WIBU to live in a caravan?

[PickledLilly]

I need to get out of my relationship but live in an area where rents/house prices are high and wages are low and Housing Association houses are impossible to get.

I hate the idea of being at the mercy of a landlord and want the security of something of my own but could never get a mortgage on just my wage. WIBU to buy a nice static caravan on a holiday park for me and my two children and cat to live in?

I know it would be a lot smaller than our current home (but so would anything I could afford to rent) but there are other year round residents, lovely grounds, playground and a swimming pool that’s all free for residents to use.

I just get this sense that some people would be aghast at me moving my children into a caravan but it honestly feels like my only way out. WIBU?

Thank you tiredybear, I feel like I’ve been given a bit of a hard time on this thread. I did expect some people would be very anti the idea and it’s important I know that as if it’s something I end up doing, I’ll no doubt come across the same attitudes in real life (especially at the ‘naice’ village school) but I wasn’t quite prepared for people thinking I’m a brainless idiot.

What’s it like madcatlady? Cold? Is the one you’re staying in electric or LPG?

I’d be away 4 weeks a year and use my Mum’s house as a permanent address and pay the top up on her council tax (she gets a discount for living alone).

Would a log cabin be an option? Small from the outside but I was in two recently and they were beautiful and roomy. You'd need somewhere to put it obviously. Your mum's garden? It's a big ask obviously but you never know.

Plus really cheap to buy outright

OP, in my opinion you really seem to have thought through your options and from your posts you are not throwing yourself into this. Tbh, I am slightly jealous! There is a site DD stay on 90 mins from home and I can totally imagine living there! It closes for 3 weeks a year and loads of people use it as their main home, obviously they must find a way around being resident and paying council tax elsewhere. Many probably have a house that they rent out.

For those worrying about the space being cramped, whilst bedrooms are small the living space is usually the same as as modern flat. The really big game changer for children is the outside space and freedom. The site we use is privately owned with pool, clubhouse and playground on site. All homes have a garden and everyone knows each other. This is where DD had her first taste of freedom, being allowed to scooter to the club house and back. She safely learnt to ride a bike and increasingly has been allowed out with friends to come back at an agreed time as she get older.

For years we rented an amazing caravan for only £25 a night. It was a 2 bed with a full bathroom and dressing room. Unfortunately the owner moved off site and owners are now renting out at crazy amounts so we visit less often!

OP, I discovered that a friend of mine owned a caravan on site after bumping into her ar aqua aerobics! She is in education so could spend the whole summer there. Her children were teenagers so they went for a three bed, however she agrees if you can make a two bed work the layout is much better.

I don’t have anywhere to put one! My Mum’s garden is suitable only for mountain goats...building anything on it would be a feat of engineering well beyond my budget.

I looked at a two bed and three bed and the three bed definitely would work better for us in terms of storage space as there is a wardrobe in each bedroom and my kids would do better not sharing. The kids bedrooms were very small but the living space I felt was fine. Master bedroom had plenty of storage and an en-suite toilet. I will have a look at some flats and see what the space difference is. The access to outdoor space and facilities I find appealing.

Like a previous poster , I'm also a health professional so I have visited patients in all sorts of homes, lodges, boats, caravans!
Most caravans are very well insulated, as roomy as most flats, well designed and in friendly communities.
I would have no hesitation in living in one.
Also , some not far from me are on the market for £280k.

OP, my friend had the fixed beds taken out and each of the kids room had a full size single. Also look into whether you can bring in a van from off site. There will be a cost involved to resite but most off site companies have far more choice and are several thousand pounds cheaper for the same caravan sold through the site. Play hard ball with the salesmen, you are being tied into thousands of pounds site fees whilst you are there.

If your safe and warm and away from an abusive man then do it.

Look I think really stay with your mam first and rent a while. It's a BIG commitment.

