WIBU to live in a caravan?

[PickledLilly]

I need to get out of my relationship but live in an area where rents/house prices are high and wages are low and Housing Association houses are impossible to get.

I hate the idea of being at the mercy of a landlord and want the security of something of my own but could never get a mortgage on just my wage. WIBU to buy a nice static caravan on a holiday park for me and my two children and cat to live in?

I know it would be a lot smaller than our current home (but so would anything I could afford to rent) but there are other year round residents, lovely grounds, playground and a swimming pool that’s all free for residents to use.

I just get this sense that some people would be aghast at me moving my children into a caravan but it honestly feels like my only way out. WIBU?

Oh gosh I can’t remember the model or anything but it’s a 12ft with three bedrooms (albeit tiny kids rooms). It’s a 2012 model so it’s not pristine but it’s £33k which includes insurance and site fees for the first year so assuming I could get a loan for about £12k I could buy it. I’m just terrified of getting it wrong and everyone being miserable in such a small space but also massively excited at the idea of a space of our own with no man in it. I keep mulling over the posters who said that because he’s not abusive I should stay, but is that it? Is that the best you can hope for if you’ve not got a lot of money? To have to stay indefinitely in an unhappy relationship just because he’s got a nice house doesn’t seem right to me, but then, I don’t yet know how hard actually going it alone will be. I’m terrified of getting it wrong but I so desperately want to just be on my own.

I keep looking around this big house full of ‘stuff’ and thinking, Christ, I’ll hardly be able to take ANYTHING but then thinking, do I really need it? All this stuff and this beautiful house isn’t making me happy. I’m not yet sure how much ‘stuff’ and space matters to kids or if spending time with you and having your attention is more important.

Stuff definitely doesn't matter. People matter. Children and family matter. I wonder if, because you are unsure, you should rent st where ; a flat maybe) for ( months and have a good think. An unhappy relationship can be total hell even if you are not being physically abused! I do t recall if you've seen a solicitor yet, that may be a next step and a look at rentals.i wouldn't rush to buy something just to escape

Oh OP I am so glad you updated and have been making strides in the right direction! I have been thinking about you!

All sounds very optimistic to me.

Of course you have doubts, but you seem too excited to be that doubtful. I agree about staying with someone just because they are not abusive is crazy. Obviously you haven't come to the realisation that you need to leave overnight. It is a HUGE decision/upheaval.

It still seems a great solution to me. As long as, and they clearly are, your eyes are wide open.

If you have to sell it back, I repeat, as many others have said, the minute you put your key in a new car, you lose 30%. This is the price of a posh car and will be your home. You'll make it lovely! Adventure. You can still sell it back, even at a loss. You will have lived in it.

Oh no, stuff definitely doesn't matter! It'll a great adventure and I think they're so cosy too. When you know the van please update, I love looking at them!

Oh and don't call it 12ft, that'll be the width!

A canal boat may also be an option, we rented a caravan in April when it was still chilly outside, but the caravan was warm. I would never private rent again with I’d rather live in a caravan too.

Apologies if i repeat anything but i havent read the whole thread.

Be careful. If the site doesnt have a residential licence then quite simply, the local council do not licence it for people to live there. They must have a permanent address and pay community charge elsewhere.

Many site owners like to deceive and sell caravans on the basis that you can spend as long as you like there but the site closes for a month etc. Bottom line,if the site closes, its generally not residential. You can ask the site owner,who may go all coy about it, or find the local authority and discretely enquire with them as to what sort of licence a particular site has,,but dont mention your intentions !!

You might be able to find out from the LA website.

Monthly fees wont be much cheaper than many rents and when you sell it,the site owner will consider it his right to rip you off.

Oh OP I’m excited for you! I would love to do what you’re doing but it doesn’t seem to be possible where I live. They’re all holiday parks- no residential.

WRT the “stuff”- I had to move this year from a large spacious 4 bed house to a much smaller 3 bed terrace this year and as a result had to massively declutter and sell off lots of furniture and “stuff”. We don’t miss it at all. We obviously kept the stuff we were attached to but everything else is just “stuff”. Far less to trip over/clean/move to find something else. I’ve embraced the clutter free life and it feels very good.

Yeah!!!! So exciting!

Yes ! Why do so many Americans live in trailer parks ? Because they are cost effective

Ignore the Shiite comments . You are doing your best and it will be fine

Honestly, I don't see why you can't rent a place for 6 months and see how you get on. You are going to get swizzed borrowing £12k for this all because you have a real thing about renting.

