Do I have a right to be annoyed?

[Anxietyqueen1987]

My daughter's 5th birthday is coming up and I'm planning on doing something small for her birthday, only very close family and a friend, with her two children. A little back story, my daughter is Autistic and doesn't have any friends, which I'll admit is probably harder for me than it is for her. Anyway, a friend and her two children were due to come, this "friend" is aware of the situation and has been through similar things when people have failed to turn up for her childs birthday parties and knows how heartbreaking it can be (also bearing in mind I have made the effort to go to both of her children's parties). Anyway, she has now decided that she is throwing her own birthday party on my daughters birthday as a few of her friends wouldn't have been able to make it so she has basically said she understands if I cant make it and thats that. So now my daughter wont have any children at her already small little birthday party. Am I wrong for being upset? Am I over reacting?

OP,
Of course most people on here get, you being upset.
Please don't upset yourself further by those that are obtuse.

Total rational to re-think a friendship when you have been treated in a way that you would never treat someone.

A big thing in our house as I have raised my children is that when you commit to something, you don't ditch it, when another invite you'd prefer comes along.

It can be a bummer at times but it's quite basic manners to stick to what you have agreed to.

TabbyMumz "you need to protect yourself in the future by having lots and lots of people to invite,". Ah, sorry, I was thinking that you were a bit of an idiot, but now I realise that you are probably eleven.

When you get to be a grown-up, it's not always easy to find lots and lots of people to invite to parties, you can't just invite your whole class as you do now.

I'm sorry OP, both for the situation and TabbyMumz.

OP my dc has just started school and I don't know what I'd do without knowing the other parents - it really does help. Could you start a whatsapp group or similar? Through the school/ teacher if necessary? How far away do they live?

When you see certain posters being utter twats on thread after thread after thread it confirms that they are in fact utter twats

On another note though op, I was reading your thread from 2 months ago where you said your daughter had been diagnosed as non verbal autistic, so to hear she is now verbal is brilliant news.

@Willowtree....I actually think you sound 11.

Tabby. You really need to stop. I'm pretty sure most people reading this thread will agree with the OP; you are coming across as uneducated, a bit thick and a rather big twat.

@tabbymumz She's pre verbal. And honestly I can't tell if you're being genuine or spiteful.

And honestly I can't tell if you're being genuine or spiteful.

I'd go with "spiteful".

I’d be direct. “Sorry I don’t see how you going clubbing at night means you can’t come to the party?”
Did she actually use that as the excuse for pulling out or was it something else. Either way it’s a shitty thing to do and she isn’t much of a friend.

Thirstyformore.... I'd be interested in why you say uneducated? Think my language is pretty good. And have you read my comments about saying people are uneducated. Pretty rude really don't you think?

@TabbyMumz you are clearly not helping here, so why do you keep replying? For fun? Please just go and speak to people or reply to threads when people actually want to have you around!

Anxietyqueen.....I'm actually interested to know ...what is so bad about telling you you need to get more friends....seeing as your thread is about a friend who has let you down and your other friends live so far away? What is it about that, that has upset you so much? As that seems to be the catalyst for you being so horrid to me.

Not necessarily uneducated but uneducated when it comes to this topic because, frankly, some of the suggestions you have made have been ridiculous. Also, how can so many people disagree with what you are saying? How can we all be wrong? Doesn't it bother you knowing that you have consciously gone out of your way to make me feel like shit? I don't understand it at all.

@TabbyMumz sometimes it isn't as simple as just making new friends, at the moment I don't have the time to make new friends - I'm studying as well as looking after my daughter and she is my focus. So when you said "you need more friends" it wasn't something that you were suggesting, it was a judgement.

Fuck knows why I'm even explaining myself to you. Also, why are you reading through my other thread - bit weird isnt it?

can I suggest you look up whether any ASD charity has social group near your area

I know this wont help now but if you can find a group she can mix with this would be good for the both of you :) (speaking from experience here)

Great idea @mumwon - I will definitely look into that x

As you have an autistic child, you need to protect yourself in the future by having lots and lots of people to invite, so when some people cant come, you and your daughter are still ok

Heh that made me genuinely laugh. Clueless unless you've had close and extensive experience with a child with autism and how people, especially parents go on around them then you can't really comment. An autistic child has a very real threat that NOBODY will attend their party, no matter how many are invited. I've seen it.

Just give up.

OP your friend is not a friend, personally I'd put her on the back burner and stop making any effort.

can I suggest you look up whether any ASD charity has social group near your area

Fab idea. Ask the bairns paediatrician if there are any local ones.

Or if you're in the north east, I can PM you one.

That’s tough OP.

ChilledBee and TabbyMumz are being extremely dense and/or deeply nasty. Please ignore.

@gamerchick I'm actually in London but thank you anyway, its much appreciated.