@PickledLilly a dear friend of mine did it after a string of very bad luck. They found it brought stability and was a short term haven. A few things to consider are whether you can afford a spacious caravan that gives own bedrooms etc., they recently upgraded and it’s quite lovely tbh, more cottage like with lots of space, heat, nice appliances and furniture, 3 small bedrooms. What fees are and if there is a cap at how much they can raise them. As well as proximity to school. I think kids can be teased about so many things, better to give them the confidence to be proud of who they are and where they come from.
My friend moved on after about 8 years when I’m full time work and has rented a lovely home now and is very happy. She could have bought but wasn’t sure she wants to stay long term in the area. She was able to save while in the caravan and has a nice nest egg (about £60k) to put into a small home when she’s ready. She had 3 kids, only 1 struggles with caravan living, the other 2 thought it was the coolest thing ever and said they look back fondly. Worth noting the one that struggles has lots of other areas she is impacted by, I don’t think it is due to caravan more it was an added issue for her.

@LakieLady love that you used Romany! ☺️

How old are your children? Depending on how big the caravan in it’s totally doable. I would go for something mobile though. So you can travel and have fun in it too! And you might get very tired of the same old spot. I’ve only done it with kiddos while we build our home on our own property so we had acres of fenced areas for them to play so it didn’t seem cooped up

I would live in a caravan on a site versus a flat ANY day- you need the outside space with kids!

I think far better to live unconventionally than miserable OP. Good luck

The op has already ruled this out, (fair enoigh), but I really want to live in a mltorhome some day! When DCs are grown up etc.

It's completely legal, so none of the worries about being turfed out if it turns out you aren't actually allowed to live permanently on site, (despite what the salesmen told you), as seems to happen .

Also, if I did get turfed out, I'd just move on and would still have a roof over my head! Genius. Either this or a houseboat, but I reckon the mooring fees would be worse than rent.

www.comfort-insurance.co.uk/guides/living-in-a-motorhome-pros-and-cons#targetText=Living%20in%20a%20motorhome%20means,next%20leg%20of%20your%20adventure.

I'm shocked at the judgment from a lot of people on here I just say!! I think you are right and that this is actually a great idea. I don't get why people have a problem with it!! People always judge and suggest options that are not feasible! You can't just rent a house if you can't afford it - my own mother asked me the other day why I don't buy a bigger house because mines too small..as if it was just a simple thing to do !! In America heaps of people live in trailer parks - I don't know why we don't do it here

It seems like a nice life to me !! And you would be in a better position to save if you live there and work towards your future!!

Good luck

Just to make clear what I'm saying . Councils are housing their families in need - including many families who have escaped abuse and violence - in shit horrible places bevause there are no council homes. The op will not jump to the top of the list and she will be much safer in a caravan than in a crowded bed and breakfast filled with junkies and with damp on the walls. That is the reality of much 'temporary family accomodation in the UK. A quick Google will reveal this

This is true. We were put in a "hotel" by the council when we were fleeing DV. My kids were 11 months old and 2 1/2. There was a range of people with alcohol and drug problems and the police were there every night arresting someone. One night a drunk woman beat the shit out of a new girl and all her friends at the hotel lied for her and said new girl started it. She got took away in an ambulance. We were in the bath once and my DD started screaming saying somthing was in my hair, it was cockroaches coming out of the wall. I remember it being so cold we could see our breath.

If id of had the money id of done what OP is planning, rathar than living in a scary place where your frightened to go to sleep

But the OP isn’t actually in danger where she is?

I have to say, I’m a bit confused by the mixed messages on mumsnet. On any other post, LTB gets flung about but on here, a number of posters have suggested that, given that I’m not in physical danger, I should just stay indefinitely in an unhappy relationship so my children can stay in a nice house with a bit more money. Are only wealthy people allowed to LTB then?

That’s a bit unfair, pickled, that’s not what I’m saying at all.

I think in cases of abuse, LTB is absolutely right. But from what you’ve said that doesn’t apply here. I do think where abuse isn’t taking place it is worth just considering things very carefully because it does impact, hugely, on the children. And in your case, I think to move them from an established home to a caravan is wrong. I’m sorry if saying so upsets you but I do.

Obviously if you say abuse is involved my answer will be different.

So how long am I to stay here, until they both leave home?

pickled it’s your life, ultimately it’s up to you. If you are unable to provide them a secure home alone then yes, and that isn’t a harsh reply, I’m ‘saying’ it gently. I do really sympathise with you. But yes, your children have to come above what you want.

No, of course not. But given your objection to renting is that you "hate the idea of being at the mercy of a landlord" rather than that you actually can't afford to, I think some feel that you need to prioritise your kids rather than your emotional response to renting.