AIBU to be annoyed with friend... or more annoyed with myself perhaps

[bullseye2018]

Earlier this year I had a mental turnaround when I realised how much bullshit treatment I've taken on the chin my entire life and decided I wasn't prepared to put up with it anymore.

I'm encountering a lot of pushback from people in my life who are used to bullseye being the people pleaser so it's not been easy, but I'm doing my best to stop treading water and move forward with greater assertiveness. But my initial reaction to things is still one of the people pleaser so it's an endless battle against myself. When I realise what's happened later I get really angry. With the person but more with me for folding.

Which brings me to today's example. Due to meet a friend for an early lunch on the coast near where he is staying (of course). This is a significant drive for me, but I like the area so was happy to oblige. Only we've woken to terrible weather with forecasts of a severe thunderstorm storm coming through set to hit at meeting time. So I tell him this and suggest we meet somewhere inland where we won't be so exposed. To which he replies "Fag".

My immediate reaction is to reply back with "All right then, I'll meet you as planned." But I don't and instead wonder what the hell he means by that, so if anyone has any clues please fill me in.

I reply back with a "?". To which he replied he had planned his day around our lunch. I end the exchange with an agreement to meet as planned though now I've lost interest.

It's always the same. With this friend and with others. It's always on their terms, at a place more convenient to them, at the time they specify. In the past I have suggested we meet halfway, but they end up booking somewhere close to them anyway. I realise I've dug my own hole because I spent most of our friendship happy to oblige others not realising it was taken for granted, but I have a lot more on my plate now so isn't it fair enough that I can expect a bit of flexibility in others without the backlash?

Prepared to be told I am being unreasonable for suggesting we deviate from the plan, but I'm pretty pissed off with his replies.

@AmIThough

Could you slowly phase out your 'friends' and focus your time on people who are more friendly and respectful to you?

That’s the plan @Johnsonsfiat. I’ve already started. This one just threw me for a loop as I thought he was one of the good ones.

I wouldn’t be put off by a thunderstorm if in in a car and then sat inside ( unless red weather warning telling you yo not travel) i would go if I’d already arranged just make sure next time the meet up is at your area and convenience make sure all relationships going forward are equally reciprocal
Fag in this case means it’s a bit of a pain/drag

@NotSorry I read that book. It's very very good.