeed

BillieEilish · 21/10/2019 07:58

OP Just a thought, earlier I suggested perhaps renting the caravan for a year (well, it would be 11 months in reality) is that also prohibitive?

I really feel for you and guessed that obviously it was very important to you that you got out of this relationship pronto, it's just you wanted advice on the practical and not emotional and I understand that.

Where are the nasty comments? Bloody hell, read the thread.

OP, there WILL be a solution, I am wracking my brains for you.

Lilacviolet · 21/10/2019 08:03

I have.

Where are the nasty comments?

I can see comments which disagree with OP buying a caravan, suggest it isn’t a good idea, posts which advise against it.

Where are the nasty ones, please?

poorpaws · 21/10/2019 21:12

Lilacviolet I have no idea why you are concentrating on “nasty comments” when there is so much at stake for OP but I can play your game too! I said “... she needs good advice without nasty comments” I didn’t say there has been nasty comments! Satisfied now? Can we all get back to helping OP.

FavouriteSoul · 21/10/2019 22:19

Having read through the thread, it appears the OP has been offered a lot of constructive advice about the possibility of renting or owning a holiday caravan to use as a permanent home for her and the DC, and she herself has subsequently posted that it's not financially viable.

I'm not sure what further help she requires? Maybe a GoFundMe page would be worth considering.

Lilacviolet · 22/10/2019 07:37

OP has been helped, including by me, even though I didn’t give her what she wanted.

I must admit that crossed my mind as wellfavourite, but who knows

SittingAround1 · 22/10/2019 10:11

OP I'm sorry to hear that. Are you still paying towards your partner's mortgage ? If so, is there a way you can stop/ or reduce the amounts?
Is he open to discussion about you officially having some equity in the house with you saying you can't pay anymore until you have some security. I understood he is not a nice man so maybe these discussions aren't possible.
Would it be possible to make an excuse about helping your mum out financially so you say you can't contribute to the household and then secretly save ?

Original poster
PickledLilly · 22/10/2019 20:43

I don’t currently pay the mortgage (although I am named on the mortgage), he pays mortgage and bills and I pay for food, children’s activities etc. it’s how we have always organised our finances. I’m saving what I can but I need to focus on finding a better paid job to up my income. That’s my current battle plan: earn more.

OP posts:
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