Yes ! Why do so many Americans live in trailer parks ?

TOTALLY different kettle of fish there. Not at all the same. And a lot of those places are complete ghettos with very dangerous excuses for housing.

Exciting OP!

I left my x with a rucksack and 2 kids. We left all our stuff and we were fine. Stuff is just stuff.

OP you have made your mind up anyway I think note the things to check and follow your dreams . I know how cheesy that sounds . Good on you for making a plan

Women can’t win if we stay we are bad mothers , if we leave we are bad mothers

Just do the sums and methodically work trough any issues highlighted .

Does your partner know , and is he likely to kick up a fuss . Will be be likely to pay support or ask for acess?

Loads of people live in them. I am a HCP and do many visits to craven parks where I see elderly people, families, singles, everyone
I do hate them because, where I live, they are made for living on where they wouldn't get permission for housing
Most have to move out for a month each year and some owners charge for everything. It's a lot of money for something that depreciates rapidly but most have nice communities on them

Other people are permanent residents on site at the moment so it is something this site allows (I’m aware not all holiday sites do).

Check out their planning permission. I know of a site where the council got wind of the fact that they were letting people live there year-round, but the planning permission was only for holiday use. They threatened them with enforcement action, and the residents were then required to leave for 2 weeks every year.

Then the coucil decided that, as people could't live there year-round, they weren't entitled to housing benefit for their site fees.

At least 3 appeals were submitted, but I then changed jobs and the appeal I'd done was taken over by somebody else, and I've never been able to find out the outcome.

My friend bought one for £20,000 she had to pay £850 a month site fees (expensive as its a popular area admittedly) and when she decided to leave sold it for £300 and was lucky not to have to pay to get it towed away.

Some friends lived in a static caravan for 8 months when their house had been flooded. They found it hellish, and it nearly broke them.

The static was a modern 6-berth job, in their front garden. The family were 2 adults and their 18 yo daughter.

They found the lack of space claustrophobic, tempers got frayed and their relationship got very strained. There was no room for storage. There was no privacy, as you could hear everything from the other side of the flimsy walls.

The LPG froze in cold weather, leaving them with no heating, cooking or hot water. The water and waste were connected to mains, but the standing water in the pipes froze, too. They had to bail out the sink and couldn't use the lav.

And they both put on a lot of weight because they didn't have stairs to run up and down, or space to store and prepare the sort of food they used to eat, so their diet wasn't as good.

Their daughter, now 37, describes it as the worst 6 months of her life. Amazingly, she still managed to get good A-level results, despite having nowhere proper to study.

Oh gosh I can’t remember the model or anything but it’s a 12ft with three bedrooms

I'm hoping you mean 12 metres, not 12 feet. Most cars are less than 12' long!

Our motorhome was 6m long, and it was only bearable because there were only ever 2 of us in it and we're very good friends.

I know of two families (one on a very long term self build project) who have raised families in ancient statics. As long as you can heat it then I think it’s a great idea and definitely no worse than renting where you could have to move regularly and can’t even decorate to your taste.

are you really not allowed to stay in your house with your DP?
what does your DM think>?
can she store your things

Have you been to look at any flats? That would be a much preferred option to me, that you seem to be dismissing. I don't know if they are all too expensive or you are worried about lack of outside space. I had two kids in a flat for a few years and it was fine. We went to one of three nearby parks every day. I don't think they missed out. There are also good things about flats that I didn't really realise until having a whole house, like the bills are lower and it's not all on you if the roof needs repairing. If DH and I split up or I moved to a more expensive part of the country, I would happily live in a flat again.

My other question is whether you own half your current house and if there is an option for your ex to leave instead or for you both to sell and move somewhere smaller each.

A friend of mine lived temporarily in a caravan and found it very hard and isolated, especially in winter. If I could I would prefer to have my kids in a small flat in a not-so-nice part of town.

12ft WIDE people not 12ft long

‘D’P doesn’t know, he will kick up a fuss as he will want me to stay. I make his life significantly easier by being his housekeeper., it’s not like he’s going to be super keen on the idea of washing his own socks. I would hope he will want to share access to the children, I have no desire to stop him seeing them so I envisage them staying with him a couple of nights a week and every other weekend maybe? I’m not sure what this means in terms of maintenance, I doubt I’d get much, if anything from him.